Thursday, June 26, 2008

Half Nekkid Thursday: Casting Bread Upon the Waters

I almost always take showers, instead of baths...

However...

Sometimes, even a big, bad, Bagwine drinker such as myself, enjoys being cuddled by the relaxing and refreshing warmth of a bubble bath.

The odd thing is...

When I do take a bath instead of a shower, my lovely friend Schmoop, always claims that she has a craving for me to make her toast while I'm in the tub.

And she always says, "Make sure it teeters on the edge of the tub. Toast tastes better if it's been teetering." She is such a loving soul.

Am I missing something, here?



Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday to All!!

See ya tomorrow...

Cheers!!

88 comments:

Dana said...

You are only missing something if she asks you to dry her hair while she waits for her toast!

Schmoop said...

Dana: And what would that be that I am missing? I gotta plead ignorance here. She loves me, right? Cheers Sexy!!

Jay said...

I don't see that this is really a problem. You're just multi-tasking here. Making and eating breakfast while taking your bath. It's a great time saver.

Schmoop said...

Jay: I think the only thing I have done here today, is up the premium on my Life Insurance policy. Cheers!!

Desert Songbird said...

Frankly, I'm a bit disappointed. I thought your photo would be a bit more shocking.

Schmoop said...

Songbird: Why do you pray for my demise? Cheers!!

Anonymous said...

Matt,
I'm working on my HNT...I so almost did a bathtub shot LOL (but I did one w/ my mini skirt...I'm just waiting for Thursday lol

Desert Songbird said...

Never would I do that, sir. I value your place in my life - as a constant source in need of my wit and sarcasm.

boo said...

Now how in hell did Schmoop get her hands on my husbands time travel toaster?

Schmoop said...

Char: Woo Hoo. I know you didn't do the mini-skirt thing for me, but I will tell myself that you did. Cheers!!

Songbird: That was nice. Thanks, dear...Wait, are you being sarcastic? Cheers!!

Schmoop said...

Boo: Ha. You never fail to bring a smile to my face. Must link you immediately, so my failing memory doesn't forget to stop by. Cheers Boo!!

Ms. Inconspicuous said...

She's a funny one, that friend of yours. Now get that toaster away from you--your picture is making me nervous!

Happy HNT!

j said...

I posted a pic of my Mom today and the expression on her face reminds me of your Schmoop. Not a Dead Ringer, but a hint.

And my Mom could SO do the Toaster Teeter. She is a tough cookie.

You are a Hoot Matt!

Jen

- said...

Yikes, you! A brave man U are. Toasty & clever but it makes me edgy I hafto admit. ; )

Happy "unsettling but courageous" HNT 2 U ; )

White Light said...

I hope that was a very toasty and buttery toast, with all your dedication and such ;-) you look very non-plussed right there too!

HHNT!

Kimmie said...

Well, my oh my, don't you look like you are having a serene moment. Love the abandondonment your smile is giving. And I detect some skin with yumminess down younder. MMmmmmmmmmm...Nice. Now just move the toaster.

Joanna Cake said...

Like MsI, the toaster is making me very uncomfortable! And getting in the way of some serious chest hair.... HHNT :)

Schmoop said...

Ms I: Yeah, she's veritable laugh riot. Cheers to you Ms I!!

Jen: Ha. Why thanks and here's your Mom. Cheers Jen!!

Smile: I am fearless, fearless I tells ya. HHNT and Cheers!!

Schmoop said...

Lucia: Ha...non-plussed. I haven't heard anyone use that word in quite awhile. Sweet. Cheers!!

Kimmie: Not until the toast is done. Cheers!!

Cake: The things I do for the sake of art. HHNT and Cheers Cake!!

Lu' said...

I have always found you to be electrifrying... Well, if I were you, I wouldn't use the fresh mushrooms in your cooking if she brings you some :)

Odat said...

Was it buttered?

Peace

Anndi said...

I have issues about limp toast...

Schmoop said...

Lu: Ha. Very good advice indeed. Cheers Lu!!

Odat: Yes, and slathered with Matt-Naisse. Cheers Odat!!

Anndi: I used to, but Viagra does wonders. Cheers Anndi!!

Anonymous said...

I think Schmoop only wants to insure that your bath will be nice and hot. Electrifying, even.

Schmoop said...

Lady Jaye: I think your comment is "dead on". Cheers LJ!!

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

Now if you did not shave your head, you could also model an afro style for us!

Schmoop said...

Bond: Maybe I should, after all, I am sooo supah fly. Cheers!!

RW said...

A very creative photo, its electric, you should have entered that in my contest not that you would win but you just don't see many photos like that.

Schmoop said...

Roger: Ha. Very good, funny man. Cheers Roger!!

Dianne said...

I always scroll down slowly for your HNT - it's like foreplay.

and I was thinking - oh Toaster Teeter - a new position, how kind of Matt-Man and Schmoop to share

and then

but that's OK - I did get to see that lovely trickle of manly hair heading towards your core.

Schmoop said...

Dianne: Mmmmmmm, foreplay. I think I like a couple of hours of that more than the actual boinking.

You make me hot when say, "core". Cheers Di!!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

..Teetering Toast Tops Tethered Toast, Truly....

Schmoop said...

Phfrankie: You have got some mad alliteration skills, there. Cheers!!

Deb said...

One complaint: it's hiding your boobies.

I'm highly disappointed in this HNT.

HIGHLY.

;)

Cheers Mattio!

Cheesy said...

LMAO --- You know we all luvva us some schmoop but hun??
Here is a better use for your toaster....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BILAFuSi-i0

Schmoop said...

Deb: Oh Yeah? Well, I am disappointed in you. You have always looked upon me as nothing more than a piece of man-meat.

I have a mind too you know...A MIND!!

Cheers Hot Stuff!!

Schmoop said...

Cheesy: Ha. Yeah that's a funny tune. I taught it to Ryno a couple of months ago. Cheers Cheesy!!

Beth said...

I said teeter it dammit, teeter it!!! Loves!!!

Karen said...

LOL. You are too funny! I am going to be laughing about this all day.

Schmoop said...

Schmoop: I'll be teetering your sexy ass later tonight. After I feed you handmade Ginormo-Stuffed Burgers, of course.

I know how my cooking turns you on. Cheers Schmoop!!

Schmoop said...

Karen: Why thanks Karen. I like to hear that; I appreciate it. Cheers!!

Lex Valentine said...

Tub Toast. That's pretty funny. And the color of that tub is waaaay 70's!

Schmoop said...

Winter: It does have a ring to it.

And you're probably not too far off. This building was erected in 1964, knowing these tight assed SOBs, I'm sure it's probably the original tub.

I said, "erected". Hee Hee Hee. Cheers!!

Leighann said...

I think the only thing missing is your homemade 'jam' for the toast!

Knight said...

Holy toast crumbs MattMan!
No really, I hate a crumby bath.

Schmoop said...

Leighann: Screw the jam...It's tastier when covered in Matt-Manaisse. Cheers!!

Schmoop said...

Knight: Me too. The crumbs of filth settle into all of one's crevices. Cheers Knight!!

As American as Apple Pie said...

I want a Matt-man ginormous stuffed burger too! Sounds filling.

Ken said...

Nothing worse than soggy toast.

Anonymous said...

dang! I knew my bath was missing something last week! *smacks self upside the head*

Schmoop said...

Apple: Well perhaps I will take pictures and post them tomorrow. Pictures of the burgers, not me toasting her buns. Cheers Apple!!

Schmoop said...

Micky: it's the worst. Cheers Mick!!

Biscuit: The only thing missing from your bath shot last week, was me. Cheers Sexy!!

Cinnamon Girl said...

May I just say that the fact that you used White Bread just killed me? It's the Bagwine of Bread!

And ya look all steamy there Matt ;)

Marilyn said...

The toaster's blocking all the good parts. Couldn't she have snapped the picture after you made her breakfast?

Schmoop said...

Starr: I look HAWT, don't I? ; ) And YES it's white bread, this is the Midwest, not the froo-froo, birkenstock wearin' Pacific Northwest. Cheers Starr!!

Marilyn: I took the pic myself...Schmoop needed to be somewhere else in case she needed an alibi. Cheers Marilyn!!

desert rat said...

Dear Gawd and Sweet Baby Jeebus - Please tell me that thing isn't really plugged in!

I'm glad I didn't stay up until 10:01 to see this - it would have given me nightmares. Instead I dreamt (and did you know that "dreamt" is the only word in the English language that ends in "mt?"), about William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy - oh, wait, I guess that is some sort of nightmare.

Cinnamon Girl said...

And God bless you for it Matty. I am up to my eyeballs in organic, free trade, Columbia Sportswear clothed yuppies :P

Schmoop said...

Desert Rat: Ha. Of course it's plugged in. I like to keep it real.

And as far as your "nightmare"? I am crushed. William Shatner is the greatest actor of our time. The Shat, Rocks!! Cheers Rat!!

Schmoop said...

Starr: Ha...I can imagine. You need to make a road trip to Bagwine, and visit for some Loosemeat Sandwiches on greasy white bread buns...

I'll greet you at the door wearing an earring, a sleeveless shirt, and though we're not married, I'll even introduce you to Schmoop, as "my old lady". Cheers Sis!!

Cinnamon Girl said...

Hells Yes!

Schmoop said...

Starr: If you give me enough notice, I'll even run out and buy a wallet that has a chain on it. A must have man accessory here in Bagwine. Cheers!!

boo said...

Matty, have I mentioned I adore you? I want to be William Shatner when I grow up. I've always thought I could be the coolest person on the planet if I managed to combine Bill and Erma Bombeck.

Ed & Jeanne said...

Sorry Matt-man, I got a $1.26 reward for turning in high risk people to the insurance company. Every bit counts toward gas you know...

Schmoop said...

Boo: Oh by golly, the feeling is mutual, Boo. And by the way, Erma was born, raised and lived for awhile just 25 miles down the road from me. She was funny. Cheers!!

VE: Man you are groovin'. Turn 100 more people in for that amount, and you'll be able to fill up your tank. Cheers Funny Man!!

Greg and Sheryl said...

Every bathroom should have such an appliance. ;-) Happy HNT!

Schmoop said...

G&S: Ya think? If that's the case, I'll start making omelets in there as well. Cheers Guys!!

Cinnamon Girl said...

Well every bathroom should have SOME appliances. I usually buy mine at a lovely emporium called Mr. Peeps.

;)

blue said...

ack...are there suction cups on the bottom of that thing? lol...hope the dnaer made the food taste better...heehee...HHNT!

Schmoop said...

Starr: HA....The only "appliances" I need in the head room are a few funny books and plenty of toilet paper. Cheers!!

Cinnamon Girl said...

*insert (Hah! I kill myself) comment regarding innie versus outie here *

Schmoop said...

Blue: Suction Cups? No way, I live on the edge. Thanks for stopping, HHNT, and Cheers to ya!!

Schmoop said...

Starr: You crack me up too. Cheers!!

Luka said...

Did dhe also insist that you should help the toast pop up by jamming a large metal implement into the elements?

Me likee.

HHNT!

Schmoop said...

Luka: Ha. No she didn't. I think it may have been the only time she has been subtle. HHNT and Cheers!!

Anonymous said...

Just be glad she didn't have you put your pecker in that there toaster!

Schmoop said...

PP: Of course she didn't. She won't admit it, but she does like it once in awhile. Cheers!!

leelee said...

OH NO...lol

BE CAREFUL!

HUGS!

Jo said...

Aw, you look so relaxed & content...a little zap would perk you right up! Maybe Schmoop is just trying to give you one of those epiphanies people have at the brink. They're supposed to be pretty spectacular.

CreativeMish said...

If she brings the fry pan! Then you're in trouble!

Schmoop said...

Lee: It's okay...all parts are intact. Cheers!!

Jo: I love the word epiphany. I use it in everyday speech. Cheers Sexy!!

Michelle: Ha...She's not subtle, but she isn't that blatant. She likes a little panache. CHeers!!

Janna said...

It DOES taste better after teetering. The molecules get more evenly toasted that way.

Schmoop said...

Janna: HA. That's what she says. CHeers!!

katherine. said...

move the toaster just a bit...I can only see the hair on your belly....

Liz Hill said...

Who doesn't love toast? HHNT

Schmoop said...

Kat: I'll make up for it next week. Cheers Kat!!

TB: Heavily buttered toast is a gorgeous thing. Cheers!!

Baby said...

Matt-Man I am sorry for being late - but Happy HNT!!! Love the color of that tub - so retro - but the toaster scares the bejeebers out of me!!! :)

Travis Cody said...

HA! Teetering toast made at the edge of a full bath.

The Covert Lover said...

Toast alone is no breakfast at all - where is the electric griddle to cook her eggs??? ;)

I have missed reading your blog lately, you always make me smile.

Happy very late HNT!