Friday, August 29, 2008

Here She Is...Miss Former Miss Alaska Runner-Up

Un-Fucking-Believable!!

NBC is reporting that 44 year old Gov. Sarah Palin (R-(Very Hot)-Alaska) is going to be Johnny Mac's running mate.

The former mayor of Wasilla, Alaska and Governor with a year and a half of experience under her sexy belt, has been allegedly chosen by Johnny Mac to be a heartbeat away from the Presidency.

Are you kidding me?

No.

She is very conservative, vehemently pro-life and a strong NRA chick. That should help McCain quite a bit.

I’m sure that her tenure as mayor of Wasilla, Alaska and the 18 months or so as Governor of Alaska will help her deal with the economic and foreign relations problems confronting our country, should she have to assume the role of Commander-in-Chief.

McCain has shown his strength of judgment in picking her. She is obviously far more qualified to be President than either Obama or Biden.

Okay maybe not, but she is quite bang-able.

Brilliant!! She’s a woman, and McCain is trying to capture the female vote of the disaffected Clinton voters...which I find kind of insulting to women. It's not like they vote monolithically.

McCain knows that ALL women will vote for a woman…especially when said woman doesn’t want women to have the right to choose.

What?

You know what? I think perhaps that McCain is thinking, like most men, thinking with his dick rather than his brain.

And you know what, I applaud you old man…at least your wanker still has some life in it. Your mind? Um, not so much.


Happy Birthday Johnny Mac, you got not only a VP for your special day, with any luck, you'll get a blow job too!!

Cheers!!

My typical daily post is below...

Update 12:23: McCain just said that he, "Has found someone who puts power over principle." Ha.. freudian slip or introducing a Femi-Nazi? You decide.

Update 12:29: Upon her introduction as I type this, they are playing the theme from the movie "Rudy"...Do they understand the sad shape that the Notre Dame football program is in?

Update 12:31: Palin is celebrating her 20th wedding anniversary today. She is 44. She has five kids...Which means, at the very least, she likes to fuck once every four years or so...Hmmm.

Update 12:36: Her kids names are Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper, and Trig. WTF? I didn't realize that Republican mothers dropped acid!!

Update 12:37: These updates are fun!!

Update 12:44: Palin just made a statement of how she wouldn't be there without Hillary Clinton...The Straight Talk Express has now been re-named the Pander Mobile.

Last Update 12:48: Dan Quayle finally strikes me as statesman-like!!

29 comments:

Ed & Jeanne said...

Alaska huh? Does that mean we will all get an annual tax kick back like they get up there? Or at least a nice centerfold from her for a calendar...

Knight said...

Holy crap I did NOT see that coming.

Dana said...

I didn't see this coming either, but it is an interesting move! No one seems too concerned about Obama's lack of experience - at least she'll only be the VP *wink*

I will say this - pretty awesome moment in history when you realize you'll either witness the first black President or the first female Vice-President.

Now, all you "lemming" women, go vote for McCain *gigglesnort*

Schmoop said...

VE: If she poses naked I'll buy it...Vote for her and Mac? Not so much. Cheers!!

Knight: I was on the right track, but my prediction fell short. James Carville called it right two weeks ago. He said that McCain's pick would be nobody that we have ever really heard of. Props to Lizaed Man. Cheers!!

Schmoop said...

Dana: She's pretty hot. That's not a great picture of her. But she is a fascist. Screwing her would be like getting naked with Hitler. Ha. I love hyperbole. Cheers!!

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

Perfect for all those Bible-pumping, gun-toting, far rights who are unsure if Johnny Mac still has a wanker...

Schmoop said...

Bond: And perfect for that .001% of men who have a fetish and fantasy for having sex with the Vice-President of the United States. Cheers!!

Mo and The Purries said...

Yep, good thing I'm not a professional crystal ball reader.
I would have picked Obama choosing a woman VP and McSame choosing an old white guy. D'oh!
And what about all this "gotta have experience" crap the McBush camp has been pushing at us!!!!

Schmoop said...

Mo: I think that Johnny Mac has thrown away his only trump card with this pick. McCain's experience argument has just gone out the igloo window. Cheers!!

Jay said...

Only 1.5 years experience as Governor of the 47th most populous state in the country.

A state with practically no agricultural economy.

A state with practically no manufacturing economy.

It's all about the Oil industry.

He could have picked Kay Bailey Hutchinson or Meg Whitman or Condi Rice, but I guess they're all way to qualified.

Probably the most cynical choice ever made.

Jay said...

Oh and don't forget that she's currently under investigation for abuse of power by the legislature which is controlled by her own party.

I'm sure they'll be pressured to shut it down now though.

So, she comes scandal-ready!

Schmoop said...

Jay: I saw Kay Bailey being interviewed after the announcement. Her support for this choice was well, underwhemlming. Cheers!!

Kimmie said...

Holy Shit, I didn't see this coming either. What was he thinking, or should I say not thinking?

Thanks for the updates!

none said...

A real fiscal conservative, NRA life member, former beauty queen, shoots mooses and then gnaws on their dead carcasses. Hell, I wish her and McCain would switch places.

none said...

Miss Wasilla Sarah Palin

Schmoop said...

Kimmie: I don't think anyone saw this coming. Cheers!!

Hammer: Ooooooo. Big frickin' deal. I've eaten a few moose in my time, but I was drunk and they all looked hot at the time. She's a political gimmick. Cheers!!

Dianne said...

I saw her interviewed on a talk show - it was all in fun, some crap about honorary citizenships to Alaska

after the interview the host called "naughty librarian sexy"

does this mean McCain reads?

if women start supporting this ...

Schmoop said...

Dianna: I will have a full post about this but to be brief, I think McCain has not only insulted the intellect of women, particularly that of Hillary supporters, but has also insulted the Office of Vice-President. Cheers Di!!

Schmoop said...

Starr: Yeah, I heard that about her husband. I love irony. And McCain should leave the ass kissing of women to a professional salad toseer such as myself. Seriously though, it is, as you said, pathetic and sad. Cheers!!

Cinnamon Girl said...

So Matt....jelly or maple syrup?

;)

I love Chris Rock =)

Jeff B said...

Dana touched on exactly what I feared this nations would start saying and thinking about this election, "It's either a black man or a woman."

My god, I hope the people of this nation are smart enough to look beyond the obvious and look to who would be a better leader. I'd hate to think that the vote will be decided by race or gender, but I'm quite sure that the media will do all they can to keep the focus on exactly that issue.

Jahooni said...

i knew this would piss the matt-man off!

Schmoop said...

Starr: Chris Rock, well, rocks. Hmmmm, not a big maple syrup fan, so jelly it is. Cheers!!

Jeff: Well, since the McCain has decided to pick Palin on purely electoral startegy instead of qualifications, how can the media not focus on it.

Schmoop said...

Jahooni: Piss Me Off? I am going to be loving this. I already have a half dozen posts swimming around in my head. All quite rude and quite funny.

Good to see ya and your pearly whites. Cheers Jahoooooni!!

Schmoop said...

Evil: Good luck with that. I'm sure others feel the same way. Cheers!!

Marilyn said...

Seeing her, it's obvious that he's going for the white male vote.

Schmoop said...

Marilyn: Ha. Good Point. Cheers Marilyn!!

katherine. said...

actually...

no...never mind...the dealer passes

CreativeMish said...

Where did this come from? I don't know anything about her..