Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Michael Vick: PETA Can Suck My Cock…or Rooster, or Falcon, If That Would Make Them Feel Better

Michael Vick, the former Quarterback of the Atlanta Falcons is trying to find a job…a job that he is, if he gets himself back into shape after a long layoff, eminently qualified.

As a Quarterback, he is not the greatest of All-Time, but he is dynamic, exciting, and he has made and probably could still make some football magic happen.

Alas, he got involved in a utterly horrible situation that involved dog fighting…a situation that involved betting, Auschwitz-Type treatment of dogs, and no concern for anything but himself.

It was not good.


However, Vick has served his twenty-three months in prison. He has lost everything.

He wants a chance to recoup some of his lost finances and dignity by playing once again in the National Football League.

The NFL, thanks to Commissioner Roger Goodell, seems to want to allow this to happen.


However, a certain group, close to my soul, but not in a good way, wants to prevent this.

Of what group do I speak? PETA!! People For The Ethical Treatment of Animals!! They can suck it…and, for a couple of different reasons.

PETA, in spite of Vick spending nearly two years in prison, losing millions of dollars and his reputation, want him to undergo psychological testing prior to being reinstated. WTF?

I heard some turkey necked, pigeon-headed motherfucker from PETA say on the Ed Show on MSNBC last night that Vick needs to be tested, and may even need some type of “brain scan”. Ha. I checked…it is the official position of PETA.

Here is a group of well-intentioned but slug nutty morons wanting some kind of Vulcan Mind-Meld done on a free man. They can bite my kippers, suck my snake, and lick my oysters. It’s Bullshit.

I’ll tell ya…


If Vick was a man (or woman) found guilty of this, and was trying to get his/her job back as a meter reader, fast food worker, or plumber, there would be no official statement from PETA. They wouldn’t care.

And why is that?

Because drawing attention to those types of folks doesn’t raise money.

However, if Vick is reinstated to play football and hitches up with a team, PETA can boycott and demonstrate in front of at least 16 well attended events a year, some of which may be nationally televised.

Listen folks, I believe in redemption. I believe in a second chance. I believe in the moral of the story of Job. Vick has done his time.

The only thing that PETA believes, is that people are vessels placed on Earth in order to hurt dogs, baby seals, and Sea Kittens.

Well there is one other thing in which they believe…

They secretly do want Vick reinstated because if he is, they can protest him for 16 weeks every football season and raise some serious cash.

I find this not only funny, but ironic. You see, PETA needs to raise cash in order to continue, but from whom will they raise that cash?


Sand Dollars...?

Nope, from the creatures they hate the most…humans. Ironic, no?

Cheers!!


Addendum: Tomorrow I will respond to Kat's comment from yesterday that said I Christian bash too often. Please join me, The Almighty, Jeebus, and our Special Guest, Micah for that one. Amen.

58 comments:

katherine. said...

It was a good thing ole' Rog is letting Vick play. If he is letting players convicted of spousal abuse play he best be letting Vick...who paid his debt to society...play.

I was seriously gonna go bugfuck if he wasn't reinstated. PETA probably doesn't approve of going bugfuck either..

Matt-Man said...

Kat: You are absolutely correct. I know why the Vick thing is such a controversy, and I bet it comes up in the comments at some point. Cheers Kat!!

Desert Songbird said...

I've heard it said that he shouldn't be reinstated because he's never shown any kind of remorse. Well, that may be true, but he's paid his debt/served his time. I think he should get another shot. Yes, I'm an animal lover, and no, I do not condone animal cruelty, but c'mon. He's been imprisoned already. Let him earn a paycheck now.

snugs said...

I also beleive in second chances even though the dog lover in me detests what he did. This is a really thoughtful post Matt!

Jay said...

I think they did the right thing by giving Vick a chance to redeem himself and get back into the NFL. It's not the league is full of choir boys or something.

He did his 23 months and everything he ever had was taken from him. At some point it has to be enough. Sheesh.

And yeah, PETA, like most other advocacy groups, is definitely more about raising money than actually making a difference. They share that trait with lots of other organizations that actually work against their own stated goals just to continue to raise money and cultivate power and influence.

MysteryChick said...

I wonder if PETA members and those militant pro-lifers all hang out together in their time off.

Every time I hear anything from PETA I just want to stick my fingers in my ears and yell "shut the fuck up!".

I hate what Vick did, but give me a break. He paid for his mistake, leave him alone.

Karen said...

The guy served his time. There is no reason he should be denied the chance to return to his job. Like Jay said, it is not exactly like you need to be a canonized to play in the NFL. (don't tell anyone that I actually agreed with something Jay said! LOL)

PETA sucks. But that is just my humble, fur-wearing, steak-eating opinion.

Andy said...

Vick is/was a subpar quarterback. His records are average. He did the time, if he is truly redemed, let him play. I have a cold six pack that he will suck and probably hangout with PacMan at strip clubs in Vegas.

Scott Oglesby said...

I’m all for what PETA is supposed to stand for, but they take that shit to Dante’s 9th level of crazy. I’m an animal lover to the core, but I do understand something that’s been lost in all of this; it is the culture in which you are raised. Living here in Spain and traveling half the world, I realize that culture makes all the difference in the world. The Spanish treat all their animals like working animals. They actually do some things that would be considered torture. Bull fighting is probably torture. But things are looked at differently. It’s like the super born again fundamentalist Christians; if they were born in the desert they’d be the first ones strapped up with virgin meeting powder. Sorry,- I got off track.

So I hate what he did, but yea he should be free to play again.

doggybloggy said...

we hate pussy's and faggots less than we hate nigger dog fucks - what is this world coming to?

Matt-Man said...

Songbird: Damn right...I heard the remorse comment as well. WTF? What the hell else can the guy do or pay back? Cheers!!

Snugs: Of course what he did was gruesome and barbaric, but he paid the piper. Cheers and Thanks!!

Jay: Indeed my good man. PETA is made up of Al Sharptons of the Animal Kingdom. Cheers Jay!!

Matt-Man said...

Chick: Ha. I say that very same thing when I see a group of them on TV. In fact I said it yesterday when I hear that geeky spokesman of theirs. Cheers Sexy!!

Karen: Ha. Jay is insightful isn't he? I agree and here's to fur wearing (or in my case, leather), meat eating mo-foes everywhere. Cheers!!

Andy: Hee Hee...It is a distinct pleasure having you in this forum now. I'll tell ya what...If you're correct, that would be one helluva party. Cheers Andy!!

Matt-Man said...

Scott: You make me laugh, so please, continue to get off track as much as you'd like. Cheers Scott!!

Doggy: I don't know if that is true or not but I do know one thing...

Where you are concerned, I know that you shouldn't blog while drinking or are off of your meds. Cheers Bow Wow Boy!!

Cheesy said...

Yes he paid his debt... but somehow I think his actions are coming back to bite him in the ass,,,, although that is what I wish the poor pups had done to him!

Matt-Man said...

Cheesy: I think they already have. As it has been stated, I'm sure the NFL will keep him on a short leash. Cheers Cheesy!!

Micky-T said...

The ugly parts of human nature will never change.....

Matt-Man said...

Micky: No they won't, but in this context, I don't know what you mean by that. Cheers Mick!!

Lu' said...

I over react to any act of cruelty to animals. I'd like to have flipped the switch on Vick. But, he did serve his time and hopefully saw the error of his ways. I think he should have the chance to rebuild. Hey if he fucks up again, then we can flip the switch. Let he who is with out sin cast the first stone or something like that.

Matt-Man said...

Lu: Sadly, millions of people out there not only over react, unlike you, they pursue their feelings of wanting to "flip the switch" if an animal is treated badly.

Even more sad than that is that many of those same folks don't feel the same outrage over humans being treated inhumanely. Cheers Lu!!

Micky-T said...

dog fights, cock fights, man fights, etc.

Matt-Man said...

Micky: Gotcha...I was involved in some type of cock fight some twenty five years ago. Two hot babes were fighting over who was going to experience the joy of having sex with me...It hasn't happened since. Cheers Mick!!

Bond said...

I am not even sure why GODdell had to give him 6 more games...What, so the opening weekend is not overshadowed by Vick's return? He will not be in football shape until ATLEAST week 6 if not later...

katherine. said...

While doing his time, Vick has been counseled by Tony Dungy...and will continue to be mentored by him as he comes back to the game.

In my way of thinking Dungy ranks up there with Landry and Walsh...and wouldn't be supporting Vick if he didn't think his remorse was genuine.

why not respond to the smoking comment...

Lu' said...

Oh I inflict pain in my head to all the dontdeservetolive assholes that hurt animals, children or cause intentional harm,pain and suffering to another living being but my actions are tempered with reason always tempered with reason.

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...The Oyster Lickers would be a good name for a band...

Matt-Man said...

Bond: I dunno either...and hell, that is actually all I gots on this one...wow, write this date down. Cheers Vinny!!

Kat: Dungy is a good man...as for the smoking? Why write about something upon which we agree? I just don't want to right now. Cheers Kat!!

Lu: I understand that as I do it myself on a daily basis. I wasn't including you in the nut job category. Cheers Lu!!

Matt-Man said...

Phfrankie: "The Pearl Divers" could open up for them. Cheers!!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...vendors selling fish tacos...

katherine. said...

the pearl divers opening up for the oyster lickers

actually choked on the coffee

Matt-Man said...

Phfrankie: Fish Tacos...There are so many jokes there. Cheers!!

Kat: Well, it makes sense and adds continuity doesn't it? Cheers Kat!!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...man walks in to a lesbian bar and orders a fish taco...

Matt-Man said...

Phfrankie: And she says...? Your bait doesn't work here. Cheers!!

David said...

I think that Vick paid the price for his evil adventures so let him return to society and his job.

As for PETA, they have a good mission but they go so very far overboard they seem berserk.

Matt-Man said...

David: I am glad that you commented. You need to start your own blog. You're funny and insightful. Cheers!!

Bond said...

I freakin' stumped you? How the heck did that happen?

Starrlight said...

This is the same PETA that wanted to put down all of Vick's dogs, btw.

The only PETA I am down for is People Eating Tasty Animals.

Cause seriously, I can't stand animal abusers but there are plenty of human rights violations happening around the world that these people seem oblivious to.

katherine. said...

not only oblivious to human rights violations...but some become the perpetrators....here in Santa Cruz they firebombed two university employees homes in the middle of the night.

well not really two because they got the wrong address for one of them and firebombed the wrong place...obviously not the brightest bulbs on the tree.

The other one resulted in a family of four (including two small children) having to go out their second story window into their back yard cause their house was on fire.

Cause white rats should be saved, but human children should be harmed.

Starrlight said...

Exactly Kat!!

Cause I'll be honest here. Dog Fighters do it for money. I get that.

PETA acts out of stupidity and ultimately hurts the cause they purport to stand for by looking like a bunch of idiots. I don't get that.

In my opinion animals deserve better champions than these pseudo radical asshats with the collective IQ of a ficus.

katherine. said...

starrlight...damn girl I've missed you

Starrlight said...

I'm feeling moderately more peppy lately. I was so tired by the time we went on vacation and then so swamped when we got home that I was mentally limper than a wet dishrag.

Matt-Man said...

Bond: I don't know...but it is a significant moment. Cheers Vinny!!

Starr and Kat: What I like most about you two is that when you guys get on here at the same time, I don't have to comment or anything. I just acknowledge you two and you guys do the rest. Cheers!!

Starrlight said...

We try, Matty, we try ;)

Micky-T said...

Kitty cats play with their prey before they kill.
Sweet little things that they are.

I find interesting that a few years back I found out that a lot of the "save the animals" people(I know I have the IQ of a ficus whatever that is, it's not in my dictionary) tend to be women. (if I just started a fight I'm not finishing it) My brother as a trapper keeps tabs on most all "save the animals people" and as I was looking through all his bulletins and monthy updates I noticed that all the major contributors and board of directors were 90% women. Hmmm

I wondered how many of them own cats.

katherine. said...

totally believable...I'd bet the majority of donors to Meyer, Swaggert, Baker, et cetera are female as well. Although most of those who followed Jim Jones to eternal koolaidland were men.

As for your IQ Micky...I would have guessed it was much higher...but if you want we can start callin' ya "benjamina" from here on out....

Micky-T said...

What's a benjamina is it in the dickstionary?

katherine. said...

here ya go Mick

Micky-T said...

Now THAT, I can wrap my brain around, "a weeping fig".

Thanks Katherine, you bet, you can call me Benjamina.
That's Sicilian right?

katherine. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
katherine. said...

either sicilian or irish

ya just gotta picture Starr and Songbird and I swatting around some poor creature between us....praying over our prey....

Starrlight said...

We are going to pray for them? We must be going soft-hearted in our old age ;)

Micky-T said...

I'm afraid, terrified actually to be playing in Bagwine amoungst felines without someone like Matt-Mann watching my back.

katherine. said...

awww.....come here Benjamina...I promise if won't hurt a bit....

Marilyn said...

I love dogs and the man is probably mentally unbalanced (unlike us, your perfectly balanced readers), but there is no "brainscan" that would do that. He was punished and now it's time to move on.

PETA and its mindset has made the whole world crazy. I had a conversation about our town's deer infestation with the neighbor lady that went something like this.

Me: Are they going to let folks bow hunt them at the golf course this year?

Her: Oh no. There was a huge outcry against that. They are like pets and it isn't sporting.

(They are pests and I wish I had a venison steak each for one tenth of the deer that I've chased out of my yard this year.)

Bond said...

Kat and Starr...I am telling you...you two should do a BlogTalk Radio Show together...You would be #1 in like one episode..

katherine. said...

I'm not sure that is in the cards for me....maybe if Starr was game...one night when Dr Blogstein needs a fill in...a high holy day or something.

Starrlight said...

I'm game if you are Kat. Tequila is still cheap after all. We'd have to pick a theme though. Something outrageous enough to work with the Cuervo ;)

Matt-Man said...

Holy Cow...I come home and it's a free for all. I dig it!! Cheers!!

Matt-Man said...

Marilyn: Oh how I have missed ya, and you're right. Deer are every bit as much of a problen here in Ohio. They run through houses, wreck cars, and they're over populated. Hey, somtimes Bambi needs to be put down. Cheers Marilyn!!