Katherine tagged me to write a post that utilizes the word, “retarded”.I don’t usually bow to the pressure of such meme-type requests, but it’s Kat, and she’s…well…HOT.
So I acquiesced.
Many folks think that to use the word, retarded, in reference to one’s intellectual capacity, is incredibly offensive.
I find it to be many in cases, dead, balls-on accurate. I even use it in that vein upon myself from time to time.
Look it…I’ve talked about the amount of weight I have lost over the last couple of years. One bad thing about that is that my clothes don’t fit.
I have T-Shirts that come to my thighs. Hell, some of the shirts make it look as though I am wearing a house dress.
Typically, I use them to sleep in.
Well the other morning at 4 A.M. I woke up in a semi-conscious panic. I had to get my ass to the bathroom and do some serious fecal extrusion.
(I had eaten fried SPAM, cottage cheese, and butter beans the night before.)
When I was done and began to wipe my ass, something felt funny. I’m thinking to myself…
“What the hell kind of toilet paper did Schmoop buy? This stuff feels funky!!”
Well folks it wasn’t the toilet paper at all that was causing my butt hole consternation…My hand full of toilet paper had caught the dangling house dress of a T-Shirt that I was wearing.
I was wiping my ass with the T-Shirt!! Smelly, suffering from Irritable Bowel Syndrome, and half asleep, I uttered unto myself…
“God Damn It, Matt…You are a fucking retard!!”
If a person refuses to allow the use of THAT word in THAT situation, THAT person is, well retarded.
Listen…I’m an asshole, but I don’t take offense when I hear a person call another an asshole. Suck it up folks.
Sometimes, there is just no other word that captures the complete and utter imbecility of a person better than the word, “retard”.
I ought to know, for I am so often on the receiving end of hearing it. And…
More often than not, it is completely justified.
Cheers!!
27 comments:
Tard~~
Cheesy: Ha. That be me!! Cheers and Happy Mother's Day to ya, Cheese!!
I was thinking more like fucktard
In an emergency I use my tube socks...T-shirt umm nope never done that sober.
Songbird: I like that phrase quit a bit myself. Cheers!!
Hammer: Ha...Holy Cow. Aren't those a little thick? Cheers Hammer!!
FYI, retarded is the Federally approved word for mental impairment. I don't believe that fucking retard is but I could be wrong. What is really retarded is eating Spam, cottage cheese and butter beans. What were you thinking? Ciao.
Even retards think that's pretty retarded.
I tarded to matt!! My name is William - BILL for Short.
Pizza Bill
Michele: Don't be dissin' my SPAM; it is high brow cuisine, Cheers!!
Jay: Ha. Damn straight. Thanks for confirming my point and my retardedness. Cheers Jay!!
Pizza Bill: Ha. Isn't it comforting to work with your own kind? Cheers Bill!!
...when I was a kid there were lots of retards runnin' around...midgets, too...
Phfrankie: Ha. Y'know, I'm not a big fan of midgets. They kinda creep me out. What with (to piggyback on an Austin Powers' carny folk line) "They have small hands...smell like cabbage." Cheers!!
I think I'm gonna lose my breakfast now, don't know for sure if it's the visual or the menu that is geting to me most..there should be a warning of some kind when you are going to your gross place so that the weak stomach readers will know to skip that post, Cheers Retard :)
Snugs: Sorry about the mess, but warnings are no fun. Life is sometimes unpleasant, as are early morning movements. Cheers Snugs!!
Back in the old days, when I was knee-high to a grasshopper, and forced to endure hours of agonizing piano lessons, retard meant a "slackening of tempo." That is, "slow."
Slow can be good in soooo many ways *wink*
Have a great day, 'Tard!
PS. I like the cigarettes in your nose, 'Tard.
Metal: Ha. You said "gay". I'll be covering the use of that word tomorrow. Cheers!!
Desert Rat: Ha. Yes it did mean that, and yes, slow can be good. Glad you liked the high brow art shot. Cheers Rat!!
What the hell kind of dinner is that? Your poor bowel.
I've called myself a retard and numerous other unflattering terms many times.
But I balance it all out by showering myself with compliments other times. I make myself blush. :-D
Cheers, Matt!
Note to self...stop coming here while eating lunch...
thanks you retard
Lizza: Ha. Self-Complimenting is a great thing, and don't worry...My bowels are quite used to such concoctions. Cheers Lizza!!
Bond: Are you saying that that doesn't sound delicious? Cheers!!
Excellent Matt, just excellent. I got my Tard on this weekend ;)
And man I gotta say I am with Michelle. The T Shirt was an unfortunate accident. Eating that dinner? Retarded!
Matt-Man: Neither the meal nor your using your t-shirt to wipe your bung-hole is appetizing...
*circles date on calendar*
I cannot believe that I am actually seeing the day that Matt-Man did a meme. Now that's retarded!
Starr: Good to know you 'tarded out. Hey now, I dig butter beans and SPAM. Cheers!!
Bond: Oh Baby...It gets better on Tuesday. Cheers Vinny!!
Dana: I know...but that is quite unusual for me, but I am retarded. Cheers!!
I can't beLIEVE I missed this. I went back to San Francisco with Rhiannon last night...and haven't read anyone today.
I am soooooo happy you only showed us the FRONT of the dangling house dress of a T-Shirt.
How come the words idiot and stupid are politically correct?
you are the balls on retardest!
you do me proud.
Kat: Don't worry Kat, the shirt in the picture wasn't the one in question. Thank you, and waking up to read you say "You do me..." gives me morning wood. Cheers Kat!!
two things here...first and most important....Katherine is hot..
and second...that's why I sleep in the nude....no shirt to dangle where it shouldn't be...
Teamster: You are such a rebel. Cheers!!
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