Friday, May 16, 2008

Streaming Friday!!

It’s Stream of Consciousness Friiiiiiday so melt my core and fill me with helium because I feel like a lead balloon..

The day is gray and so is my tongue. I really need to quit smoking.

My big toe hurts, no not that one, the other one. Yeah, that one.

I have to work 5-9 tonight. Friday nights are pretty decent to work.

Last Friday I got 18 dollars in tips, phone numbers from two chicks, and a loving gaze from a gay man who obviously has impeccable taste.

I am off tomorrow, but unfortunately I think I am laying down a truck load of mulch.

Ironic, putting down yards of mulch at a house in which I no longer live. I care to a fault.

My right nipple is hard and yet the left one is not. Is that normal? Am I normal? Hmmmmm.

I got an email from an old girlfriend the other day. She told me that I am lame. Ahhhh, it was like old times. Thanks Sherri!!

My son and I are having a Batting Cage challenge soon. I think I can take him in spite of my advanced years.

I’ll use a corked bat. I wonder if I could cork my wee wee? Y’know provide myself with a little extra “pop”.

I have Elvis songs going through my head ever since I posted that HNT picture yesterday.

I keep picturing myself naked as I sing, “In the Ghetto”. Wow, that is a disturbing image…And his mama criiiiied.

I need to come up with an Inky and Lola for tomorrow. They have been a couple of slackers of late, but man, Lola does have great tits.

I am starting to feel better now. This stream has really been quite cathartic. I like that word, “cathartic”.

Cuhhhhhh-Tharrrrrr-Tic, c’mon say it with me. Cuhhhh-Tharrrr-Tic. Ahhhh, feel better?

Okay, my stream is running dry now. I guess I’ll just hang out and read some blogs now.

Have a wonderful Friday all, and a great weekend.

I wish you all a fun-filled two days full of ice cold libation and steamy, hot sex.

I’ll have plenty of libation, but alas Aunt Flo is visiting, so no sex for me this weekend. Unless, I get lucky at work tonight.

I wonder what that gay guy is doing?

Cheers!!

48 comments:

Lu' said...

Nice stream, really. I think I heard Schmoop poor another glass... Aunt Flo, best left a thought. The old girfriend, if you are so lame then why is she still thinkg about you and contacting you, hmmmmmm.

Schmoop said...

Lu: Aunt Flo. I just cannot control my stream Lu. The old girlfriend? She's actually a sweetheart, and we are still friends after 20 some years. Cheers!!

Liz Hill said...

Matty: You need Fabby's Love Tip No. 27--you sound iron deficient;-)

YAY for the return o the stream!!

And

Seems like the batting cage challenge might be good Inky and Lola fodder.

Smooch

Schmoop said...

TB: I missed the stream as well. But c'mon...Taking love tips from Fab is like taking Sensitivity Training from Attila the Hun. Cheers Baby!!

Dana said...

Am I normal?

That was a rhetorical question, right? You couldn't possibly want my thoughts on that one *wink*

Schmoop said...

Dana: Ha. Of course I want your thoughts, but please accompany your thoughts with a naked pictorial of yourself. Cheers Dana!!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

Elvis affected me, too...found myself singing "Mama's little baby loves clambake clambake" as I tidied the kitchen yesternoon...myabe you could hook me up with that gay guy?...

Schmoop said...

Phfrankie: Ha...Sorry to put that tune in your head. I'll ask the guy, but I can make no promises. Cheers!!

Lex Valentine said...

Mmmm more Inky and Lola. Hey, isn't mulch kinda like fertilizer? I have a black thumb so I'm clueless here. I just thought if it was like fertilizer you could justify the job by saying that you were dumping shit at your old house.Just in case people thought you were being too nice to the ex.

Schmoop said...

Winter: Nooooo. Mulch is a tree bark based bedding that you put in your flower beds. It looks nice and helps to keep the weeds down. Cheers Bay-Bay!!

Knight said...

You are not normal but the nipple thing is. Trust me, I've done a lot of testing on various um, "patients".

Schmoop said...

Knight: Damn You!! That conjures up images that will distract me the rest of my day. Cheers Knight!!

katherine. said...

they issued a heat advisory warning for today....so any sex should be steamy hot....

enjoy the weekend Mateo...savor the days when you can still take him at the batting cages.....hell...savor the days you two still go together!!

j said...

Hey Matt!

I'm afraid my Stream of Consciousness would sound like...

"Candy. I need Candy. I need to go to the store and buy paper towels. And candy. I wonder if the kids have found my hidden stash of candy. I need to call my mom.. while I eat some candy...."

So, I keep it to myself.

Except with you. I'll share my stream of Consciousness with you.

Got any Skittles?

Jen

Schmoop said...

Kat: It appears that we will FINALLY be getting into the 80's next week.

I savor every moment with him, and he is a bit of an oddity. He actually likes hanging out with mom and/or dad. But yeah, I know it won't last. Cheers!!

Schmoop said...

Jen: Ha. Hey that's what streams are all about. I don't have any Skittles but I do have a few cookies in the cabinet. I feel so inferior now. Say Hi to Bear E. for me. Cheers Jen!!

Leighann said...

Aunt Flo is visiting my house as well but the bitch doesn't have a say over my aquisition of some steamy hot sex!

Desert Songbird said...

That stream was like a good urination: much anticipated, quick, and to the point.

I've missed your streams.

I need to pee now.

Schmoop said...

Leighann: I bow before your "sex at any cost" attitude. You, my friend, are a 21st Century Mae West. Cheers!!

Songbird: Ha. Very done and succinct comment yourself. Good One. Cheers!!

Tug said...

I'm just glad to hear it's Elvis SONGS running through your head instead of Elvis himself. He's dead ya' know.

Jay said...

"... and a loving gaze from a gay man who obviously has impeccable taste."

Sometimes it's just nice to get ANY attention for ANYBODY isn't it? ;-)

Ken said...

If the nipple pain and the toe pain are on the same side,along with the grey tongue, you should be really carefull while laying mulch. I think those are the preliminary symptoms of a rare form of toenipmulchmouth.
Be careful!

Schmoop said...

Tug: Bite your tongue, Tug. Elvis Lives!!!! Cheers!!

Jay: I'm 43, with bad gums, a beer gut, and little hair. You're damn right the attention is welcomed. Cheers!!

Schmoop said...

Micky: Ha. That was good. Cheers Dr. Mick!!

leelee said...

Jay: I'm 43, with bad gums, a beer gut, and little hair. You're damn right the attention is welcomed.


That's hot!

Schmoop said...

Leelee: Ha. I LOVE you!! Cheers Lee!!

j said...

Hey Bay-bey. Bringin' you the ULTIMATE Blog Love, right here in person, with all mah Warm and Fuzziness. Cause it's ALL about you Matt-Man. ALWAYS been all about you. Uhn.

Aww Yeah!

Bear E. White II
Blog Bear Extraordinaire
Giver of the Ultimate Blog Love

Schmoop said...

Bear E.: Awww thanks Man. I am movin' to your groovin' and lovin' your blog huggin'.

You rock like Gibralter and flow more smoothly than Ol' Man River. Cheers Bear E.!!

leelee said...

;-)

Schmoop said...

Leelee: Rowrrrrrrr. Yum. Cheers!!

katherine. said...

I am fortunate cause I get to hang with mine too...and by their choice...when they are in town...or are not encumbered by previous committments....smile

Angell said...

Matt-Man. I've been reading, but not commenting. My recent surgery has me lacking energy. Today I'm feeling a bit better, so I thought I'd touch base and say

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA.

Hope you enjoy your weekend - and I betcha you get at least THREE numbers at work tonight. I have a feeling the gay guy will be back.

SMOOCHES.

Schmoop said...

Kat: I'd rather enjoy hanging with yours myself. Especially if you're wearing the leather jacket. Purrrrr. Cheers!!

Schmoop said...

Angell: Ha. You always stop by out of the blue and then never fail to put a smile on my face. Cheers to Ya!!

Dianne said...

For some reason I feel the need to look out for you! Of course it's unwarranted, you exhibit your 'normalcy' on a daily basis here. BUT - in my motherly capacity I just want to remind you that ...

If you cork your bat you must be prepared to have your bat examined by big fat old guys wearing odd forms of chest protection. They will examine your bat - examine it hard and often - and they'll film it.

Just be prepared sweetie -

Happy Friday!!

Schmoop said...

Dianne: Ha. That was very good. I will be on the lookout for these pod men that you describe. How dare they call themselves human beings...they're umpires. Cheeers!!

Odat said...

Cuhhhhh-Tharrr-Tic~ I DO feel better.
(and still waiting for the anatomically correct Inky!!!_

Peace and have a great weekend!

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

Are you sure when you gaze at the gay guy, it is not just your reflection in the mirror?

Enjoy the weekend dude...and Katherine is correct...just be glad you still can hang... sometimes it is impossible...

Schmoop said...

Odat: He is anatomically correct; he's me. Cheers!!

Bond: I do love myself. Some people call Narcissus. Or is that Matt-Cissus? Cheers!!

Anonymous said...

I just love that you reference In the Ghetto. And I wish I were having hot sex but alas my lover is nowhere to be found!

Cinnamon Girl said...

Regarding the inconsistent nips...totally normal. One is just shy and want a nice dinner first. The other is obviously the slut.

And I'd make a red wings comment you have that kid friendly crap up there. Based on that you can guess which nipple I am :P

Schmoop said...

Lady Jaye: Whadda ya mean. Your lover is right here, dammit!! Cheers!!

Starr: I love your slutty nip. Cheers Dear!!

Cheesy said...

It's 730 PM and still close to 90 degrees out.... Drinking water like its wine ... so I will pee a stream for you! Houston we have a problem.... TAKE BACK YOUR FREEKIN' WEATHER


Awww venting is so sweet~~
Grumpy Cheesy

Schmoop said...

Cheesy: Oh No!! I hope my Cheese doesn't melt. Cheers!!

desert rat said...

Nicely done. I love studying streams (i.e., fluvial geomorphology - or maybe we should call in Fluvial Matt-Morphology). Nice meanders, pools and drops, a little erosion here and there. Definitely some Class IV-V rapids.

Travis Cody said...

Welcome back to the stream!

C. said...

I'll take the hot sex, thank you very much. In mega doses. Please.

Ginormous Boobs said...

That gay guy is dreaming about you...and I'm sure he is envisioning that spead leg clam pic from your previous post.