It’s time for another Bagwine Sunday Morning Church Disservice…Our topic this week? Thanksgiving. Well, actually a Pre-Thanksgiving annoyance purge. You see, if I am to fully enjoy the celebration of Thanksgiving on Thursday, prior to that joyous event, I feel that I need to unload from my soul, some thoughts about things that irritate me…My current financial situation…In a word, it “sucks”. I worry that this Christmas (unless I change the name tags on the gifts that his aunts and uncles give him showing that it’s from me instead of them) the only thing I will be able to give my son Ryno is a pat on the back and a kiss on the head.
My genes…Talk about irritating, Damn. From my dad I received charm, a gift for words, and a great sense of humor. I like that. From my mom? I received the gift of baldness, bad gums and teeth, and eyes that while pretty, see at the rate of 20/750. Bald, toothless, and blind is no way to go through life son, no matter how charming you are!!
My weight…Over the past couple of years I have managed to lose nearly 70 pounds of SPAM and Wild Irish Rose induced fat. That is quite an accomplishment for someone who has the self-discipline of Lindsay Lohan while on a tour of a Stoli distillery.
In spite of my loss, look at my picture, (which, by the way, shows my freshly shaven head) the remaining, excess fat cells seemed to have all congregated in my face and neck. Put a yellow shirt with black zig zags on it on my body, and I would look like a six foot tall Charlie Brown. Ai yi yi…
Bloggers…Or more precisely, Bloggers who do nothing more than paste jokes, stories, or hackneyed items AND show no credit to the original creator (when possible) or contan any personal thoughts or takes on what the Blogger posted.
Now don’t get me wrong, I am not a blog snob, a blog critic, or attempting to get people to change their ways, it is just a personal annoyance. To me, it’s like inviting someone over to your house for a dinner of homemade Loosemeat Sandwiches, and using ground up Big Macs to make them.
Okay, I think I am done for now. Sure I will probably stew on these things for a couple more days, but come Thanksgiving morning I will promise to try to turn these irritants into a road to positive and thankful thinking.
For instance, I will be thankful that none of the blogs on my sidebar are the fast food factories of the blogsosphere AND that my readers leave funny and thoughtful comments. I will be appreciative of the fact that while my face may still cling to past obesity, my weight loss probably added a few years to my life and helped me to avoid diabetes.
As I spend Thursday eating and watching football with my best friend Schmoop, I will reflect on the good times of past Thanksgiving dinners with my mom and dad, and realize I was lucky to have them around as long as I did.
And finally, I will realize that if all I can give Ryno for Christmas is a pat on the back and a kiss on the head I will be happy that I am able to, and more importantly, knowing the kind of kid he is, he will understand why and still be appreciative as hell.
Enjoy your Sunday, and as always…Cheers!!
NOTE: If you get the chance tune into Turnbaby's BlogTalk Radio Show tonight...For Details, Click HERE.
25 comments:
Wow, sounds like someone had their bowl of wheaties this morning.
Cool dome too. I think I can see my refelection.
YAY!! We finally get to see the freshly shorn Matty!!
Sugar sometimes you just gotta get things off your chest. And your son knows what is important in life--that's the love you give him and the life lessons you are teaching him. That's the best gift any parent can give.
Smooch
And thank you SOOOOO much for pimping the show--we are talking about sex tonight---you should call in!
Jeff: Thanks. Sometimes the words flow effortlessly. My dome thanks you. Cheers!!
TB: The noggin is lookin' good and yeah, I am someone who keeps things bottled up so I feel better. As far as your show, I am surprised. You? Talking about sex? Cheers!!
congrats on the 70 pounds. i think you're being too hard on yourself. your mug aint that bad!
i'm going back to Oz on Wednesday so if i don't make it back here by then have a happy Thanksgiving!
Eyechan: Are you coming on to me? Have a great trip to Oz and tell Toto that I said Hi. Cheers!!
Now that you have purged, you can look forward to a gluttony of happy thoughts and feelings for the end of year festivities, a quick well fueled slide into resolutions at the New year.
However slim the takings for Ryno, he has one thing a lot of children miss: A good father to give him a pat on the head.
Jamie: Thanks, your words helped and will not go unheeded. Cheers!!
Matt-man
And we're thankful we have someone like you to make us laugh and forget about the shitty part of life. Humourous, witty, intelligent men are hard to find.
How did you ever lose the 70 lbs? and no..I don't want to hear about any more cannoli's.
Happy Thanksgiving to you and Shmoop and Ryno.
Okay Matt-man, don't get ME started!! You know I love reading your blog and thanks for coming round to mine.
What the hell is Loose meat?
Matty: Thanks alot that was very nice of you. As far as losing weight, I did it by giving up carbs. It was hard and you quickly you remember how delicious a simple piece of heavily buttered toast is. Cheers!!
Teach: Ha...I'll send you a link to the recipe, and dont get yourself started!! Cheers!!
wow... "Bald, toothless, and blind"
your mom must have been quite the character!
broke, blind, chubby, and blogdowned can all be rectified eventually. Be grateful you are not stupid.
Giving Thanks for having a healthy, happy, smartbrain (and smartass) son...is truly a gift. In addition to the fact that somehow you seem to have the love of an awesome woman. Many men out there who would trade everything they have for those two gifts.
Mateo es pelon!!!!
(isn't it COLD in Ohio these days?)
Jay: Ha...Good One Jay. She was a character and a fine woman. Cheers!!
Kat: I know all of that and thanks. However, why do you say that "somehow" I have the love of an awesomw woman..Am I not worthy!!?
Yes, I know I am pelon, but I am impervious to the chill of Ohio winters. Cheers my friend.
somehow...as in we don't know how...laughing...perhaps bagwine is actually Love Potion No. 9??
(I know you know...all that and more)
Kat: Perhaps it is; I hadnt thought about Bagwine that way, or perhaps it is my undeniably charming infantile sense of humor. Cheers!!
Rant away Sir. It's good for ya.
Cheers!
Travis: I am better now, for the moment. Cheers!!
Matt - You do have so much to be grateful for. We are grateful for your wit and ability to put a smile on our blogfaces everyday.
{{{{ u }}}}} Sounds like you needed one...
Mimi: Thanks. I will keep on plugging away. Cheers!
Cheesy: Oooo baby, thank ya. Cheers!!
Feeling your pain Matt!
Roger: It will all work out somehow. Cheers!!
Love, the gift that keeps on giving. Oddly enough, the more you give the more you get back. Ryno will do just fine with that for xmas.
Boy: Well said my friend. Cheers!!
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