Bi-Carbonated Dreams

It’s not going to be a good day here in Bagwine, Ohio.

I did not sleep well at all.

I mean, I was pretty comfortable, but I kept tossing and turning due to a strange dream.

I dreamed that I was at some type of huge family gathering. Everybody was there.

Even Mom and Dad were there and let me tell you, they look pretty damn good for a couple of dead people.

Anyway, several of the younger ones got quite angry with me because I tripped over my niece’s plastic guitar.

They kept saying, “He broke it!! He Broke it!!”

I didn’t break it; there wasn’t even a mark on it. So, I got into a fist fight with my niece and a half dozen other Children of the Corn.

I won, but I didn’t get a chance to celebrate, because the dream shifted gears.

I began having a discussion with an ex sister-in-law, about Catholic doctrine, and sex. The ex SIL kept calling herself, Eva Marie, but that’s not her name.

Soon after, I am sitting next to two writers from the Letterman Show. One guy is laughing because he came up with a funny bit.

He said, “We’ll have everybody stand up for the Pledge of Allegiance, but then direct them to the food line.”

WTF? The three of us thought that was funny.

Out of the blue I get a phone call, without being near a phone, and start talking to an old friend of mine.

He asks me, “Do you guys celebrate it there?” He asks me this three or four times, “Do you guys celebrate it there?”

I finally screamed, “Celebrate What?” And he says, “Alka Seltzer Day.”

Just then Speedy, the Alka Seltzer dude picks up the plastic guitar and starts dancing…I woke up.

And now, our Bagwine Ruminations Comment of the Week…

This week's COW comes to us from my Half Nekkid Thursday, clambake picture post.

I think Jo of My Place for Whatever, probably captured the feel of how many readers feel when coming here, when she said...

"Sweet Mother of Pearl. You bring "Fun with scissors, paper & glue" to a new level.

Every time I come to Matt-Land I end up a little traumatized...but I keep coming back! You're like a voodoo witchdoctor."

Congrats to Jo for ropin' this week's COW, and for the compliment. Click HERE to swing by Jo's and congratulate her.

Have a lovely Saturday. I am off to do some frickin' yardwork over at Ryno's. Man, I need some Alka-Seltzer-Less sleep.

Cheers!!