Wow…I woke up late today. I slept until 7:30...For me, that is pretty damn late. I haven’t slept this late since the time I had stayed up all night playing strip poker with two hot former Soviet KGB ladies.
It was great. We got all nekkid and oiled up after the game, and had steamy, vodka fueled sex, all the while making collective farm noises. Rock my world Comrade.
But anyway…I guess I slept so late this time because yesterday, my swollen face had almost healed completely.
I could eat, drink, and smoke without pain. We listened to music, experienced a little human touch, and just breathed in the joy of life.
I was on sensory overload, and I loved it. It is so nice to feel human once again.
My post will be brief as I have to go over to
Then, I must come home and construct a semi-homemade pizza for tonight’s repast. I am such a giver aren’t I?
So let’s get right to it worshippers…Bow your heads and pray.
Lord, please forgive Jane Fonda for using the C-Word, and also, remind Jane how lucky she is that she no longer has to have three way sex with Ted Turner and his ego.
Father, while he tours Africa, let George Dubya know this...
Even though tomorrow is Presidents’ Day that doesn’t give him the right to deflower the nubile 13 year old daughter of the King of the Oomgulu Tribe.
Almighty Bling Dawg, please make NASCAR fans refrain public displays of incest and tobacco spit swapping at today’s Daytona 500.
To all of this we ask, Lord Hear Our Prayer.
Amen, and Amen…
Today’s Sunday Serenade is in honor of the Lord restoring my senses, and letting me once again experience the thrill of sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell.
My fellow Church Disservice participants, enjoy this tune from 1982 performed by XTC…
Cheers!!
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40 comments:
Feeling better are you? There is no telling what may happen now. Personally, I think the swollen jaw was nothing more than a little nudge to get you up and running on the lent track!
Dana: Yes. I agree, The Lord is weighing me down with burdens such as the swelling, in order to mold me into his corporeal instrument of salvation. Cheers Dana!!
Admit it--you are all bright and bubbly cause you got you some!
And as for the Daytona 500---GO JIMMIE!!
Glad your feeling better. That was one of the best prayers I have heard in a long time. Amen.
TB: I get some everyday. It just so happened that this time it was with an another person. Cheers!!
Karen: Thanks and Bless You. I am glad I could get your Sunday started off on a spiritual note. Cheers!!
XTC?! Wow. Another reason to slobber loving kisses all over you.
Or not.
Songbird: Ha...I have always liked them quite a bit. Slobber and kiss all over me, it's a celebration. Cheers Dear!!
Nothing says, "Redneck!" quite like decoratively shaved back hair.
Thank you for that disturbing picture that will undoubtably follow me around all day now.
Jeff: Sorry, but don't think of it as "disturning"...Think of it as a hairy slice of Americana. Cheers!!
Jesus doing knock knock jokes .. pass the Windex, you did it again. May all that knocking, opening, asking and getting (political promise?) keep your jaw deflated and other anatomical parts in the state you desire.
OMG and man who admires the genius that is Andy Partridge! Holy shit, most people look blank when I mention XTC!
Or they think I mean the drug. How sad is that shit :P
Glad your feeling better! Have fun with Ryno =)
Jamie: Thanks and sorry for the mess. Thank you for the kind bodily wishes. Cheers Jamie!!
Jay: Yeah I think that's it. Mmmmmm, Russian tennis players. I hope you charged the net and smashed it home. Cheers!!
Starr: Even prior to your comment I told Schmoop that I knew you would probably like this selection...I think we are astral twins. Rock on XTC, and Cheers Starr!!
Sanni: Feel much better, thanks. I talked to Ryno for a few this morning and will be spending the "Presidents' Day No School Day" with him tomorrow. Cheers to you and your Hamster!!
"The house I use to own" echo's a statement I have made more than once, usually spiting venom follows after its utterance!
Roger: Ha...I feel your pain. We get along half way decently now, so my days of venom spitting are over. Cheers!!
Matt-Man Said:"Almighty Bling Dawg, please make NASCAR fans refrain public displays of incest and tobacco spit swapping at today’s Daytona 500."
Come on Matt-Man! Take these away and all you have is cars going around a circle, that's not entertainment!
Al: While mostly true, you would still have the possibility of a car wreck and the ensuing fiery inferno of tranny fluid and human flesh. Cheers!!
Glad to hear your face is better...but not glad to see that hairy back picture....ewwwwwww.
Peace
Odat: Thanks...I find the picture to be a tribute to the common man. So Very Real...So Very American. Cheers!!
There are snakes who leap up in the air all melodramatically and spit venom into the faces of their rivals. I have oft wondered, though, if this isn't all just a misunderstanding that if they do that as some sort of mating ritual. Granted, it's a daeadly one but they are snakes and not so smart and probably unawares.
Unless these venom spitting snakes are actually necropheliacs and they like to kill their lovers before having some sex with them. If this is the case then I'm sort of impressed.
I'd like to see snakes shake things up a bit. I think they are getting a little boring. I want to see them start wearing clothing and maybe acting a shade more bizarre. If you ask me, they have gotten too predictable and this bugs me.
Any way.
108: Marlin Perkins' spirit told me to tell you "Hi".
I was born in the Year of the Snake. Snakes are cool, in spite of their nefarious temptation skills. Cheers!!
And the congregation shouted "Amen! Pass the vodka!" no wait a minute, that was what we shouted last night....
Nice picture, now I keep imagining there is hair on everything here in my office. Where did I put that damn Dust Buster?
I always thought it was so nice that our local school district scheduled parent-teacher conferences after the Daytona 500, that way our parents could wear their new NASCAR t-shirts, rather than the usual, stained and ripped Coors t-Shirts to conferences.
Sigh, I miss those days of trying to come up with 50 ways to politely tell the parents of my students "You really ought not to have reproduced---REALLY"
No wait...it is Sunday, which makes it a bigger sin to tell a lie---I am so damn glad I don't have to relive those days that I think I will have a double martini. Amen.
Diva: Pax Vobiscum. It's good to know that the parents took the time to tidy up prior to meeting you. What says, "concern of a parent" better than a T-Shirt showing fast cars and half-nekkid NASCAR Women?
Oh, if we only could keep certain couples from procreating...I would have started with George and Barbara Bush.
Enjoy the martini, and Cheers!!
"Hallowed Be Thy Name"
"Matt Man In The Highest"
I'm a true Catholic, really I was!
I DID four years of Nuns in school.
Convinced my Mom to come to her senses,and let me out.
Little bro wasn't as tough, he had to do LIFE. 12 yrs.
Micky: Good for you...I was the last of nine of a Catholic family, I was the only one who did NO time in Catholic School. High Five. Cheers!!
We were working on the whole sleeping in thing this morning too, but the cats had another agenda.
I can't really blame them because we're having a gorgeous spring-like day and they wanted out on the balcony. I foresee naps in all our futures today.
Travis: I am surprised that Corky didn't freak out and wake me up at 6. She usually goes bat shit crazy if I am not up by 4:45. Enjoy the Day Trav. Cheers!!
Way High!
Micky: Damn Straight my good man. Whatever that means. Cheers!!
Yup, yup, yup today was the beginning ... Daytona bay-beeeee....
And that back thing is just gross... ewwwwwwwwwww....
GO Jr.
SMOOCHES~
Whew, I just finished a rough week of my own too.
Lots of catching up and God bless Jane Fonda. She's always been an inspiration to me.
Glad you're feeling better.
Glad you're feeling a bit better.
I watched "the big race" and thank baby Jeebus I did NOT see that fat hairy shaved guy there. But, damn he would NOT sit down, he kept jumpin' in front of the freakin' big screen TV and we couldn't hear 'ole DW screamin' "Boogiedy Boogiedy Boogiedy". *sigh* We try to get Dad to put a shirt on, but he just won't listen! :(
I like fast things, so I watched the race. Well, the latter half anyway. Since it was the 50th running I half expected to hear Davey Allison mentioned a few times. But no, his dad and unk were on cuz they got in a huge ass fight on the track during the race one year before I was born. (Okay, maybe I was already born at the time. LOL) The hairy back thing...o h shit, I'm gonna have nightmares now. That is the grossest thing I've ever seen.
Glad the face is better Matt!
You gotta use Dear God at sometime. SUCH a dead on song ;0
Mama: Yes. Yes I did. Cheers!!
Dixie: I hope you enjoyed the race. Cheers!!
Dirkstar: Hope you are back on your feet for awhile as well. Cheers!
CrAzY: Tell Mr. CrAzY that he needs to wear a shirt. If not for himself...do it for the children. Cheers!!
Winter: Sorry about the hairy back sight. I was using it as a warning to first time race viewers. Cheers!!
Starr: I luuuuv da song as well. Cheers!!
Can I get an AY-MEN???
Thank you my brothah's and sistah's.
Matt - hope the face is still better (please forgive me Lawd for being behind on my reading of the scriptures of Bagwine, and know that my heart - and liver - are always with thee.)
SMOOCH.
Sunday was the first time in my entire life I paid attention to NASCAR....
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