Sunday, November 23, 2008

Sunday Morning Church Disservice: Learning is "FUN"damental

It’s a sunny day here in Bagwine, Ohio. The mercury will soar to 45 degrees today.

So, my Sabbath at the drive-thru parsing out bacchanalian delights won’t be too uncomfortable.

Today marks a new week…a new beginning, and a week of thanksgiving.

I have quite a bit for which to be thankful.

During my mini-episode late this week, I have learned that you guys are really sweet. Your comments, emails, and phone calls meant a lot to me.

I appreciate it more than you can imagine. Thank you for your kindness and for teaching me more than a few things.

During this crisis, I learned through some of the emails I received from you all that evidently I am the only one that doesn’t utilize spell check or correct obvious mistakes when emailing.

You guys have impeccable email skills and etiquette.

Another thing I learned from my crisis is that if I discontinue blogging, Hope will kick my ass.

Another person was even more threatening, but seriously, why drag my mother into this?

I discovered over the last couple of days that Hoot Gibson may be somewhat human.


That fact is kinda bittersweet. I mean, I have a hard time picking on people who show even the slightest bit of humanity.

I found out that Jay’s major concern was if he was still gonna get his god damn Christmas card from me.

Hey Cynical Bastard, I got your fuckin’ Christmas card right here, come and get it. But yes, I will still be sending cards out.

I also learned one other thing. I have been trying to figure out a way to make some cash from my blog. But, that is now secondary.

In order to capitalize on the kindness you have all shown to me, my main focus is now on how to use my blog in order to have sex with each and every one of you.

You all are one, sweet, sexy lot.

Man, learning is fun…no matter what age one is, and that leads us to our Sunday Serenade...


Have fun today. I think tomorrow will mark my return to normalcy. Well, at least my version of normalcy.

Cheers!!

29 comments:

Ken said...

Hey, it's all good. The fact that you seem to have pulled Hoot out of some hatefull shell is worth it all, I'd think.
I think he might really like you!!!!

Schmoop said...

Micky: Ha. Whodda figured? I may be Hoot's salvation, and he mine. Cheers Mick!!

Desert Songbird said...

If you choose to walk naked around your living room, can you turn on your web cam? Please?

Anonymous said...

"my main focus is now on how to use my blog in order to have sex with each and every one of you."

You dork! JUST ASK ME!!

Cheesy said...

Alanis's coat of many colors!

And spell check is for sissies~~ so fuk ewe,,, lol

katherine. said...

with each and every one of us???

cool.

Cinnamon Girl said...

Aww I LOVE Bitter Little Alanis =) Actually I do quite love this album and this song in particular. It's a handy little list of my favorite life lessons.

And she was awesome in Dogma. Dang I miss the 90's!

And what is this spell check you speak of :P

Anndi said...

My spell check? It's set for French.

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...in the immortal words of The Moody Blues: "...Lovely to see you again my fiend..."

desert rat said...

Welcome back! I suddenly have the urge to go jump up and down on the hood of a car.

Anonymous said...

You know it, darlin'!

DO
NOT
MAKE
ME
COME
UP
THERE.

Oh yes and Matt dear? Just so you know, the ass kickin'would hurt me far more than it would hurt you. xo~Hope

Jeff B said...

Ummm...

Every one of us?

I think the title of your post yesterday applies . . . "Hurt"

Travis Cody said...

Although I'm touched by your offer, which surely comes from the heart, I think I'll be ok with just a manly fist bump.

Lu' said...

Ha, I like your response to Jay about the Christmas card, it is so me. Jay I bet that Christmas card would stand right nice on the mantle. Matty Matty Matt-man man :)

Vodka Mom said...

I love damn Alanis. LOVE HER!!

Glad you're back almost. And remember, no whining. There is NO whining.

only wine-ing.

Anonymous said...

So...you're going to have sex with each and every one of us...like...at the same time? 'Cause I've never been to an orgy before.

Swwwweeet!

Dana said...

Normal - it's just a setting on the washing machine!

Welcome back!

Marilyn said...

Well, life is all about setting goals. I'm glad you seem to be feeling better.

Christo Gonzales said...

Sorry I didnt indulge in your 'matt fest' the other day - truth is I just dont feel that way about you...

Schmoop said...

Songbird: I would do that for you, but alas, I don't have one. Cheers!!

Metalmom: Expect a very lascivious email to that effect in your email very soon. Cheers!!

Cheesy: Ha. You are such a sexy rebel. Cheers!!

Schmoop said...

Kat: But of course. Care to be first? Cheers Kat!!

Starr: Alanis has her good moments. Hell, spelling isn't my problem; typing faster than my skills allow is the problem. Cheers!!

Anndi: Does your spell check shave its pits? Cheers Anndi!!

Schmoop said...

Phfrankie: As it is you, funny man. Cheers!!

Desert Rat: Will you do it bra-less and video it for me? Cheers Cutie!!

Hope: Ha. Spoken like a true, yet disingenous parent. Would your lips disappear when you were spanking me? Cheers Hope!!

Anonymous said...

I'm glad you decided not to call it quits! What would the bloggosphere do withoutcha?!

Schmoop said...

Jeff: Ha. Always the clever dick, ain't ya. Cheers Jeff!!

Lu: He's a sweetheart, but he needs to be kept in check once in awhile. Cheers Pal!!

Vodka: I may use that. Thanks Vodka. I dig ya. Cheers!!

Schmoop said...

Travis: Damn...I was so hoping to share a special moment with you. Buzz KIll. Cheers Trav!!

Giggle: Won't it be swell? And a Holiday Season Orgy at that. Deck My Halls, baby!! Cheers!!

Dana: Ha. I think you are correct about that. Fluff and Spin are fun as well. Cheers!!

Schmoop said...

Marilyn: Ha. Thanks Marilyn. I aim high, don't I? Cheers!!

Doggy: I'm crushed. Cheers!!

CrAzY: So am I. Always good to see ya, Tish. Cheers!!

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

I am with Travis...fist bump dude...

Schmoop said...

Bond: Prude!! Cheers Vinny!!

Unknown said...

Don't give me too much damn credit. I don't want to ruin my reputation. I still hate Bush, Obama, and the Gawddamn Bail out!

And just to top it off, it was 76 and rather chilly but sunny here in paradise today.