Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Just Because You've Left, Doesn't Mean You're Gone

Cute picture, eh?

Ryno’s mom came across this while she was cleaning out some drawers, at what used to be my house.

It’s a picture of Ryno and I circa 1996.


He would have been somewhere between 1 and 2 years old and I was about 31 or so.

The little man is zonked out in that picture, and I…well, I think I’m only pretending to be zonked out.

You see, that picture was taken at the then In-Laws house.


So, in order to avoid all of the ever present familial drama, I only acted as though I was asleep.

I can even detect a bit of smile and/or smirk on my mug. I am relaxed, and my son is in a blissful pseudo-coma.

A quiet serenity and peace abound in that photo.

It wasn’t always like that. After seven years into a rocky marriage, Ryno was born. After 2 years or so of a Post-Natal armistice, it was back to the ugliness.

Finally, in 2000, as his mom and I argued once again, our son came out of his room crying his big, brown six year old eyes out and begged us to stop fighting.

I knew it was time for me to go. And so, I did.

His mom and I aren’t awful people by any means, unfortunately, for whatever reason, we brought out the worst in each other.

It wasn’t fair to either of us, and it certainly wasn’t fair to a six year old boy who just wanted to grow up happy and secure.

That was eight years ago, and for three years or so, even though I live just minutes away, it was hard on all of us.

But the last few years have been pretty good. Ryno and I are best buddies once again, and his mom and I get along relatively well.

I have never asked for anything out of the house I mentioned, because Ryno likes it there. That’s his home.

Along with the house, I have thrown away almost all of my animosity.

Almost all.

Knowing that I have a date with an IRS 1040 Form today, it’s fine that she has the house, but c'mon...


Throw me a bone and let me use the sweet, little shit as a deduction.

But no worries, life’s good and bad even out in all different ways.

Some say the best revenge is living well. That’s not bad, but I have an axiom that is even better.

You see, Ryno is nearly exactly like me in every way, shape, and manner.

He looks like me. He talks like me. He has the identical senses of charm, sarcasm, and humor. He’s Mini-Matt.

Not a day goes by that both his mom and Grandma don’t shake their heads and say, “Ryan, you are just like your Father.”

Which leads me to my axiom…

You can take the house away from the Matt-Man, but you can’t take the Matt-Man away from the house.

And THAT my friends, is the best revenge of all.

Happy Tax Day!!

Cheers!!

77 comments:

Jeff B said...

Sweet revenge!

"He's Mini-Matt" I like that.

Matt-Man said...

Jeff: Yes he is. Revenge is mine saith the Matt-Man!! Cheers Jeff!!

Kimmie said...

Well...one day you rock my world and the next you melt my heart. You are a puzzle that I will never be able to put together in my head. God love your big warm heart! The things you speak of is just "stuff" Matty. Your son, on the other hand...is priceless...always remember that my friend. Material things come and go, but Family is Forever! :-)
Hugs to you,
Kimmie

Kimmie said...

I forgot to tell you that I love that photo and your little guy looks precious in your arms. :-) Hugs Ya'! K~

Winter said...

Karma is such a bitch and a half. But damn she is amusing when she dishes out revenge! My kid is a mini-Winter who displays no sign of being the sperm donor's child. Ok, mini is a stretch since she's 5 inches taller than me.

Desert Songbird said...

I love that photo of you and Ryno. What a precious memory.

That's the thing about swimming in the gene pool - you never know what's gonna come out of it.

Kila said...

LOL, I love it (how you are still there through him...).

I know too well about the fighting, etc. Every day, I wonder if I'm doing more harm than good by keeping this marriage together "for the kids' sake", ugh. I think you made the right choice.

And what a precious photo :)

Ginormous Boobs said...

Oh my, that means there are two of you.

Lu' said...

It is a cute photo. Who doesn't love a sleeping baby. I detected the smirk as well. Could just be you were dreaming of a clandestine affair with a lovely willing do your bidding. Picked up the taxes last night. Yep I could do them my self but I don't want to.

Turnbaby said...

Does he go around saying "I'm Mini Matt-Man, bitches'?

Smooch

Matt-Man said...

Kimmie: I am so enigmatic. Aren't I? HA. Thanks Kimmie and Cheers!!

Winter: So you constantly live with a long Winter? Cheers!!

Songbird: Well, in this case another Matt-Man came out. Is that good or bad? Cheers!!

Matt-Man said...

Kila: Thanks. And one never knows, but in my case I think I did. Cheers!!

GB: WHich is a perfect thing because in your photo there are certainly two of you. ; ) Cheers!!

Lu: It is cute. I'll do my taxes this morning. Should only take a few minutes. After all, there is no house. Cheers!!

Matt-Man said...

TB: Ha. If he does, and I catch him doing that, he's a dead man. Cheers!!

Dana said...

He looks like me. He talks like me. He has the identical senses of charm, sarcasm, and humor. He’s Mini-Matt.

I take great comfort in knowing that when the blogging leaves Matt-Man, Ryno-Mann will be there to pick up the slack!

Great pic!!

Matt-Man said...

Dana: His mom and I grudgingly allowed him to set up a My Space page. I can tell already that the boy has fantastic blog potential. Cheers Dana!!

Odat said...

Awwww...I wonder if you send that pic in with your taxes....ya think the IRS has a heart??? Nah....forget it.
That is one precious picture Matt....
I'm glad you and Ryno are "best buddies"!
Peace

leelee said...

Great photo!! That kid is awfully cute!

Bottom line is Ryno..and I applaud you for doing the right thing..leaving was right..and being minutes away from him is right..and playing grownup and you and his Mom "getting along" is right...

Looks like you've got it working out..and that doesn't suprise me...

eff the taxes, the other stuff is more important anyway!

HUGS!!

Matt-Man said...

Odat: Yeah, they are known for their big heart. Cheers Odat!!

Leelee: Thanks. And you're right, screw the IRS; I 'm blowin' em off. Cheers Lovely One!!

ladyjaye82 said...

So does this mean in like 5-10 years he's going to start his own blog so he can have a massive following of women as well? ;-)

Matt-Man said...

Ladyjaye: The blog aside, according to him he is already there. He says to me often, "Dad, chicks dig me." Cheers!!

Roger said...

FOC is not your friend. At least FOC has never been my friend!

Mr. Fabulous said...

So...after you are gone...there will be another to take your place?

*shudder*

Matt-Man said...

Roger: FOC? What the FOC are you talking about? Cheers!!

Mr. Fab: Isn't life great? Cheers!!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...in the immortal words of one Kurt Vonnegut: "...and so it goes..."...I, too, left a house (that I built) in order to move on, but the kids grew up there, as was intended, so all is good.

Matt-Man said...

Phfrankie: It all works out, doesn't it. Here's to you AND to Vonnegut...Cheers!!

Angell said...

Adorable photo Matt.

As for him being just like you, didn't the ex realize that it was a distinct possibility when she got pregnant?

Matt-Man said...

Angell: Ha. Maybe we were drunk when the egg got Matt-i-Cized and she wasn't thinking about that. Cheers!!

Leighann said...

I dig this post ;)

That is all.

Cheesy said...

I sit here with a blissful grin on my face...I applaud you and the ex for being true "growed ups".

Your son with be the rich one in the end!

Matt-Man said...

Leighann: I rogered that...Over and Out. Cheers!!

Cheesy: Why thanks Cheesy. Yes he will. Cheers Dear!!

Bond said...

Great photo Matt...but am i the only one to see the incredible resemblance between that picture of you and Ryno and the one of you lying on the couch with the bottle of WIR in your hand?

You are holding both of them with the same love and tenderness...

Sassy Mama Bear said...

Yeah my boys are just like their dad too, but I still love them, oh yeah I love him too.
Cute photo, I have ones just like that of Allen with all the kids.

Your revenge = something she can't get rid of. You win!

hello haha narf said...

anyone can be a father, but it sounds as though you are a good dad.

i love that you are able to be civil to his mother and that you live close to him. way cool that he looks and acts so much like you!

Matt-Man said...

Bond: Ha. I never noticed that. Good observation. Cheers Vinny!!

Sassy: Revenge is a dish best served cold, but in this case, it is a dish served cute. Cheers!!

Matt-Man said...

Hello: Thanks for stopping. He is adorable. I hope you had a good time, in KY. Cheers!!

The Absurdist said...

Very cute pic!

All my divorced friends take turns every other year taking the kid deduction. Is she not letting you do that?

Jay said...

So when does Ryno-Man start blogging. I think we need to hear from him too. ;-)

Matt-Man said...

Abs: I have actually never made any bones about it. I am such a giver. Cheers!!

Jay: I don't think it will be too long from now. And let me tell you, the boy is a hoot. Cheers!!

jennifer said...

The sadness in the beginning of your post had me longing to hear about Nun-shagging Priests. Sounds like life at times has been less like a bed of roses and more like the fertilizer and rose attacking mites that comes with the bed.

BUT (and isn't there always a big but) You have RHYNO! And wouldn't we all walk through Hell for our kids? Sounds like you already did.

The revenge was wonderful - you couldn't have planned it better yourself. Vengance is mine says the Lord, and He knew from the get go he would be your mini Matt!

If you really want to chap her hide, forgive her.

Jennifer

Matt-Man said...

Jennifer: It wasn't in any way all her fault, and yes I have forgiven her long ago. We get along pretty well now.

But, the constant reminder of me through Ryno is kinda sweeeet. By the way, you make Romans 12-19 sound so hot!!

Cheers Jennifer!!

Starrlight said...

I can so relate! Kidlet is the spitting image of her dad. Seriously we could tell looking at the ultra sound picture who she would look like. Her dad and a sea monkey. I was merely the attractive carrying case.

Same holds true today. She looks like a young version of her dad (he used to have a ponytail before he went all corporate) in drag.

And then...then the sweet thang opens up her mouth and OUT I COME!

Heh =)

Matt-Man said...

Starr: Ha. Nice Sea Monkey description. As long as she has your words and looks like him (not that I have seen him) I am sure it's quite the good trade-off. Cheers Starr!!

Starrlight said...

Oh yeah it worked out fine. Her dad is a cutie. Not the man for me but a cute one none the less. And she got his serial killer blue eyeballs that freak out the masses. Handy for school bullies. She can look craaayzaaay.

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

Mini-Matt? I just broke out singing, "Just the Two of Us" - Austin Powers style. Bwahahahahahaha. Okay, I get your point here. Sometimes revenge is just in order and this is a perfect example. Good for you Matt-Man. Have a great tax day too. :)

Matt-Man said...

Starr: Hahaha...Good for her, and I am sure she will also grow-up with a most fine taste in music. Cheers!!

Sandee: I like my revenge because it is not the type that eats at one's soul. It's cute!! Cheers Sandee!!

VE said...

Is mini-matt privy to all the great matt-man materials here? Can't wait for the day he hacks the old man's blog for fun and proceeds to play some fun tricks on the trickster! Give me his email address, I've got some tips for him. Ha ha ha

Matt-Man said...

VE: No!! He has never seen my blog. He can read it in five years when he turns 18. Man, you wanna be his creepy uncle dontcha? Cheers!!

Jahooni said...

love the pic. and i knew you weren't asleep. we all have taken those "pretend" pics.

this post made me feel warm inside. you have a mini-matt and i have a mini-jahooni ;)~ cheers to us!

Matt-Man said...

Jahooni: Cheers to both of us indeed. Thanks and have a lovely day adorable one. Cheers!!

The Teamster said...

hey matt....i could write a whole story on father and son relationships....I fought for and won custody of my two boys when they were 6 and 8...although a stressful time, what a great time in my life...the time with kids...

in your situation, you and your son won't remember child support, tax deductions, fighting, moving..etc....you'll remember the time together...

nice post and enjoy the great times with your boys..

mine are 27 and 25 now and are my best friends/golfing buddies/hanging out buddies.....

Matt-Man said...

Teamster: Good for you, and yes, we don't think about any of those things. We are father and son first, and buddies second. Cheers!!

Anonymous said...

Did you know zombies can't run?

Matt-Man said...

Ha...You're a mess Hair Care. Call me after Tax Season, moron. Cheers!!

I Smile 2 Much said...

Awwww..... that pic is realllllllly cute. You & your mini*matt. For reals.
And I cant even give ya hard time about deductions or anything; cause this here post is making me all sappy & weepy ; )
You sweet revenger, you! ; )

Matt-Man said...

Smile: I am the Sweet Revenger, aren't I? Cheers Bay-Bay!!

The Offended Blogger said...

Awww... a Mini-Matt sounds awfully cute.

Hey, you can adopt me and claim me as a deduction. I'm relatively low maintanence! :)

Dice Mardell said...

Ya did the right thing. Hard as it had to have been, it is what YOU make it. It sounds like you are taking the path of least resistance to which your son will greatly benefit. why, Why, WHY make it any more difficult for him than it already is. It's no day in the park for the adults either; I know - I just went through it.
Good on ya!

Claire said...

The photo is lovely and so is the post in a Matt-Man kind of way :)

Matt-Man said...

Offended: Remind me before the year is out. I sent mine in, in the just the nick of time today. Cheers!!

Dice: Thanks for stopping, and yeah I think I did the right thing. And he is a happy young man. Cheers!!

Claire: Ha. Thanks...I think. Cheers Claire!!

crazy working mom said...

I love this softer side of you, my dear. :) Ryno seems to bring that out in you doesn't he???

Our two little deductions kept us from having to pay in this year. Whew!

Matt-Man said...

CrAzY: Thanks. And next year will be even better for you guys!! Cheers Tish!!

Trukindog said...

Heh heh revenge is best served clone.

Matt-Man said...

Trukin': Ha. Very Good. Cheers!!

Hammer said...

That is sweet. Can't wait till he starts blogging :)

Matt-Man said...

Hammer: It should be quite the hoot. Cheers Hammer!!

Marilyn said...

My ex keeps trying to use Jasmine as a deduction... I hate divorce. Not that I'd want to still be married to him...

The Boy said...

Oh very sweet.

Matt-Man said...

Marilyn: Ha. There's a silver lining in every cloud. Cheers!!

Boy: Good to see you Boy. Hope all is well. Cheers!!

Starrlight said...

The ex and I take turns on the deduction. And for the record, men are not the only ones that financially get screwed. Not all ex wives walk away with wads of cash. I sure as hell didn't. Just tossing that out on the see of comments :P

Matt-Man said...

Starr: I know that both parties can get screwed. I really have no problem with her taking him as a deduction.

You being a fellow Aquarian, know that money isn't something I probably think about too much. ; )~ Cheers Starr!!

Matt-Man said...

Starr: By the way, you were Comment #69. Rowwwrrrr. Cheers!!

Starrlight said...

Well of course I was. It took my pervert ex boyfriend to point out my birthday and it's meaning too me.

2-8-69. Yeah

Oh and I hear you on the money. I never gave a crap because money may smooth somethings over but in the end it is just not that big of a deal. Certainly not worth ruining any chance of decent relationship with the kidlets dad. For him money means A LOT. Scottish you know.

katherine. said...

Mateo...that is an awfully sweet picture...

I've been divorced...oh...about 20 years now...but I remember the first years of crossing swords. It wasn't easy on our daughter to say the least.

While I always had head of household...I never got my ex to come over and mop the floor and fix things. No wonder she is nice to you now....

Matt-Man said...

Kat: Thanks. I really like that picture. Yes, Ryno and I, help out his mom with all of the upkeep of the place.

She apprecites it, but even if she didn't, I would still do those things. Cheers Kat!!

Starrlight said...

The Pope claps like Paula Abdul. That is all.

Travis said...

Ahhhhh! Now that's good!

Matt-Man said...

Starr: Ha. That's odd because she's Jewish. Cheers!!

Travis: Why thank ya Trav. Cheers!!