Saturday, June 21, 2008

Three Babes, and Two COWS

When I left my home and family, I was no more…

Okay wait…that sounded like the beginning of a Simon and Garfunkle song. Let me begin again.

When I left the safe confines of a marriage and a very nice house nearly eight years ago, I had plenty of material things.

I don’t have those now, but…I do have several new friends, and one very special one.

Friends that I would have never have met had I stayed in that relationship.

Friends so dear, that they are willing to get partially naked for me. And those, my dear readers, are the very best friends to have.

I present to you, the initial installment of: The Bagwine Babes


First, and foremost, is my best buddy in the entire world, Schmoop. I love her to pieces, and she looks so hot in the coolness of black and white. And she may be, as far as adults go, the nicest person I have ever met. Okay…Back off Jay.




Secondly, we have my mutual blog crush, and all-around hot Land of Lincolner, Dana. She is perhaps, the only Republican with whom I would have sex.

Much like the Schmoopster, she is not only hot, but funny and quite intelligent. I am so glad that she frequents my blog.



And lastly, we have Motley. Motley is only 19, so yes, being 43, I felt kinda creepy putting her on here, but dammit, how could I not?

She was last week’s COW winner and went to the trouble of writing my name on her most nubile, and edible thigh.

How can one, not give out props for that? Thanks Motley, and tell your mom, Winter, that I love her too.




So, there you have it. Three hot chicks who have succumbed to the piquant bite of the Bagwine. Who will be next? Anyone? Oh dear God, I hope so.

And now, our Bagwine Ruminations Comment of the Week…



It was tough this week because for whatever reason, all of you guys were some damn funny mo-foes. But I have, come up with not one, but two worthy recipients…

First off the sexiest chick in the Willamette Valley, the uber-adorable Cheesy…

She had a comment about my post on California gay marriage from yesterday that went exactly like this:


“a lesbian couple who are 83 and 87 years old got married. Witnesses are describing the ceremony as beautiful and the honeymoon as horrifying.”

Cheesy has had many a funny comment over the last couple years, she is long due for this. Check her site out by clicking HERE. You’ll be glad you did.

And the other?

It is from Wednesday’s post about my visit from the Holy Baby Jeebus.

Relatively new reader, Dianne, left a comment about how she had a spiritual awakening and came to find me…


“I got entangled in a church Baby Jeebus parade and there he was! in the plaster! himself!

I didn't know what it meant then since I hadn't found you yet but as I jammed my car through the crowd reverently exclaiming - "get the fuck back on the sidewalk cretins" Baby Jeebus looked deep into my eyes and whispered.

"Seek out the Matt-Man bitch"…


Is that touching or what? To check out Dianne’s site click HERE.

I hope you do stop by everybody’s site that I have mentioned, and more importantly...

I hope that you wear some Bagwine clothes and/or write my name on your body, take a picture and become a Bagwine Babe.

Hey, it’s all I have to look forward to.


Cheers!!

42 comments:

Lex Valentine said...

Ooooh. How sweet of you! Me loves me some Matt-Man! :)

Schmoop said...

Winter: Ha. You are too kind. You triple threat, you. ; ) Cheers!!

Cheesy said...

WOW IM A COW!
Milk me baby cuz I don't have a sharpie for my thigh!
Hugs!

Congrats Dianne~~ My Co-COW!
...2 udders and so many teets... so little time!

Schmoop said...

Cheesy: You and Di, make four udders. This time I thought...why limit myself.

You actually had me way back when you said, "Don't eat soup in the rain, you'll never finish." Ha. Cheers Sexy!!

Desert Songbird said...

Are you kidding? I don't have to buy your swag to be a Bagwine Babe. I'm Songbird, bitch!

Schmoop said...

Songbird: You didn't get the memo, did ya? Cheers!!

katherine. said...

it's a virtual harem....

Schmoop said...

Kat: Isn't it though? Now, if only I could bend the dimensions of time and reality, and make it come true!! Cheers, Kat!!

katherine. said...

I think it has something to do with space time continuum...gotta call Q

Schmoop said...

Kat: I called Stephen Hawking about this, but I couldn't understand him. Cheers!!

katherine. said...

laughing...well maybe not HIM...but the universe?

Schmoop said...

Kat: Oh it was good...Ol' Steve-O was talking about the universe, but as I listened all I could think of was oredering a Big Mac. Cheers!!

Dana said...

Do you know how good it feels to find myself between Schmoop and Motley this morning? What a great way to wake up.

Thanks for the honor ... really! And CONGRATULATIONS to Cheesy and Dianne! They *are* funny!!

Schmoop said...

Dana: Putting you in between those two is payment for wearing my shirt. Now, if I can get myself squeezed in between the three of ya. Cheers Dana!!

Dianne said...

I always felt I was a cow but now I am a COW! and it is making my precious parts tingle.

Congrats Cheesy - I'm honored to be your Co-COW. You killed me with the horrifying honeymoon.

Matt-Man you're the most exciting man to come into my life since the pool boy with the huge dick. And he wasn't intelligent or funny - just exhausting.

I'm gonna go get me a Bagwine shirt and set up the tri-pod.

Dianne said...

I'm so self-involved! Forgot to say!
Schmoop - Dana - Motley
Hot! Hot! Hot!

Jeff B said...

Oh Matty,

Could I be a Bagwine Babe too???

Could I, Could I, huh?

Odat said...

Wow.....BareBagwineBabes...BBBs....I think this is the start of sompin....I don't know what ....but.....

Anyhoo...Congrats to the Cows! WTG!

Peace

Knight said...

Oh my! What a morning! Hot babes everywhere. By the way, I posted a picture for you the other day. I'll remember to write Matt-Man first next time.
Excellent cow choices. They both crack me up.

Kimmie said...

Congratulations...Cheesy and Dianne on your COW Awards. You both made me laugh out loud this week with your funny comments!

Matt..."The BBB's", now you want your own harem...you are such a whore! ;-)

Oh, and Jeff B. has his hand up, he's beggin ya, throw him a beater shirt will ya? Maybe he'll start a guy "Wet Teeshirt Contest" for all us bitches!? Oh Yeah!

Jay said...

The blogosphere is just so full of babes it's amazing. And what's really awesome is that not only are they so smoking hot, but they're super smart too. How sexy is that?

Schmoop said...

Dianne: You can be as self involved as you want to be, as long as the pool boy is gone and you allow me to really tingle your parts. Cheers to ya, Di!!

Jeff: Just thinking about it makes me hot!! Cheers!!

Odat: I think you're right. I may need to add them to the Bagwine Calendar. Cheers Odat!!

Schmoop said...

Knight: Holy Crap!! You did? How the hell did I miss that? I'll be right over. Cheers!!

Kimmie: Funny thing is, I'm not even a sheik. Cheers!!

Jay: No kiddin'. And yeah, beauty AND brains, what a novel concept. More people should look into that. Cheers Jay!!

Marilyn said...

Where is Jeff gonna put your name? Will you post the pic?

Schmoop said...

Marilyn: I wonder that myself. But wherever h eputs it-I'll post it. Cheers Marilyn!!

desert rat said...

Congrats to Cheesy and Diane for their COWs - Hilarious! Truly, the comments are every bit as entertaining as your posts!

Schmoop, Dana, and Motley - very hot!

I'm so inspired, I just ordered my Bagwine thong (I even upgraded the shippping)!

Schmoop said...

Desert Rat: Oh my...Why must you toy with my libido? Cheers Rat!!

Schmoop said...

Desert Rat: Ha. Touche'. Good One. Cheers!!

Anonymous said...

It is now my life's mission to become a Bagwine Babe. I must start taking some photos.

Schmoop said...

Lady Jaye: Ooooo, upon reading your comment, I think it moved. Mmmm. I updated your link by the way, LJ. Cheers, Hot Stuff!!

Cinnamon Girl said...

Interesting photo collection Matt! Ya know I have art work for an album cover for a Mix tape my ex boyfriend made me. And if ya look really close...well let's just say there is more of Starr than meets the eye ;)

I might just send that!

He'd shit a brick if he knew I did :P

Schmoop said...

Starr: Mmmmmmm well send away...I mean just for the purposes of art, of course...ahem. Cheers!!

Liz Hill said...

So all I need is a wet tank top and I'm in?

Anonymous said...

Woohoo, I'm a Bagwine Babe! That's unexpected and totally AWESOME.

none said...

Damn..I'm going to have to shave my legs so you can see my bagwine tattoo!

boo said...

Now that's the best Menage A Twat I've ever seen!

Schmoop said...

TB: You could send me a picture of you smiling, and you'd be in. Cheers!!

Motley: I shouldn' say this, but you are HOT!! Cheers and Thanks!!

Hammer: You have always been a Bagwine Babe!!

Schmoop said...

Boo: You, my dear are adorable, and as I have told you before, I dig chicks, in glasses. Cheers!!

Leighann said...

I think I should get some sort of compensation for bringing Dana your way.

You can sugar my ass and call me "Cookie"!!

As American as Apple Pie said...

Send me that Matt-man for Pres shirt and I'll send you back a photo of me wearing it.

CreativeMish said...

I've still got it! But nobody wants to see it! LOL! Well my handyman does.. but thats just because he loves me :)

Schmoop said...

Apple: I have to design one first, but Im working on it. Cheers Pie!!

Leighann: I'd be more that happy to do that, and thanks. Cheers!!

Michelle: And just how handy is your man. Hmmmm? Cheers!!