Streaming Friday!!

It’s Stream of Consciousness Friiiiiiday so roll me in mozzarella and sprinkle oregano on me because I am making Pizza Burgers tonight. And what inspired me to want to make them, you ask? Yesterday and still today, I keep hearing Rosemary Clooney in my head singing “Mambo Italiano”. Hey Mambo!! Mambo Italiano…Hey Mambo!!…Oh, l'umanità, save the song for Bond’s gravy.

I finally created a picture that captures the essence of Stream of Consciousness Friday. It was inspired by a new picture that Deb, the hottest Lebanese woman I know, uses on her website and when she comments. When I look at my new picture I can feel the thoughts just oozing out of me. Then again that could be my gonorrhea discharge…Anyone have a tissue handy?

A council of Catholic Bishops has announced that American Catholics should vote for President next year based upon Church doctrine, i.e., their stance against abortion. In other words, a candidate should not get your vote if he’s in favor of killing a zygote. Of course, if Lindsay Roberts or former Congressman Mark Foley run for office you should vote for them based upon the Church’s “It’s a blast to have sex with young boys” doctrine. So let it be written, so let it be fun!! Amen, and blow me.

I need a smoke. Man, I smoke a lot when I first get up. Must be my body screaming for the gooey goodness that is tar. Light me up and puff puff puff. Yum-Oh!! Be right back. Ahhh, nothing like a good smoke. Y’know, instead of buying toys for my little nephews and nieces this year, I think I’ll just give them each a pint of lead paint and some ecstasy. Matt-Man, giving a big FU to the Chinese economy. Hey Mambo, Mambo Italiano!!

I am going over to see my son Ryno this morning. He is out of school today because the teachers are having a meeting. Probably a meeting about how it is not conducive to the education process for female teachers to have sex with their students. Why is there so much of that happening? More importantly, why wasn’t it happening when I was a kid?

I know when I was in sixth grade I fantasized about Ms. Myers spanking me and ending up naked with her as we rolled around in chalk dust. Hey Mambo!! Barry Bonds has been indicted for perjury and obstruction of justice…what a “shock” that is. It reminds me of an old Denis Leary joke, “Lou Gehrig died of Lou Gehrig’s disease; how do you not see that coming?”

My cat is still pissed at me for putting her in that video yesterday, because she said that I should have asked her first. No, I’m not crazy…she really can talk. Sheesh…

I have often thought that if I was a slice of Prime Rib, I would want to be dipped in au jus and eaten by Judy Jetson…Santas in Australia aren’t allowed to say, “Ho, Ho, Ho” because it may be offensive. I think the real Santa needs to pay the Aussies a visit and stuff his North Pole up someone’s ass, while his elves look on and yell, “Go, Go, Go”.

Well folks, see ya round later. Enjoy your weekend. Spend it singing “Hey Mambo” while masturbating with a cannoli.

Cheers!!