Groped and Porked

I hope everyone enjoyed their Memorial Day. Me?

It was nice being home for awhile with Schmoop, but alas I had to go to work later in the day.

With the Memorial Day holiday and the weather being a bit muggy, I wanted to dress in a fashion that would accomplish a couple of things.

One…Contain a bit of red, white, and blue to highlight the Memorial Day theme. And two?

Limit the amount of ball sweat that I was to incur while moving about at the Beer Mine.

So, much to the chagrin of Schmoop, I left the house and went to work dressed in the following ensemble…

Tres’ chic, no? Of course it is. My sleeveless, Old Navy shirt to comfortably cover my overly chiseled upper body, and on the bottom half?

A pair of navy boxer briefs with a pair of standard, red, white, and blue boxers atop them!! I was looking Patriotic in breathable, American cotton.

My boys were grateful…They barely worked up a sweat, and my taint stayed dry and happy. I was feelin’ good, however…

I detected snickers and slight smiles of bewilderment from some of our patrons, yet they refrained from commenting.

Until one of our regulars (we’ll call him Butch, because well, that’s his name), spoke up while sporting an askew glance upon his mug.

“Do you know that your underwear are on the outside of your shorts...or are those pajama bottoms?”, Butch asked.

I said that neither was true…I was technically wearing two pair of underwear, and it felt good.

Butch responded…“Well it’s a good thing God doesn’t judge us by what we wear.” And he drove off, wearing a crooked smile and all the while shaking his head.

Now, there was a minority of one who evidently like my cutting edge summer garb. A chick who comes through on a fairly regular basis laughed when she pulled in and saw me.

I approached her door and asked her what was so funny. She said to me, “Are those shorts?” I said, “Well, yeah!!”

She then asked me to turn around, and I did. Upon completing my manly twirl, she grabbed my ass, and said, “Whatever you’re wearing…it works for you, sweetie.”

I appreciated her comment, but I tell ya. I was very offended by her incredibly firm groping of my butt.

Only my desire to be groped by hot women professionalism held me back from voicing my displeasure with her violation of my body.

But I ask you…Aren’t many styles and makes of boxer shorts no different in appearance than typical “outerwear” shorts? I’m not crazy am I?

Because seriously, I thought I looked much like I was wearing a typical pair of shorts with something akin to compression shorts underneath.

Just askin’, all y’all.

Lastly, Drive-By Mikey stopped by last night at work and brought me some pulled pork and some incredibly delicious sweet sauce.

Ol Mikey slaughtered one of his pigs and he and his wife had a hog roast at their farm Sunday.

I want to thank them for it, because let me tell ya…Roasted, Smoked, or otherwise Cooked, Ohio hog tastes oinkingly good.

As was this, and I appreciate Drive-By Mike and his wife for porkin' me.

Have a lovely Tuesday, all.

Cheers!!