All and then Nothing

I tell ya. Wednesday, for me, was productive as far as writing goes.

I wrote parts to several posts, but they are seasonal, so they will have to wait until the holidays kick in.

And so, it was with extreme duress that I sat staring at my computer Wednesday night thinking of what to write for today.

And stare I did.

It started after work, at about 9:30 P.M. and the catatonic gaze lasted until almost 11.

I was trying to think of something amusing, because I don’t think my stuff has been very funny of late.

But, because I worked on three or four other posts for Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa during the day, it was as if my humor for the day had been used up.

When I cogitated upon that thought, a cold chill overcame me. I asked myself, “Is it possible to at some point, use up all the humor that is inside of me?”

Yeah, I know some of you are thinking that I used it all up months or even years ago, and to you I say, “Maybe so” “Bite Me.”

Trying to assuage that chilling thought and looking for some inspiration, I turned on the Christmas lights around our living room window.

And some of you, may ask as to why my lights are already up. I never take them down. You see, I have a theory about Christmas lights.

If you take down your lights after Christmas and stow them away, when you put them back up the following year, they never frickin’ work.

I leave mine up all year, and when I go to plug them in as the holidays draw near…Voila!! They work just fine. I’m a genius.

But of course, that’s not really the point here, is it? No, it’s not. And the lights while pretty, never yielded any inspiration.

I was thinking I could write about taking Ryno to the Dentist today, but what’s funny about a dental appointment?

Not a damn thing, especially when he likes his dentist and any made up horror stories by me on the way there would have no effect on him.

Y'know...Damn...I mean....

Damn, sometimes being funny is hard work. In fact, one could say, “Only through the salty sweat of art and labor can the sweet tears of unbridled laughter be tasted.”

But why would one say that? It’s a stupid saying that I just created in desperation. It may have been the most inane thing I have ever said.

Oh dear God, make me funny again. I beseech thee!!

Okay it’s late now, and I have to have this up soon, so this is it for today. My post for today, as my buddy Jeff would say, is nothing more than a, big puddle of spilled fuck.

Well, that is certainly true, and I hope to be able to swim out of it soon.

Cheers!!

Note: NINE people have already emailed me and said, “Yes” to a Matt-Man Christmas Card!!

If you’d like a personalized, handmade Christmas card mailed from me to you, email me (neshobadude @ yahoo.com) and give me your address.

They will be mailed out shortly after Thanksgiving!!