I want to thank all of you who prayed for my penis yesterday.In spite of the cold environs in which I worked yesterday, it didn’t freeze and fall off.
The best thing? I tried it out on a real, live girl last night when I got home, and guess what?
It worked!!
My manic member thawed out…its capillaries burst wide open, and Matt-Manna spewed forth from it’s angry opening.
I think the other party involved actually enjoyed it.
Perhaps Schmoop (are ya listenin’, Schmoop) will be kind enough to critique my performance in a comment today.
Ahhhhhh. I had a different topic scheduled for today, but I changed my mind after my scintillating, Sunday night sexcapade.
In case you wanted to know, there’s a bright, red hand print on Schmoop’s left ass cheek as of the typing of this.
Does this post have a meaning other than to let the world know that I got laid last night, you ask?
Of course not…Ha, kidding, of course it does.
I find something funny. Even though I am trusting, fly-by-the-seat of my pants kinda guy, I am still somewhat surprised by the stuff in my life that I reveal to all of you.
I have never been one to hide my feelings, thoughts, or my desire to become a lesbian porn star, but with you guys, it’s even easier to bounce those things off of than with most folks in my life.
I dig it. And for a couple of reasons, I just wanted to let you all know that you make it incredibly easy for me to be me when I write a new entry onto Bagwine Ruminations.
I’m a bit run down, and didn’t have time to do what I wanted to do on here today, so I thought this was a good time to just say thanks.
Thanks to all of you for taking the time out of your day to listen to me over these 2+ years and 963 posts that I have made.
For me, and you as well, I hope the Bagwine digs continue to be a place where anyone and everyone can open up and be themselves.
With that being said…I want to let you know that I have 20 requests for a Christmas Card from the Matt-Man.
I appreciate all of you that I have emailed me with your address. Rest assured that I
If you haven’t requested your card, email me at neshobadude @ yahoo.com and I’ll send a homemade card your way shortly after Thanksgiving.
Until tomorrow, and the post that I intended to make today…
Cheers!!
52 comments:
Pffffffffffff
Phfrankie: There are certain things I have come to expect from you and if I find out that you didn't pray FOR my penis to fall off, I will be highly disappointed. Cheers!!
Nick: What? Not funny? I know. But man, I was cold and tired. Cheers!!
This is the strangest thank-you I've ever received. But I kinda dig it.
Fantasy: Ha. I guess it was kind of odd, wasn't it. I think the message came through....so to speak. Cheers Meg!!
Well they say, don't do today what you can put off until tomorrow. Me thinkst it is actually the otherway around but if the inverted version serves you then invert I say, invert man invert.
Ummmm ... that wasn't the prayer *I* said for your penis!
Thyank YOU Matt-Man, for giving and giving and asking for nothing (OK - big lie) in return!
Lu: Ha. As I have pointed before, I am, Opposite Man. I think it does work well for me. Cheers Lu!!
Dana: I am selfless, aren't I? And just think...If things one does come back to them ten-fold, in the very near future I am going to get laid 20 more times. Cheers Dana!!
I can confirm, and boy can I confirm, that everything is in working order!! Yea!!!! Meet you out behind the drive thru tonite??? Wink Wink.
Schmoop: Why thank you...I'll meat you there, and I'll bring the Rose and the Olive Oil. Cheers Schmoop!!
If you're half as good as you were twenty some years ago at BG, I am incredibly jealous of this Schmoop woman. I'll send you my address so I can get a card from you. Stay your sweet self Matty.
~~~Traci ; )
Traci: Hooo Yahhhhhh. WTF? How the hell ya been? Thanks for stopping by, and thanks for initiating an uncomfortable question and answer session between Schmoop and I tonight. Cheers Trace!!
ahhhh I follow a woman from your past!! I love sexy mystery stuff.
I was working all weekend and didn't get a chance to stop by your posts BUT I ALWAYS pray for you and so by extension (hehehe) I always pray for your penis.
I still think you should invest in that whip. Glad everything is in working order.
Dianne: I have been lucky to just get my posts up of late. I have been spending extra time making sure Ryno keeps up with his school work. Haven't gone about other blogs as a result. I do thank you for your penile entreaties on my behalf. Cheers Di!!
Knight: No whip as of yet, but Schmoop was eyeballing my belt with lust last night. Cheers, Gorgeous!!
I didn't pray for your penis...nope i did not
And this constant asking for addresses to send our Christmas Cards...dude...it is getting a tad desperate... slow the heck down.
Bond: Oh, I'm sorry...Just for you I'll curtail my attempt to spread the love of the Little Baby Jeebus.
Just because you are Italian, and therefore a descendant of Romans, doesn't mean you have to kill our Savior all over again. Cheers Vinny!!
I think you would make a stunning Lesbian Porn Star. You were born to eat at the Y :P
Starr: Well then slap me on the ass and call me, Matt-tilda. There aren't many things that I do well, but that is one of them. Cheers Starr!!
Yeah my ex (boyfriend variety) was similarly skilled.
It's an elite club. 99% of guys tend to go the 31 Flavors ice cream cone technique. If we can call it that.
I didn't pray for your penis either, but there is a good reason for that. God usually does the opposite of what I ask for. So, if I had prayed for your penis to recover, it would have turned several different colors and then shriveled up and fallen off. You're welcome.
Starr: Many men do not have the mad lingual skillz needed in that area. It's a gift. Cheers!!
Jay: I appreciate that Jay. You are Solomon, Thomas Aquinas, and Mother Teresa rolled into one. Bless You. Cheers!!
Good Christ on a cracker, what have I missed? See what happens when you have a whirlwind weekend where the most time you can spend reading blogs at any given time is about 2 mins? I MISS MATT-MAN NEEDING PRAYERS FOR HIS PENIS!
Well, I would have prayed for ya Matt-Man, but I'm glad to hear your member survived even without my ministrations.
Or maybe it survived BECAUSE I didn't offer up any prayers. I think God's a little mad at me right now. :-(
Giggle: Much like you, and as I said to Di, I have been tied up myself with Ryno.
But c'mon, how could God be upset with a hot woman named, Giggle Pixie? Much like with me with my given name, you will make it to Heaven on your Blog name alone. Cheers GP!!
Well, I always pray for you Matt. Though you seem to be quite alright on your own.
Time was when all you wrote about was how musty dusty your balls were 'cuz you couldn't get any action. Now it's all about meat meets taco.
Sheesh. Quit bragging, would ya?
Karen: I appreciate it...and I just seem to be on a roll. It could dry up after the Traci incident. Cheers!!
Songbird: Hey, I've gone 43 years without much success other than the help with the creation of Ryno. Damn right I'm gonna brag. Cheers!!
happily, I had all my lessons from a young woman who lived on both sides of the street.
she taught me how a woman LOVES it and then I mastered the skill
Bond: Lived on both sides of the street? Was she a vagrant? Cheers!!
"was she a vagrant?" - I call you killer cause you slay me!!
Good luck with Ryno and his school work. High school was a pain in the ass the first time around, it's a real challenge with your kids - but hey - my boy made it and so will yours.
We may be fucked up but we are excellent parents and I have the fully functional, upstanding, no police record 35 year old to prove it.
I know in Bagwine the educational system of life is a little behind...she liked men and women...now you understand?
I missed your frozen unit yesterday. No I didn't miss it THAT way, just didn't stop by. Sometimes life's timing is good.
Dianne: Killer? Ha. I love it it. Start calling me, Jerry Lee Matt-Man. I know he'll be fine. He's smart as hell, but like me, a bit undisciplined. Cheers Lovely One!!
Bond: Christ Killer!! Cheers!!
Jeff: Ha. You should write comments full time, Jeff. Cheers!!
Interesting story there Vinny. Cause my ex was asked by a "vagrant" (haha Matt :P) to show *her* how he did it. He was insufferably smug about that fact too.
...vagrants...Christ killers...giggle pixies....what planet have I landed on?...
Starr: Hey, no matter what one's skills may be, toot your own horn. Cheers!!
Phfrankie: The Good Planet Lollipop. Cheers P-Man!!
I don't know which I enjoy more...your satisfication of schmoop or the commentary
bond's sexual education
jeff missing your penis
Traci-ng your past
whips
belts
no wonder we all love visiting bagwine
you're welcome
HUGS!
Kat: Ha. It all adds up to a melange of goodness, no? Cheers Kat!!
Leelee: Ha. I apprecite it. Thanks for your visitations. Cheers Cutie!!
I did not kill Christ, but I did shoot the deputy
Hi matt man, i din not pray for your penis, I have no reason to think I ever will. What is up with it, or is it not up, frankly I do not care.
I did respond to your comment on my post, trust me, I thought the bumper sticker was hateful, just used to make a point.
So you're sure?
I mean--
I can disassemble the altar and knock it off with the chanting?
whewwww.
good.
My lips were getting tired and the altar was clashing with my decor.
Anything for you though Matt.
Bond: Ha. That was pretty good. Cheers Vin!!
Sarge: I'll check your comment out tonight after work. I let the bumper sticker pic slide; I just was commenting on the issue at hand. Cheers!!
Hope: Ha. Thanks for your heavanly efforts. Please feel free to restore your decor to its previous chicness. Cheers to ya Hope!!
Shall I leave a ladder out?
In all sincerity though... Thank you Matt, for making me smile.
Wow! I'm kind of scared! Its a good thing I live clear across the country from you...
Wait, did I pray for your penis? ummm, i don't think it was YOURS, but one was certainly prayed for.
Well Sir...sometimes there's just TMI around here. But I can handle that because in between the TMI is some damn fine writing.
Anndi: Please do and thanks; you make me smile as well, Anndi. Cheers!!
Michelle: Pffffft. I'm really just a big harmless dork. Cheers Michelle!!
Vodka: You dirty penis prayer you. Cheers VM!!
Travis: Why thank you very much Travis. Actually, I just couldn't think of anything last night that didn't require alot of work. Cheers!!
Gawd damn man, get a real job, so you can afford some good beer! Geez, no wonder you have to freeze it to get it up.
Did somebody hear something? Sounded like a gnat...or a flea...or something. Oh, it was Hoot.
If you happen to come peek in my window~~~~
Watch out for that cliff behinddddddddddddddddddddd youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Cheesy: Ha. You always knew that I'd eventually fall for you. Cheers Cheesy!!
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