I am hung frickin’ over.
Wow, just wow.
Yesterday, we drank…a lot.
I managed to color Schmoop's hair.
I cooked. I made up a box of Stove Top dressing added cheese and hamburger to it and baked it in the oven.
It was actually good. There are no pictures of it. I couldn’t operate the camera by that point in the evening.
I did take this picture of Schmoop’s brother, David.
A Christmas song by The Carpenters was playing at the time. To which David interjected, “She’s sounds better dead.” I love him.
Schmoop took this picture of me and Corky sitting on Kelly.
Yeah, my glasses are missing an arm. I’ll get those fixed…at some point.
I did have sex last night. I think. Maybe. I mean…Hell, I don’t know. Perhaps Schmoop will let me know about that.
I did, in all my drunken glory, have it out with the cable company. I got them to reduce our monthly bill by 11 dollars per month.
I love arguing over stuff like that. I revert to my SEIU Union Rep persona and treat them as I did the prison wardens I used to mess with.
Reminded me of the time I got free carpet laid in my house some 10 years ago. I’ll have to write about that soon. It took place near Christmas time in 1999.
Okay, bitches. I have four more cards to do so I must be off. But first, I am going to lay back down on Kelly for awhile.
Whatever you do today, please do it quietly…please?
Cheers!!
48 comments:
Here, take this Aleve and call me later.
Vodka: Bless You. Cheers VM!!
Hmmmm... Sir Matt-Man, are you always so domestically inclined when inebriated? If so, come visit me: I'll exchange some grand Kentucky Bourbon for a bit of cooking and house work. You may even turn my white beard into something younger looking!
Nick: I would be more than happy to be your maid/cook/hair colorer in exchange for some bourbon. How could I turn you or the spirits down? Cheers Nick!!
Sooooooooooooo, when you coming, Dude?
Nick: As soon as my hangover passes. Cheers Nick!!
But, Matt-Man, I am almost 63 years old! I don’t think I still be around when your hangover passes!
GOOD MORNING MATT-MAN!!!! *shakes Kelly and swipes your blanket*
Wait, let me turn on all og the lights in the living room, and reorganize the pots and pans!
Did you want me to leave now??
Nick: Pfffft. If I continue at this pace you will far out live me. Cheers!!
Dana: I looooathe you and wish a thousand deaths upon your soul. Cheers Dana!!
HELLO!!!!!!!!!
HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IS ANYONE HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!
THIS PLACE IS A MESS!!!!!!!!!
MATT-MAN ARE YOU HERE??????????
HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Let me clean up a bit...
:::Loud banging of pots and pans and cabinet doors being closed::::
Bond: (see response to Dana, and multiply it by ten) Cheers Vinny!!
Sounds like an all round wonderful day off. Snuggle up with the kitty (behave), take a couple of aspirin and a little hair of the dog then take a nap. You'll feel better.
I've been told pickle juice helps cure hangovers.
oooooo 10,000 deaths....
ooooooooooooooooo
...would it be all right if I brought in the Stanford Marching Band to do a rousing 1812 Overture?...
Michele: Ha. I wouldn't think of anything sexual about you mentioning the "kitty". No, really. I'll be taking a nap later; I have to go to work at 5 tonight. Cheers to ya, Michele!!
Anndi: I used to drink pickle juice when I was kid. I still drink olive juice. I may go gulp some. Cheers Anndi!!
Bond: Do not scoff at my threats!! Okay, scoff away, I have no fight in me today. Cheers!!
Phfrankie: Y'know I don't think any time, even when one is hungover, is a bad time to hear a well-done version of the 1812 Overture. Cheers P-Man!!
***tiptoeing through Bagwine***
...I agree. Also, there is no bad time to hear the entire Dark Side Of The Moon album....
Cheesy: See, Bitches? Now there is a kind soul. Thank you Cheesy, I love you. Cheers!!
Phfrankie: Boy Howdy, buddy. Loooooove Pink Floyd. Cheers!!
I can't imagine an asshole like you ever getting laid. Who would have sex with your simple ass? "Cheers" Dumbass.
Islam: Well, your mom for one. She was a real minx.
Ha, it's so fun getting down and infantile once in awhile. I guess my humorous retorts are based upon the emotional make-up and IQ of the commentor. Cheers, Nut Job!!
I feel about like you do, but it was soooooo worth it!!! Yummy!!
I feel closer to you know that I know we share an affinity for olive juice.
While you're getting down and infantile, would you like to finger paint those last Christmas cards?
Schmoop: The food or the sex? Need the info. Cheers Baby!!
Anndi: Too Late...I did yours about a half hour ago. Keep in mind that I was hungover when I made it. Cheers Anndi!!
Both baby, but I was referring to the sex!!!
Schmoop: Well, I think I may have just blushed. Can we repeat it after I get off work tonight? I'd like to get naked with you while I am somewhat coherent and lucid. Cheers Schmoop!!
It's a date!! Ok this is my third comment, I am sooo done!
Schmoop: Man, I'm gonna write this date down. Cheers!!
Too bad I'm not anywhere close to you cause if I were I would have taken a portable CD player, a copy of Ann Coulter's latest book on audio with HER doing the narration, and set it up right next to you and turned it on full blast! And then just as you leaped out of bed to come after me, I would roll out a full sized poster of Michelle Malkin in a thong bikini blowing you a kiss.
That would probably finish you off right there. ;-)
Jay: Ha...Why do you hate me so? Cheers Jay!!
shhhh she is whispering her comment and then all of a sudden a car backfires a door slams shut and the cat runs across you bare thighs with claws extended while you are drinking a hot cup of coffee, or rather were drinking hot coffee :) Gotta love me :)
Matt...it seems you are gaining a new class of commenters...
Very low, down in the mud scum-sucking weasels that is
and I am NOT talking about jay either.
OK, I've given you till after lunch, feeling bettah?
That 11 dollars you saved should cover the postage of all the cards your sending out, huh?
geez with freinds like some of these...well, just say mean people suck :0) feel better soon!
*whispering*
I got my Happy Jeebus Day card today and I couldn't love it more - thanks so much Matt-Man!!!
Now, go back to quietly getting through the day...
((Hugs!!!))
Lu: Mmmmmmmm. You said "bare thighs". I like that. Cheers Lu!!
Bond: Are you speaking of Mr. Islam? I dig him. He makes me feel better about myself. Cheers!!
Micky: Ha. Now that you mention it. That is almost EXACTLY how much the postage will end up costing. Cheers!!
Do you realize you used the word "laid" in a non sexual reference?
Damn, you are hung over!
Knock, Knock...
Who's there?
Matt...
Matt Who?
Mattwho eyes won't open all the way!
Recoop, my man!
Snugs: They're not mean, just dysfunctional. Our relationship is very symbiotic. But thanks, dear. Cheers and have a good weekend, Snugs!!
Giggle: Ha. Glad you got it. I have to motivate now, for I must go to work. Ugh. Cheers GP!!
maintaining low tones!
hope you shake of that nasty brown bag flu soonest. meantime I recommend you give Kelly a full court press and remain still.
the cards can wait. there's still time.
quietly backing out of the room now...
Oh man, I hate hangovers. Being drunk just isn't worth it to me.
Feel better soon.
HI MATT! DOING MY BEST TO BE QUIET!!
Not.
You SEIU reps were always such hardasses. Or candyasses. Something like that. I, am having a day. I don't know if it is good, bad or indifferent as I have had only 1 cup of coffee, breakfast and lunch while operating a cash register and frigging phone will not shut up. I stop back to my desk every hour or so and some damn asshat has left me a message!
GRR.
You want me to be quiet? Right now?
Ahhhhhh
Ooohhhhh
Shhhhhh
Um, I want what RLL is having. Sounds fun ;)
Jeff: Wow...That is pretty amazing isn't it? Make a note of this day. Cheers Jeff!!
VE: Feelin' better now, thanks. Off of work and tippin' a few. Cheers!!
Dice: I'm all better now...Thank You. Cheers!!
Marilyn: I have that it takes less and less to feel bad too. Cheers Marilyn!!
Starr: Yeah, they're pretty big out there in Oregonia. I was a bad ass and incredibly obnoxious with management. Fellin' duckie now. Cheers!!
RLL: Ha. You are HAWT. Cheers RLL!!
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