Even When I'm Off, I Am Sooooo On

Ahhhhh Saturday. I am off today, and since Ryno's Uncle and his family are in town, I have nothing to do.

Of course, just because Ryno will be tied up with his cousins, leaving me with no plans or commitments, don't think for a minute that I will just be some type of Saturday slug.

I don't laze around on my days off. Take this past Thursday for instance...

Schmoop and I were both off, so in between taking Ryno to a couple of places in the morning, I took the time to go to the store in order to pick up some much needed refreshments...

Schmoop decided to do a little painting in the bathroom. I was taste testing the beer when I heard Schmoop say: "Hey. I need more white paint in my can."

Seeing the position that she was in when she voiced her need, you can understand that I didn't know if she was actually asking for more paint or if she was coming on to me by talking dirty.

Anyhoo...Shortly after her brief painting gig, she entered the kitchen where I was standing still doing some taste tasting.

I caught her in a light that really highlighted some gray in her hair. As we like to lives of full disclosure, I said to her: "Wow. The gray in your hair is blinding in the light of the kitchen."

Her response to my statement left little to the imagination as to how she felt about my keen powers of observation...

In order to make up for it, I decided to make things right. I broke out the Garnier hair color, and offered to color her hair for her.

I hadn't noticed this before, but I was amused, aroused, and convinced that the number of the color on the box was a foreshadow of things to come later that evening...


Well, I sat her ass down in a chair in the kitchen and soaked her head with the toxic follicle flavoring and proceeded to work it in like only I can...

Doesn't she look thrilled? Of course she does. Behind that pained facade, lies one happy woman. Anyhoo, after 35 minutes the process was complete and the invasive, silver locks of age were replaced by a head full of intense auburn glory...

She still doesn't look too thrilled, does she? I know that her apparent disdain could not be the result of the company she is with. Maybe she's hungry. Shall I cook something, I asked myself. I did...

What is that gorgeous looking meal, being served on our finest china, you ask? It is Loosemeat Stroganoff Casserole. I invented it on the fly.

I baked ground beef, egg noodles, sour cream, secret herbs and spices, and gave the whole thing a splendiferous topping.

The orangeish stuff you see is the crust that baked on top. I made the crust out of Lay's Sour Cream and Onion Stax, Butter, and Cheese. Schmoop looooooved it.

Man, on my day off Thursday I carted Ryno around. I went to the store. I colored Schmoop's hair. I even invented and cooked a delicious meal, and guess what else I did...

After the the food and drink were consumed, I took Schmoop and her gorgeous new head of hair to the bedroom, and finally got around to doing what she mentioned earlier in the day...

I "filled her can with plenty of white paint", babies. Oh yeah I did.

I am one selfless 21st Century Renaissance Man. Who knows what this day off will hold for me... and for others?

Cheers!!