Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Sellin' Beer and Savin' America

I’m off today. I like that. Being off is good.

But…

As I have said before, I actually enjoy working as I do in the beer mines at the Drive-Thru.

Pizza Bill and Owner Mike make things fun, and selling beer and wine is like selling the brilliance of The Almighty…

Alcohol: Proof positive that God would prefer his children to be drunk.

If only more people would have a drink or two, and then maybe there would be fewer uptight assholes in the world. Amen to that.

Anyhoo…As I mentioned the other day, Owner Mike and I have been playing a game at work called, Where’s Ryno?

We hide a picture of Ryno’s head in somewhere in the Drive-Thru and the other has to find it.


Yeah, I know we are both in our forties, but it’s fun, dammit!!

Here’s where I hid it for him to find Monday…



Ha, if all else fails, my kid could make a living as Mr. Zig-Zag. But let me tell ya, that damn well better be the closest Ryno ever comes to rolling papers.

I was off Monday but when I got to work Tuesday, I was staring into space as usual and happened to look up at the Grizzly tobacco sign.


Need a closer look?


Poor little buddy…his noggin had been placed in the mouth of the menacing, metallic Ursus arctos horribills, by Owner Mike.

It’s not all fun and games at work. We bleed customer service as we take care of our incredibly thirsty patrons.

And often, we reflect on how to make the world a better place. Take for instance, this picture of Owner Mike reflecting and ruminating while in his car.



See the smile? He is smiling because he just figured out a way to save the auto industry without a direct bailout.

Instead of simply handing the big three auto makers 30-40 Billion dollars of our money, Mike suggests this…

The Federal Government should issue a check to every taxpayer in the amount of $20,000.

The check has to be used to purchase a new car from one of the American car companies.

The owner will pay the difference if the car is pricier than that and they have to pay the tax on the car. So, the government will be getting some money back.

Demand for cars will shoot through the roof and thus auto workers will be working.

Feeder companies will be supplying, and the CEO’s won’t have the opportunity to waste the billions of dollars of our money.

Fucking Brilliant. Much like God intended, Mike is proof positive that selling and/or drinking beer makes one smarter.

And while he may appear to be a carefree, nearly always laughing regular Joe, he knows how to run a business and is pretty smart.

And if you think I’m sucking up or don’t believe me, just ask Schmoop, she grew up and went to school with him.

Now, if only Pizza Bill would let me take his picture…You could put a face with the other man with whom I work and who makes the best Goddamn pizza in the world.

C’mon Bill…Start commenting, let me take your picture, and embrace the wonderful world of the internets.

Cheers!!

42 comments:

Tug said...

Nice carharts Owner Mike *winkwink*...heh.

Schmoop said...

Tug: Ha. Isn't he a dashing figure...Okay he's warm anyway. Cheers Tug!!

katherine. said...

you have one of those "pay-to-play" gigs...

did Mike know you had this weblog before he hired you?

Cinnamon Girl said...

Pimping your boss. I like it!

Get Ryno out of that Grizzly. It makes the mama in me uncomfortable =(

Anonymous said...

Happy Wednesday! Bloghoppin' here... Hey, I have an interesting tutorial for you that I have written myself. It is about adding Adsense on your Single Post in XML template. I hope you'll like it! God Bless you!

Desert Songbird said...

I must be a frickin' genius, then, because I came up with the same bail out plans a couple of months ago.

Schmoop said...

Kat: Ha. I guess I do. And yes, he knew and knows all about it. And for this post after berating him, I got permission from him to put his picture on here. Cheers!!

Starr: I pimp him because I like him. He makes me laugh and is a nice guy.

And don't worry Ryno is out of the mouth. In fact when Mike or Bill get low on pennies in the drawer today there they will find at the bottom of the penny well looking up at them. Ha. Cheers!!

Schmoop said...

Hapi: Man, you are a giver.

Songbird: Of course you did. And I invented the internets six months before Al Gore. Cheers!!

Dana said...

Oh no! You brought another one to the dark side! And now you're aiming for pizza Bill too?

Schmoop said...

Dana: It's a gift. And it's proof that one must never misunderestimate the power and allure of Bagwine. Cheers!!

Meg said...

You have got to be the only beer seller I know, and I know a lot, who uses "with whom I work."

Owner Mike is cute. Is he married?

Schmoop said...

Fantasy: Ha. I very well may be. That's funny. And yeah, Mikey is married.

You can't tell from this picture because he has three tons of clothes on, but Schmoop has pointed out, he kinda looks like Brad Paisley. Cheers Meg!!

Tug said...

I'm just sayin'...I have a matching pair. ;-)

Schmoop said...

Tug: If you have Carhart panties as well, that would really turn me on. I mean, turned on more than typical. Cheers Tug!!

Liz Hill said...

For some strange reason I am wondering what the recycling haul will be when they find W's empties in the hidden stashes around the WH.

Owner Mike sounds way cool--and it's high time Pizza Bill gave up the recipe for that pie!

snugs said...

is it anything like where's Waldo? Mikey is hot, even with the beer in his uhm lap..

Schmoop said...

TB: I wonder what weighs more...the empty beer cans form Dubya's pad or the empty whiskey bottles over at the Cheney's digs?

As for the recipe...It's been in his family for decades, they use to run a pizza place here in town. I don't think he'd give it up to you...well, unless you "gave it up to him." Cheers Sexy!!

Schmoop said...

Snugs: Ha. The placement of the bottle wasn't planned, it was just a happy accident. I didn't even notice it when I took the picture. Cheers Snugs!!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...looks like his name oughta be 'Drive-By' Mike!...

Schmoop said...

Phfrankie: Ding Ding Ding!! You have just given me his new name. I was never happy with the name, Owner Mike. And...we were laughing during the picture because he was looking so "gangsta". Ha. Thanks yet again, P-Man. Cheers!!

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

Drinking and driving...tsk tsk tsk Mike...

So you sell drug paraphernalia in your store...

Wondering what else you sell there...

Durward Discussion said...

There's a darn good reason Jeebus did the water to wine thing as his first miracle. It's hard to fight when you are either having a good time or are too drunk to stand.

Love the $20,000 idea. Okay with you if I spend it on American made furniture?

Jay said...

I think I should be allowed to spend my $20,000 on liquor and porn. That would help the economy a lot too. And I'm all about the greater good, ya know.

Schmoop said...

Bond: First of all, he doesn't drink and drive and secondly those papers are intended for rolling fine tobacco products. Sheesh. Don't be messin' with our Drive-By Mike. Cheers!!

Jamie: Ha. Damn Straight. Ah, not a bad point. I think the Carolina region would benefit greatly from some furniture purchases. Good Call. Cheers Jamie!!

Jay: Funny you mention that. I will soon be posting my thoughts on a porn bailout. I will be intimately involved. You can help me as well. Just not the two of us together. I don't think that would promote the greater good for most folks. Cheers Jay!!

Anonymous said...

Owner Mike is indeed a genius! Together with you and Pizza Maker Bill, you guys could rule the world!

Schmoop said...

Giggle: Ha. Mike is a smart biz guy. Bill makes unparalleled pizza, and I ...well, I'm an idiot. Talk about your Holy Trinity. Cheers Sexy!!

Nicole said...

Wow...you guys are mature. You're a joke, Matt-Man. "Cheers"

Beth said...

Mike and Matt are definetly 12 year old boys!! Although, I've been known to act that way myself! Eff You Nicole!!

Schmoop said...

Nicole: Blah Blah Matt-Matt-Man. Blah Blah Blah Matt-Man. That's all I heard. It's like I'm a dog and you're the master. Of course, we both know those roles are reversed. Cheers Nikki, girl!!

Schmoop: Are you saying that we are immature? Hmmmmm? Okay, I can live with that. And by the way, can you kick Nikki's ass for me, so I don't come off as some type of misogynist? Thank you and Loves. Cheers Baby!!

Beth said...

Sure baby, no prob! I hate pretentious, no sense of humor bitches!!!

Schmoop said...

Schmoop: Ha. I share your hate, and in spite of that, for some reason I love you. ; )~ Kidding. I kid because I love. Thanks Schmoop. Cheers!!

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

So what...he drank the beer and then DOVE away

so he drinks and THEN drives?

LOL

Fine tobacco products...yup wacky tabaccy

Schmoop said...

Bond: No. He didn't dive into anything. And when is...oh nevermind. Cheers!!

Dice Mardell said...

Where's Ryno...

How cool (my kind of F U N damnit!!!)

Thanks for sharing.

Schmoop said...

Dice: And you showing up on here is my kind of F U N, dammit. Good to see ya. Cheers!!

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

I got you to say 'oh never mind'

I did it!

I did it!

Knight said...

I like Mike.

Schmoop said...

Bond: Bully for you. Cheers!!

Knight: Ha. There's nothing not to like...other than his OCD. Of course, his OCD is rivaled only by mine. Bill is the normal one. Cheers Sexy!!

Marilyn said...

I have a pair of Carharts like that... I want pictures of the PIZZA. That's like porn for cheese lovers.

Schmoop said...

Marilyn: I actually cruise restaurant sites myself. That's my porn as well. Cheers Marilyn!!

Anonymous said...

Matt Man, thanks for all the nice praise of my pizza pie. Ill have to get some subs done up for you next. And as far as the picture, you have never asked!

There is a picture of me on my prepaid legal website thats on your site, if anyone does want to put a face to Pizza Bill, and thats all they will see is my face and thats a good thing lol.

Pizza Bill

Schmoop said...

Bill: Your pie is da bomb. And Mmmmmmm, subs. We need a rough and tumble shot of ya not the nice clean, dressed shot that's in the Pre-Paid Legal ad. Saturday...be very afraid. Cheers Bill!!