I am working on a few different things for Thursday and Friday, but had nothing ready for today.So I figured, what the hell…
I will go ahead and answer a few questions that I saw others answering on posts yesterday.
It’s from a Blog Theme called TMI Tuesday.
But seriously, can there be any day that one can get too much Matt-Man information?
Of course not, so here goes…
1. Did you have to pay or did you get money back?
I get money back. I filed yesterday and am getting a few hundred back. I also attached a note (not in my name, of course) to my form that read as follows:
Dear Sir/Madam and Soulless Revenue Agent,
I have prepared this return for Matt-Man. He likes you guys, but I think you are all a gaggle of sadistic, heartless bastards. Wanna audit me? I got your audit right here, you money grubbin’ shit bags.
Sincerely,
Leelee
Leelee's Thoughts and Meanderings
2. What was your biggest financial mistake?
My purchase of an engagement ring and wedding band in 1987. Initially, they cost approximately $1,500.00 for the both. Considering the recipient of said rings has the house now, those rings actually cost me about $125,000.
3. Are you a screamer?
I can be, if the sex is really good or if the jealous, steroid-fueled, weightlifter husband of the wife that I am tea bagging walks in on us.
4. What part of your body, other than your genitals, do you love to have touched?
I would have to say that since I enjoy picking my nose it would have to be my nostrils. I guess the feel of the gelatinous mucous and the cilia turns me on. It feels as though I am running my fingertips through a moist feather duster.
What part of a partner's body, other than their genitals, do you love to touch?
See Number 4.
5. What commercial catch phrase best describes your life?
There’s a new commercial for the weed killer Round-Up that utilizes the phrase, “Pump and Go.” That fits me well.
Bonus (as in optional): What was the last thing you took without permission?
The virginity of my first sweetheart, Molly Meyer. She was smokin’ hot, passed out, and 14. Oh, I’m kidding you morons…she was 16.
What was the last thing taken from you without your permission?
No one takes anything from me without my permission, because I’m Matt-Man, Bitch!!
Have a Helluva Hump Day All. See ya tomorrow for Half-Nekkid Thursday.
Cheers!!
61 comments:
What??? Trying to sneak posts in during the middle of the night so that I can't be first anymore?? Matt, you *know* I don't like sloppy seconds ... well, unless it's been a while since I had sex ... or ...
Enough of that! Love your TMI Tuesday answers. Now get your finger out of my nose!
Wow, if this is your Tuesday post, what are your weekend posts like? Hmmm.
Damn Matt, did you at least get a reach around on that ring?
They'll love that letter at the IRS. They're known for their sense of humor. ;-)
Dana: Dear, if I don't post on the nights after I work, my posts won't be up until late in the morning. I know how you like me to be "up" at the crack of dawn. Cheers!!
Scarlett: They are full of nudity, offensiveness, and debauchery. You Like? Thanks for stopping. Rowwr. Cheers!!
Starr: I got Ryno out of the deal. I guess that's not a bad deal. Cheers!!
Jay: They are a wacky, fun-loving bunch. I'm sure Lee will appreciate it too. Cheers!!
Pump and go. Hmm...does it kill weeds too? ;)
I got audited about four years ago. The pencil pushers found out that they owed me about two grand. It was a beautiful day!
this came up on my Prime Time!
but WHAT THE F**K, you are now doing those me-me things?!
one pass. ;)~
You took nothing from the house? I mean she didn't have to take out a loan to see that you got 1/2 of it's then current market value?
Happy Hump day. For me it's Trpashoot Day, be still my heart :)
Hammer: It claims to. In my case I hope it kills STDs as well. Cheers!!
Jeff: Ah the tables were turned, leaving you in the black and the IRS with a red face. Cheers!!
Jahooni: I only do them when I am flat out empty in my mind. Cheers!!
Lu: Nope. Maybe I am sorry that I brought this up. Happy Trapshoot Day. Cheers!!
Great answers Matt! I thought them to be pretty gross, and funny! ;-) Have a Great day!
Kimmie
#2 is the mistake that keeps on giving isnt it?
May I just say
LMAO
Damn matty it's a fine form ye be showin' these days ;-)
Many a man has made that same financial mistake.
Have a good hump!
Kimmie: Thanks. Not bad for an off day. Cheers Kimmie!!
Sparky: Isn't it though. I am over it now...No...really. Cheers!!
TB: Ha. Well thanks. I am just lookin' forward to gettin' Half Nekkid with ya tomorrow. Cheers!!
Micky: Yes they have Mick, and thanks, I had a good one last night on Hump Day Eve. Cheers!!
two rings....$1,500.00
years of anguish...$125,000.00
One son....pricelss
Bond: True enough, but a little cash is always nice as well. Cheers Vin!!
You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you CAN'T pick your friend's nose!!!
Peace
Odat: That is true in most cases, but my friends and I are very close. Cheers!!
Pump and Go hahaha thats the new line for today, thanks!!
Roger: Don't thank me; thank those filthy minded herbicide ad execs. Cheers!!
Only $125K? If you lived in CA she woulda taken ya for a mill... So be glad you got taken in OH. And I think getting your mini-Matt out of the deal was real steal!
Winter: I wonder how much I could get if I sold Mini-Matt. He is pretty damn cute. Cheers!!
Pump and Go - my kind of man!
Ladyjaye: Sometimes two people just need sex, and a hot, fulfilling business-like approach works well for both parties. Cheers!!
I learned so much more about you from reading this...er...wait, no I didn't...
Songbird: How could you not? I am an open book...or perhaps, more like an open issue of National Lampoon. Cheers!!
Now I'm picturing you with a passed out sixteen year old, a penis pump, and your finger up her nose. Did I get the wrong message?
Knight: Ha. You just have given me an idea for a future Half-Nekkid Thursday picture. Thanks. Cheers!!
"No one takes anything from me without my permission, because I’m Matt-Man, Bitch!!"
I call bullshit..
2 words~~~~
Conan O'Brien
Cheesy: I was going to mention that. And by the way, I have emailed them twice and have gotten nothing back from them. Bastards. Cheers!!
you are sleeping with Maria Schiver?
you are sleeping with Maria Schiver?
Kat: Ha. It took me a second to get that. I'm going to "Pump, you up!!" Cheers!!
Kat: Ha. It took me a second to get that. I'm going to "Pump, you up!!" Cheers!!
"No one takes anything from me without my permission"
...well...except Conan apparently.
Funny stuff as always!
VE: I know, I know...And the shit hasn't returned my messages. Thanks and Cheers funny man!!
"Pump and Go"? I'll start calling you Sir Lastalot!
Metal: Hahahaha. I have actually been called that before. How the hell did you know? Cheers!!
If you went anywhere near my nose at the moment, you would be very wet and sticky.
Yep my sinuses are irritated :)
Claire: I feel your pain.
We have a huge tree outside of our window, and when it buds, our sinuses plugged up tighter than Rosie O'DOnnell's colon after a trip to the All-You-Can-Eat Buffet. Cheers!!
$125,000? That wouldn't get you much in California. Just saying. So, your woman actually lets you pick her nose. That's not the answer I thought you were going to give. Great job Matt-Man. You are one twisted puppy and I really like that about you. Have a great day. :)
Sandee: Thanks and 125K will get you one really nice house in Ohio. You see, unlike in California, we have common sense. ; ) Cheers!!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA....
*wipes tears*
Well I'm not about to put it on my website, but ...
1. A few hundred
2. Signing a quite claim trusting a soon to be ex to give me my share of house sale.
3. Giggler
4. Back of neck
5. You've Come a Long Way Baby
Bonus #1 Steak. His dinner turned out better than mine.
Bonus #2 Nada. Either I give it to you willingly or kill you hanging on to it take your pick.
OMG,,thank god leelee is NOT my real name...oh wait....it is...well to my friends it is. I'm pretty sure I don't have any friends at the IRS...oh for sure I don't now..
shit
Angell: If I ever get my stand-up act going again, I am taking you on tour to be my laugh track. Cheers!!
Jamie: A giggler, eh? I've encountered many of those. It has given me a complex. Cheers!!
Leelee: You my dear, are soooo screwed. Cheers!!
Don't know if you watch it or not, Boston Legal? Last night during a scene in a bar, the piano player was playing Tom Lehrer's Who's Next; cool.
Lu: Damn, I love that song. And so does my kid. He sings it well. Cheers!!
From now on, when ever I see RoundUp's Pump & Go commercial, I will think of you.
that's the best
"...nothing ready for today"
post it's ever been my pleasure to read
your comic wit never disappoints
cheers, mattt-man!
Mo: Isn't it cool how I lodge myself into people's minds? Cheers!!
Dice: Hey Dude. Thanks alot. Cheers to you Dice-Man!!
Now that last question was a belt level fast ball right down the middle of the plate with no movement. What a set up for a catch phrase!
Travis: And I just love those kind of pitches. Cheers Travis!!
Thanks for making my hump day complete. Matt, that'll teach you for buying rings...
Cheers!
Jillie: Silly me. Cheers Jillie!!
My dear Matt-Man,
I have now learned more about you than I wanted to know.
Happy nose pickin’, Sir.
Ahhh..to be 16 and Molly.
Nick: I like to lay t all out there. Cheers Nick!!
GB: Oh if only there had really been one. Cheers GB!!
Post a Comment