It’s Stream of Consciousness Friiiiiiiiiiday so dress me in sack cloth and put me in the Bell Tower because I am looking like Quasimodo. Holy crap my back is KILLING me!! I am hunched over like an old man stooping to pick up his wife from the floor after breaking her hip.The food was Dee-Lish yesterday and evidently the drinks were going down a little too smoothly because the Matt-Man has a hangover. I rarely get them anymore, but this one is a bit of a zapper. I guess a little hair of the dog is in order later this morning…well maybe sooner than later.
It’s actually a nice sunny day here today after getting a bit of wet snow last night. I am going to put up Christmas decorations today. Exciting isn’t it? I think this year I am going to incorporate live Elves into the yuletide décor. Oh they exist…And they make the funniest damn noises when you nail them to the wall.
Nothing says, “Merry Christmas” quite like the sight of bright red elf blood on the wall bathing in the glow of green twinkling lights.
I have a Christmas earring in today. It’s a little, sparkly Christmas ball. I have to vacuum in a little while. I like to leave it running in one spot for ten minutes. It really annoys the prick that lives on the floor below. Merry Christmas, asshat!! La la la la la bleeeeeeee!! I need to come up with a good Christmas song to post on You Tube. Any suggestions? No? Yes?
I am making Hamburger Helper again tonight. Yum-Oh, I’ll take pictures. This one is HH Stroganoff. Chef Matt-Man will cook it with love. Maybe I’ll top it with my, shall we say, “special sauce”. “Hey Matt-Man is this Sour Cream on top?” Not exactly!! I saw a show yesterday that dealt with the career of Rachel Ray.
They had a brief interview with the chick who runs the Rachel Ray Sucks (link) website. Wow!! The sow who runs the website may not like Rachel but evidently she has tried everyone of her recipes because she is a pig.
She looks like a cross between Liz Taylor and the Vice-Principal in the movie “Uncle Buck”. Here lady, take this quarter and go downtown and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face!!
The lady also has a bunch of rules on what can be posted. You are not allowed to say anything bad about her or the moderators. What a pussy; she can dish it out but can’t take it. Use the link above, and make sure to stop by her site and tell her what a dick twizling fuck nozzle she is. I can’t stand RR myself, but fair is fair.
Upsie-Daisy and touch me right there. What? John has a long moustache…Well, I am off to begin medicating my bad back. Come here my little liquid friend. Enjoy your weekend. Spend it listening to the shrieking of impaled elves.
Cheers!!
31 comments:
I came here to stream with you but my monitor is bright and my head and eyes are in a world of hurt from yesterday's libation and celebration.
Have a good weekend!
Metalmom: I feel your pain. Cheers!!
love the pic! Got to ask... P shopped or in a tub?? lol
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire altered MM style would be da bomb!
Neighbor sent over a huge case of wine yesterday and I didn't even get a sip... maybe today I'll make up for it? Aleve and vacuuming is grand for the back... feel better babe ~~ hey want to borrow my half eaten garden gnomes for your xmas decos?? The flamingos are full!!!
MMMM special sauce....
Cheesy: If you dont chug some of that down you should be punished. And, if by "my half eaten garden gnomes" you are referring to your boobs, I would love to add them to my "decor". Cheers!!
Here's a sure fire way to get rid of a hangover. Go into the bathroom and slam your wanker between the toilet seat and the lid. You will quickly forget how much your big head hurts. Amazingly enough, this seems to work for women too.
Song ideas:
"Here comes Santa Clause, here comes Santa Clause, right down welfare lane"
"My nuts roasting an an open fire...Jack Frost nipping at my balls..."
Jeff: Smash my wanker!? I have an odd feeling that I may need that later tonight. Even an idiot gets lucky once in awhile.
Your song ideas...Very touching. Cheers!!
hmmm... something to "The Twelve Days of Christmas"?
I don't want to suggest my favorite carol because I don't want to hear your words to that tune for the rest of my life...(selfish bitch that I am)
Kat: I did "Matt-Man's Twelve Days of Christmas" last year and will be changing a few words and recording that as well. But I still want to do a new one. C'mon, let me know what your fave X-Mas tune is. Pleeeeeze. Cheers!!
Uh.
Nuthin'.
I got nuthin, no suggestions for songs. I allowed myself the luxury of sleeping in, and brain has not entered the building yet.
Songbird: Somewhere in Arizona, an idea is dying of loneliness...Cheers!!
hmmmm...I had yet to cross over to the blogside last year...I'll go back and try to find it...(you could actually link it for me you know...)
Carol of The Bells? Don't know if your voice is up for it...takes serious enounciation...
Nope NOT telling you my fave....
Kat: Y'know, I knew you would pick something difficult. I was expecting Ode to Joy. No link for you!!
It Came Upon A Midnight Clear
I mean you've got a head start just with the title ;-)
And upon what my dear are the elves impaled*giggling*
Sounds like you need some valium and a massage! Trotting off to hack that wench's site RIGHT NOW...
Happy football weekend!
TB: Not a bad choice at all...And the elves, at least the female ones are impaled on Candy Cane of course. Cheers!!
Tigger: I have never had valium but a Vicodin would hit the spot. Hack away and enjoy the pigskin action yourself. Cheers!!
Ride that vacuum! and feel better.
And I'm kinda partial to "Gramma Got Run Over by a Reindeer"!
Peace
'Even an idiot gets lucky once in a while' is comforting to hear. There may be hope for me yet as I'm sure I qualify.
Gotta agree with my sistah Turnbaby on the song - what more material could you ask for? Of course, you could also have fun with What Child is This...
Hope your head shrinks back down to normal size and the elves don't keep you up all night.
Off to see what a talking pig looks like (yeah yeah, but Babe was cute)
Odat: The best thing about a vacuum is that it sucks. Cheers!!
Jeff: Godspeed my good man. Cheers!!
Angell: How about "Whose Child Is This?" Babe was cute. Almost makes me regret eating her. Cheers!!
You could do poetry for a change and do the Night Before Christmas... or Oh Tan and Bomb.
Marilyn: I thought about doing the Night Before Christmas thing. Unfortunately, I am afraid of mice. Cheers!!
Matty baby.. I've got your Christmas light hanging inspiration in The Luggage today...
Let's see... songs...
Oh come let us adore him? :)
I can hear you singing it now...
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire (hint: a squirrel's demise)
SMOOCH
OOH!
'Ding Dong! Merrily on High'
This is fun!
'Nuttin' for Christmas'
Again, more squirrel...
Anndi: I'll take you squirrel suggestions under advisement. How about this...Ding Dong Merilee On Mine? Cheers, you sexy Canadian (and you may be the only one) you.
OK, the HH thing made me throw up a little. But other than that, excellent stream as always.
RR, great recipes, annoying ass person, though she does seem to have a nice ass.
remember, beer before liquor, never sicker.
Listen to some Bob rivers Christmas songs for inspiration, and are you hungover again by now????
How many elves did you nail today?
Tsk, tsk that drink will get you every time, that and the turkey.
Travis: Blasphemer!! Hamburger Helper is what has made America great. Cheers!!
Sparky: I concur with everything you just uttered. Cheers!!
Sassy: Feeling better now and the only Elf I nailed was a saucy little elf named Merry. Cheers!!
I have been to the RR sux site and you are right on the money, Matt. People in glass Double Wides should not throw stones. She's a serious puss.
Starr: HA...Well said.
Welll last year my brother said he was going to decorate mom's place with his blood. He went to the barn to get the gun...she called the sherriff....you know...same old family gatherings.
Oh sorry....was that too depressing?
Post a Comment