It’s Stream of Consciousness Friiiiiiday so get me a trench coat, a fistful of dollars, and call me Mr. X because I am going to make a purchase on the black market this weekend. Humina humina humina….Zooooom!!Holy frijoles, I cant believe that it is Friday already. This week has flown by faster than President Bush’s exit from a Forth Grayde Spelling Bee. Have any of you ever eaten tripe?
I never have because it really sounds disgusting. I was reading about exactly what it is. Tripe is usually made from the first three stomach chambers of a cow. Yum-Oh!! “Hey Joe, could you pass me another slice of Elsie’s belly?”
What I find funny is that you can only use the first three stomach chambers for tripe. I guess eating the fourth stomach would be considered disgusting. WTF? Have you seen that commercial that features an aardvark, a sword swallower, and the seven foot Geisha? I haven’t either. It doesn’t exist, but I bet it would be funny. Rock me Amadeus…
I am so pissed. My sex life had picked up so much lately and now it is on the slide again. The damn toy companies are recalling Aqua Dots because if ingested they act like a date rape drug. I had been putting those things into everything I cooked and feeding it to Schmoop. Life was good and my wanker was happy.
But now, they are gone from the shelves and I have to buy them from a shadowy figure named Wang Lo Phuk (better known by his street name, Aquaman). Outrageous!! To those darn clever Chinese manufacturers: On behalf of America I apologize for the overreaction.
Speaking of denizens of Asia, I was informed by Nursemyra on Peace Globe Day that “Hoa Binh” is the Vietnamese word for peace. I thank her for that because now when I go to a Vietnamese restaurant I can better communicate with the staff. I’ll be able to say, “Hey Ho Chi Minh, how about bringing me a another Hoa Binh of fried dog. Chop, chop.” Matt-Man: American Diplomat.
Even though I am a quasi-heterosexual (which is a guy who is attracted to women, but never gets to have sex with them), I have this recurring thought about having hot three way sex with a woman AND a man…The weird thing is that it is always Steve Lawrence and Edyie Gorme, and Frank Sinatra videotapes the whole thing. Go figure.
I also have freaky dreams about having sex with Siegfried and Roy which really disturbs me. Fortunately when I have this dream, before any sex takes place, a tiger hops into the picture and eats them…Good Kitty.
Well folks that’s it for this stream. Enjoy your weekend. Spend it having a hot three way with a washed up singing duo. See ya ’round this weekend.
Cheers!!
26 comments:
Wahahahaha "Wang Lo Phuk" great Streaming Friday Matt! Have a good weekend and don't drink to much hooch!
You are a funny yet disturbed man.
Thanks for the awful mental images of ziegfried and roy
Roger: Thanks and have a great weekend yourself. Have a potato for me, and Cheers!!
Hammer: Awful? What could be funnier than gay Germans? Look at what a laugh riot Hermann Goering turned out to be. Cheers!!
Once I bought my dog a can of tripe since it was supposed to be "good" for her. It was BEYOND disgusting. Waaaaay beyond. It smelled like ass as soon as I pierced the can with the opener.
Thanks for bringing back THAT memory.
Not sure how much worse that fourth chamber is...but I'm gonna pass.
Great Streaming Friday! Happy weekend!
Gack - tripe. Don't remember. (bad childhood memories)
The way your mind works, it's no surprise the odd sex dreams you would have. You're a little warped, you know that, right? But that's why you are so beloved in the blogosphere, darlin'.
Thanks for coming by and seeing me, the cute one.
Real: Thanks and I am sorry about bringing that memory back. I do have one question however, exactly whose ass did it smell like?
Have a great weekend and Cheers!!
Songbird: Me being "warped" is conducive to my body being able to conform to a variety of positions. Cheers!!
No tripe for me ty...
I don't know Matt-Man...when I get done with one of your Friday streams, i feel like I need to go wash my hands...
just saying
enjoy the weekend dude...
This is all very disturbing.....
Peace
You know it's Friday when I'm laughing hysterically and the boss is getting out the straight jacket.
Luv ya Matt Man.
Cheers!
Bond: Make sure you use anti-bacterial handsoap when you wash. Enjoy your weekend as well. Cheers!!
Odat: Why thanks...You know just what to say to bring a smile to my face. Cheers!!
Angell: I'm glad you got a chuckle out of it. Have a good weekend and a big ol' hunk of love right back at ya.
Cheesy: I'm surprised that there is an organ that you wont wrap your lips around. ; ) Cheers!!
*shakes head*
Have a great weekend sweetie...
SMOOCHES~
Dixie: What does that mean? Have a good one too Dixie. Cheers!!
ewwww...tripe.
Hmmmm...a three way with a singing duo...can I have Toby Keith...and...oh I don't care. Just as long as I get Toby.
is schmoop suffering withdrawls?
Kat: Toby Keith? Havent you ever heard me say, "Never trust a person whose name is comprised of two first names!!"
Schmoop's head hurts a little and she has been craving Taco Bell, but other than that she is coming off of the Dots just fine. Cheers!!
I have actually eaten tripe--it's in a Campbell's soup called Scotch Pot (i think) It was non-descript.
hey as long as you are not doing a three way with Ann Coulter and Rachel Ray you are good to go.
Wash his hands? Maybe it was cause Bond ran out of tissues?
No video? WHA?!?!
I am SO leaving the Sickfraud and Boy reference alone... it could get me in SOOOOOO much trouble...
bet you look pretty hot in that trench coat
TB: It was non-descript fo rgood reason. And good point about the three way. Better an STD than going mad from those two. Cheers!!
Anndi: I thought the same thing, but I hate to poke fun at a person's self-gratification habits.
Nurse: Most people would not think I look hot in a trench coat but rather, more like a pervert who flashes young girls. Cheers!!
hmmm, your sexual fantasies are less than appealling Matt-man. more like appalling. "washed up singing duo and a tiger" honey, this is why your sex life is on the slide again. :-)
LOL on Hoa Binh of fried dog.
Have a great weekend......
Siegfreid & Roy, 'eh? Sounds quite disturbing.
Aw Matt-man..you gotta wipe that tripe right outta your mouth.
And you mean to tell me you plan to smooch Schmoop with that tripe potty mouth? No wonder you're desperate. Hope you're gargling with that bag-wine. If it doesn't kill you it might cure you of those crazy sexual fantasy's with dead bodies. Ugh...the visuals...my poor eye's!
Lisa: If I could control what I fantasized about life would be full of visions of Jessica Alba and the Pink-Haired cartoon chick from the Esurance commercials. I was quite amused by the Hoa Binh line myself. Cheers!!
CrAzY: It is beyond disturbing, I am afraid to go to sleep some nights. Cheers!!
Matty: Sorry to have blinded you. I tried to rid those S & R visions from my head, but Vegas animal acts are a powerful force. Cheers!!
Not actually getting any has actually given you one new skill--Master Baster. Thanks for that!
Metalmom: One must always adapt. Cheers!!
Well, that's the second time I haven't been able to follow your weekend instruction.
I'll just have to have the regular hot sex I always get.
What? It ain't bragging if it's true.
Travis: This becoming a habit young man. And as far as as relaying your sexual info to me, that wasnt very nice. Cheers!!
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