Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Fresh Breath, Birthday Wishes, and The Wrath of God

As you know, last week I talked about Schmoop's Addiction to Ice Breakers gum. I mentioned that she was in a bad way (much like when Elizabeth Taylor runs out of mayonnaise) because we couldn't find the stuff around here noe moe.

In spite of the perjoratives and aspersions cast upon me for making it sound as though Schmoop was addicted to crack or something; last week, somebody came through for Schmoop, in a very chewy way...



Oh look what I found in the mail. Whatever could it be?





What's This? There's a note...It's from Kyra, The 108...








What on Earth did she send us? Holy Moly...Let the powerful Cool Ice Crystal addiction continue!!


Sixty-four fricking packs of Ice Breaker Cool Mint Gum. Chew on that Schmoop, and may this house now rest in peace.

Thanks Alot, Kyra...A family-sized delivery of Bagwine Shirts will soon be on their way!!


In keeping with the good vibes initiated by Kyra, it is time for yet, another Happy Birthday wish. There have been alot of those of late.


Up until all of these February B-Days started popping up, I never realized how popular late May/early June sex was.


Today's Happy Birthday goes out to Metalmom. She is celebrating her 46th Birthday. At last, someone older than me.


If you get a chance, click HERE and go give this vixen a big old Birthday smack on the ass.


And now, a new Bagwine Ruminations You Tube video...


New found Bagwine friend, Another Desert Rat sent an mp3 file to me on Sunday. It is an incredibly damn funny song solemn hymn.


I tried and tried, to find the name of the writer and performer, but without much luck. I did find a You Tube video that accompanied the song, but it really sucked.


So yesterday, as I was sitting here in swollen pain, I made my own video...a video that would capture the essence of this song...


A song that warns us all about the wrath of The Almighty should we stray from his path of rightgeousness.


Turn those speakers up, listen to it now, and thank me later...Cheers!!





Feel free to post this video masterpiece whenever and wherever you'd like...

46 comments:

Jay said...

That song is a great warning. God is pretty hardcore and he doesn't take any crap off anyone.

Glad to see you have a new supplier for Schmoop's Addiction. I was afraid she'd have to go to rehab. Rehab is for quitters. ;-)

the Book of Keira said...

Well, I can only hope that the gum won't keep her mouth permanently occupied and neglect you of your manly needs.

BAGWINE SHIRT! I can't wait to post slutty pictures of me in one!

Anonymous said...

hope your sore face is better soon. count yourself lucky that you didn't have teeth problems back in the dark ages :-)

http://nursemyra.wordpress.com/2008/02/12/thyroid-thatch/

Dana said...

I have many talents that DON'T include swallowing, one of which is searching the internet. It looks like John R. Butler is your guy.

Do you think one can REQUEST someone be turned to salt??

Schmoop said...

Jay: He is hardcore and vengeful indeed, but he loves you. What? Rehab is for quitters? I love that. Cheers!!

108: Very well put Kyra, thanks for the gum, and I can't wait to see you in your slutty Bagwine glory. Cheers!!

Schmoop said...

Nursemyra: Thanks, it's feeling much better so far today. I am afraid to look at the post you linked, but my morbid curiosity will check it out. Cheers!!

Dana: Thanks pal. I must check him out and see if he has produced any other musical gems.

Oh to be able to turn a person into salt...I don't know if I could use that power for good. Cheers!!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the wishes,Matty! I will be in the ASS-umed position all day!

Kyra rocks! I'm glad Schmoop is set for a while!

Schmoop said...

Metalmom: Assume the position and everyone line up behind me because I'm gonna be spanikn' ya for quite awhile.

Happy Birthday and Cheers Dear!!

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

and thus sayest the Lord is why thy face is pissing green puss

Schmoop said...

Bond: He is merely molding me into a pillar of rightgeousness, preparing me to spread his word.

And by the way, I'm pissing green HOLY pus. Cheers!!

Lynda said...

That was great of Kyra to supply Schmoops fix, eh? What a friend that is .... that was quite the video there, stern and effective enough to be thought provoking... have a great day and hope your mouth is healing :)))))

Schmoop said...

Lyn: It was a very generous gesture on Kyra's part.

Don't mess with God baby. Mouth is feeling much better today, want me to prove it to you ; )? Cheers Lyn!!

RW said...

I am still waiting on my shirt!

Schmoop said...

Roger: Put my Presidential Face on Mount Rushmore and it's all yours. Cheers!!

Anndi said...

Do you have any idea how many lists you are now on for the image googling you've been doing?

Hey, maybe you should try and bum a piece of gum from Schmoop.. it may be the cure for your abcess.

Schmoop said...

Anndi: Ha...I bet. Yesterday I googled Sodom, Gomorrah, Lot, Devil's Den, and Sheep Sex. Not good.

I thought maybe I would chew on some Salt Water Taffy, and tear my mouth completely to shreds. Cheers Anndi!!

Liz Hill said...

That song AND video kick ass--much like karm is doing to your facial area. ;-)

And Kyra is one super cool chick!

Sandee said...

You shouldn't do dope deals on the Internet Matt-Man. Big brother is always watching you know.

Love the vid. I feel so blessed now. At peace if you will. Like a hooker that just had a $2,000.00 day. Have a steller day. :)

Doc said...

Reminds me of a Led Zeppelin song.... Whole Lotta Gum... or something like that.

Schmoop said...

TB: I was amused by my video but I am jealous that I didn't write the damn song. It is a riot. Cheers!!

Sandee: I worked as a hooker once, and had a $2,000.00 day. Wait that was a $2,000.00 year. Cheers!!

Doc: Whole Lotta Gum? Has possibilites. Cheers Doc!!

desert rat said...

Matt-Man, thanks for blaming that shit on me, I mean sharing the glory of your fabulous visual tableau. Hope the prayerful meditation soothes the wrath of the Almighty and your face stops oozing soon. Amen. (Wait, I think I smell ozone.)

So glad Schmoop found a source, Dude. Withdrawal is not for sissies.

Happy Birthday to Metalmom!

Cheers, dear!

Odat said...

Yah for Schmoop!!!!

LOL I've heard that song before....
I just didn't have the nerve to post it tho.....You crackpot!

Peace

Schmoop said...

Desert Rat: Blame You? Au Contraire...You providing me with that song made you my de facto muse for yet another work of Pop Culture Genius. Bless You. Cheers!!

Schmoop said...

Odat: I had never heard that song. It felt so...me. Schmoop is in mandible Heaven.

From one crackpot to another, Cheers!!

Schmoop said...

Desert Rat: Okay...I can tell that she is feeling more like herself. Cheers!!

Mo and The Purries said...

Schmoop's jaw muscles will be super-sized by this! She may just have to enter the Oral Olympics!

(glad her addiction is being fueled!)

Schmoop said...

Mo: Wow...You just made me hot Mo. Is that good, or confusing? Cheers!!

Leighann said...

I don't have a damn thing to say today, howdoyalikethat?

Schmoop said...

Leighann: Doesn't matter if you say nothing or you make a six paragraph comment...either way...You Rock My World. Cheers!!

Leighann said...

And you mine lovah!

Just don't tell Schmoop, she'll kick my ass!

Cinnamon Girl said...

There are an awful lot of us having B days. It's a good thing. Aquarians rock. How is the face, oh putrid one? Getting better still via large quantities of ETOH?


Like that? It's so RR of me to call it that :P

Schmoop said...

Starr: Aquarians do rock and my mug is feeling pretty damn good today, but the brain must be dead because I'm not picking up on your ETOH thing...Cheers!!

crpitt said...

I am sorry your willy just didn't cut it this time :(

Try Harder :)

Schmoop said...

Claire: Uh Huh...I saw that and lodged an offical conspiracy complaint. Cheers, and tell Willy I said "Hey"!!

Lex Valentine said...

LMAO on the song. Classic. WOOT! on the package. Nothing like feeding an addiction...

Schmoop said...

Winter: HA...Thanks. Nothing like feeding an addiction...Sometimes it can be quite fun. Cheers!!

Lee Ann aka Dixie said...

I've been meaning to ask... does the gum squirt out juicy liquid? ;-)

Kyra is a doll, isn't she?

Schmoop said...

Dixie: No this gum doesn't squirt, so it's not quite as sexy as some gums that do.

Yep, Kyra is a doll, and one just can't help to feel the urge to blow her up. Cheers!!

Jahooni said...

Do we really have to say Happy Birthday to everyone?
If so, this is my
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO EVERYONE... SONG... cha cha cha

Okay what was the topic again? ;-)
Cheers!

Schmoop said...

Jahooni: I just do it because I care too much. Cheers!!

Cheesy said...

MattM~~ I believe that is John R. Butler /album "Surprise"???

Schmoop said...

Cheesy: Dana mentioned him as well. I tried to email him yesterday but his email link wasn't working. He lives somewhere down on the Florida Coast. Thanks and Cheers!!

katherine. said...

I'm not sure what aquarians do....but that little ditty is a riot...

so Schmoop is set for the next week?

Schmoop said...

Kat: Ha...I thought you would like it. And you my dear, best take heed. Yeah, she may be set fo ra few days. Cheers!!

katherine. said...

just played it for my Mama and sister....they were laughing....but they wanted to know who you are.....

Schmoop said...

Kat: HA...They want me don't they? Cheers!!