In the course of Monday and Tuesday’s dissertations, I did some whining…some complaining.
Well folks, I am done with that.I am looking forward to the summer of ’09. In fact the summer of 2009 is going to be known as, The Matt-Man Summer of Love.
I’ve got my summer shirt on and switched from Red to Wild Fruit Rose with Ginseng. Yeah, Baby!!
You see, a few things have happened to me recently that have affected me in a profound and life altering way.
Allow me to ’splain.
A few days ago, Schmoop got the mail, and there among the bills, coupons, and my long anticipated Enzyte sample, was a large manila envelope.
It was a package sent to me from my buddy…that uber-adorable and sexy scientist, Desert Rat.
She sent me a cute post card that denotes the dry Arizona heat in which she lives, along with a note AND…
A satirical magazine about Truckee, CA. that is disgusting, funny, and offensive in a campy kinda way. It made me smile. I didn’t know it was coming.The caustic witted Rat had come across the mag, thought of me, and took the time to send it. That is nice. I dig that.
But I have another heart warming anecdote for you…The other day at work, a guy who I have never really cared for that much, came through.
He did something quite kind. No, not a blow job, you pervs…he saw that I undercharged him by a dollar and he let me know. Nice…and I thanked him.
Well, shortly afterward, a guy whom I do like, came through with his adorable daughter who is probably seven or eight.
He wanted a 12 pack of Bud Light and asked if he could get a sucker for his daughter (we hand out little suckers).
She looked at me with a most precious look. Not a smile. Not sadness. I couldn’t really define it. She just looked so damn cute.
I thought to myself…well, since the one guy saved me a dollar why don’t I use one of my own that he saved me and buy the girl a Hershey's Bar?
So I did. And her face lit up when I brought it to her along with the sucker and her dad’s change.The dad came through alone Tuesday, and said to me, “That was really nice of you. My daughter told me that we should ask for a sucker every time. Ha.”
So there you have it. My life has changed. This is going to be The Matt-Man Summer of Love. I am going to be completely civil and caring throughout the warm days ahead.
No more rude sarcasm on here. No more hate filled rants. No more jokes about retards. I am all about the love.
And if you’d like to see just how much…Drop me a line, and we can set a time and place in which to share my love.
I will try my best to love you all and more importantly, go the entire summer without being abrasive and crude. I think I can do it, do you?
Cheers!!
52 comments:
"I will try my best to love you all and more importantly, go the entire summer without being abrasive and crude. I think I can do it, do you?"Matt-Man going all mushy on us all summer?"Umm .. well, we'll see how this works out. I went along with the Lent thing, but you're on your own with this idea dude. LOL ;-)
I don't know why that's all in one paragraph. I didn't type it that way. I'm having all kinds of trouble with blogger tonight.
Jay: Have you no faith in my ability follow in the footsteps of Gandhi, King, and Christ? I'm hurt...but I still love you.
And I too, have had a few problems with Blogger of late, but I am sure they are doing their best to correct any problems and I wish them the best. Cheers Jay!!
No more rude sarcasm on here. No more hate filled rants. No more jokes about retards. I am all about the love.
Hmmmmmm.....
Micky: Your typing of, "Hmmmmmm" contains a rarely found lyrical lilt to it not found when others type it. Very Nice, Mick. Cheers!!
Oh there you go, just being nice. Ha
Micky: I'm all about the love now, Mick...all about the love. Cheers!!
You are sooooo full of shit!!! Zoves!
I will try my best to love you all and more importantly, go the entire summer without being abrasive and crude. I think I can do it, do you?Nope I don't think you can and more importantly I wouldn't want you to. Who wants an entire summer of schmaltz? Not me if I did I'd just watch the Hallmark channel non stop. You might meet your goal more realistically if you call it the Matt-Man's May of Love.
Schmoop: That's what the Sanhedrin said about Jesus Christ. I'll take your words as a compliment, turn the other cheek, and write you a pretty poem. Cheers!!
Lu: Don't think of it as schmaltz. Think of it as a man who has come to grips with the reality that he can do more through loving others rather than making fun of them. I'll still be funny and maybe even hotter...if that's possible. Cheers Lu!!
AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!! Help Me!!!
Well, this makes it so much easier.
I have had troubles seeing any blogs at work, so I come home at lunch and try and get through my blog roll-- but now that you are turning into the Disney Channel I can skip your damn a** and not bother stopping here.
And now I understand that saccharine comment you left for me today. I thought it was true man-love, but I see it is only your new Stepford Wife demeanor.
Schmoop: Listen...Did I not thank you for the coffeee this morning, take you to work, send you off with a warm, yet non-threatening kiss?
Perhaps the only help you need, is to realize the power of human beings acting...humanely. Love and Cheers to you!!
Bond: My comment to you this morning on your site was heartfelt...it had just been repressed.
If you skip my blog because of my emotional epiphany, I understand and will love you no less. Cheers my good man!!
See now I can't leave it at that thinking you might think I really meant that but you could've, Matt-man could have. Where for art thou man of mirth with acid toungue of cheek? Oh fuck it ha ha ha
Lu: Ha. I am still a man of mirth and frivolity...and sex. After all, that's part of the entire fulfillment of love. I'm just a much calmer and accepting person now, full of love for all. Cheers!!
Just remember to put 'we kid because we love' at the end of the snark filled rants and everything will be a-okay
TB: Oh sure, I could do that, but I would skipping down the path of insincerity if I did. As you have known me for a couple of years...
You know that when I have used that line in the past, I was most likely, lying. Cheers TB!!
...I think someone got too heavy of a dose in their sugar cube...
Phfrankie either that or he hit his head on the pane while tripping over the barrel that he didn't see through the haze...
Phfrankie: Not at all..I have just decided that I can live a better life through love of my fellow man. Is that so wronnnng? Cheers!!
Lu: Wanna help me spread the love? I haven't tripped over anything and everything works just fine. Cheers Pal!!
You are right Matt-man of course it is better to spread the love. You will succeed and triumph over desire for mean spirited satire and ill will, bravo.
P.S. this cool-aide is good :)
Lu: See? I am glad you have seen the light. It's like I am lighting a candle and passing the flame onto others much like the guy who pointed out the fact that I undercharged him. We're paying it forward, Lu. Cheers!!
Oh I get it and got it but I do not accept the flame baby that just isn't me I rather like being mean around the edges :)
Lu: I hear ya, and I used to be rough around the edges as well, but I have covered myself in a new fabric, and that fabric, is Love. Cheers Lu!!
See what happens when you switch to Wild Fruit Rose with Ginseng??
Just one question. Oops, I mean just one MORE question ...
Will you love me LONG time??
Excellent move, my friend. Now where in the hell is MY chocolate bar?
Dana: I find it encouraging that you capitalized the words "MORE" and "LONG". That is what I am all about this summer for anyone who wants to share and experience my love. Cheers!!
VE: Thanks, it still puts a smile on my face. As for your candy bar? You get yours everytime that I go to your site and Snicker....Yeah, I know. Cheers, VE!!
Jesus. Someone go piss in Matt's cheerio's so we get the real Matt back :P
Can't wait to hear Desert's take on this!
Starr: I don't eat cereal, but I think it's nice that you want me to eat Cheerios so I can lower my cholesterol over the next six weeks by 4 percent. I love you for that. Cheers!!
Creeper.
Starr: Does that mean you are rejecting my love? I mean, I gotta plead ignorance on your comment. Cheers!!
Poor Schmoop. It must be like living with a Moonie :P
Starr: I'm not a Moonie...I'm a Mattie!! Cheers!!
I have called the local authorities in Bagwine and the apartment is being quarantined...
Bond: Who are you? Did Dick Cheney get to you and tell you to quell all good vibes? Cheers!!
Oh Matt, honey. I own numerous vibrators and I can speak from experience when I say, these are NOT good vibes.
These are spooky "Drank The Kool Aid", "Let's All Wear Adidas And Worhship A Comet" Vibes :P
(Inserting finger down throat)
blah aacchhh
Starr: Vibrators? Schmoop threw her's out three months after I moved in. Yeah, I have that much love, and am good at it. Schmoop!!? Cheers!!
Micky: I'm gonna have to work on your love for humanity. Cheers!!
Songbird: I am sorry that I have, over the years, enabled the hate, but I am soooo done with it. Cheers!!
I knew I could count on The Songbird to bring it. Preach on, Sister!
And Matt, seriously, nobody liked Mr. Rogers. Quit channeling him.
Ya tool :P
Starr: I have already gotten positive emails from my change of heart. I think it's a good change. Cheers!!
It only takes a spark, to get a fire goin' [la la la] and soon all those around, can warm up in it's glowin' [la la la]. That's how it is with Matt's Looooove... once you've experienced it... you want to sing, it's "fresh" like [a] spring... you want to pass it on... [pass it on... pass it on...]Just a little ditty there to help kick off the Matt-Man Summer of Love.
Yes, sniff, the caustic witted Rat has a soft and tender side. Of course that could be the endocet talkin' (or singin' as the case may be).
I just knew that "Truckeewood" would bring you minutes, I mean hours, of entertainment!
Excellent move with the Hershey bar - but going all summer without being abusive and crude!? Yikes! (looks around to see if there are any flying pigs...)
Oh please tell me your recent spate of "fans" aka the crazy fuckin bitches are taking this seriously. That will put a big ole smile on my face.
Desert Rat: You did me a favor...You're action kicked of my Summer of Love. Here's to endocet, vicodin, and Free Love. And thanks again. Cheers Rat!!
Starr: Are you calling me a phony? I am shocked, nay, outraged!! But I love ya. Cheers!!
"There ain't nuthin' more powerful than the smell of mendacity!"
Big Daddy - Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.
You'd be better off giving up meat again than the giving up the crude and nasty.
Starr: And that is so very true. Cheers!!
Hammer: I don't know if I'd be better off, but giving up the meat again would be much easier. Cheers Hammer!!
Plying wee gurlies with candy? The perv I know and love lives on!
Cheesy: Oh hush...She was cute. Cheers Cheesy!!
oh geez.
you really know how to tick people off...
I know I am days behind...I wonder how long the love lasted....
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