I will be out and about for the most part of the morning doing top secret work for the government. I shouldn’t tell you this but since I am so close with you, my readers, I’ll let you know what’s going on. I have been contracted by the Federal Trade Commission to surreptitiously frequent local stores and purchase toys that are made in China.
I will then take the toys home and bathe with them, play with them, and ultimately eat them. After all of that, my lead levels will be checked to see if the toys pass muster and DO NOT pass toxins.
Oh sure I run the risk of blood poisoning and memory loss, but hey, it’s all about the children. And don’t think this is all bad, if you add a little soy and ginger to a Cabbage Patch Doll it tastes just like a big, pork filled wonton.
So folks, I will be around later today. Until then, enjoy your Monday and think about me as I am eating a bowl of Crayon Consommé.
As always, Cheers!!
20 comments:
Oh dear Matt....*snicker*
That drawing is priceless!!! Love it. Have fun with the toys, and remember to chew the GI Joe guns very carefully, cuz if you get an Uzi stuck in your throat it's hard to get it out.
Starting Monday off with a bang, aren't you?
Talk to you soon.
So glad they hired you to do sumthin....spending all day alone in your home has caused you to start growing fungi
Love the cartoon!
But hey, after doing all that are you going to remember to come back here and if you do will you know who we are or for that matter who you are??????
Peace
How are they going to be able to tell the memory loss is from lead levels and not drinking?
They have no right to take the toys away from my children. Just put the lead content on the packaging and let me decide!
(nice cartoon portraying the Hole-y Jesus)
Like Crayon eating is a new thing?
YUMMM...consomme.
My son was upstairs today and the baby was at the foot of the staircase. I asked her "Who's the man upstairs?" and she said "Jesus".
Are you testing adult toys from China too?
As Emeril would say "Bam" since I am not about to be quoting Rachel Ray
Hey now Marilyn raises a great point...where is the concern and testing on ADULT toys?!?
Although if I am not mistaken, mine are from Taiwan. Whew.
Gosh, I come back and you leave. :(
Take care and eat safely...
It's been years since I ate a crayon. I used to eat them raw, but I hear there are lots of great recipes these days.
Cheers!
You just give and give and give... my hero!
Now Matt, don't exagerate. I'm sure you don't have to eat the toys, only lick them. Its already been proven that eating toys causes constipation, so you don't have to redo those studies.
Brings me back to the days of eating Elmer's glue. Ah, the memories!
Come back soon!
mind the sharp edges!
Oh yeah, hotwheels go well with milk.
Did the lead get to you?
Where you at?
AAACK. It's Wednesday and you are not back?! Did you choke on a cabbage patch leg? Hope all is well.
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