Just in time for President Obama’s birthday today, those wacky Birthers who don’t believe that Obama was born in the United States have some post-natal proof that is going around the internets.
The proof? A picture of Obama’s real birth certificate showing that he was born in Kenya. Damn straight bitches…
August 4, 1961 our President was born in Mombasa, Kenya.
Led by a nut job lawyer named Orly Taitz…oh excuse me, Dr. Orly Taitz, the birthers will take Obama all the way to the Supreme Court and stick the knife of truth into him.
Seriously, this Taitz chick, who claims to be a lawyer, dentist, and real estate agent was born in Russia.
I’m thinking that she wasn’t just born in the Russia…Taitz was born in the Soviet Union.
And the plot thickens…
If Taitz was born in the Soviet Union, that makes her one of them there God Damn Commies!! Uh huh…I just went there. And my friends, this is where it gets really interesting.
Obama’s parents birthed him in Kenya and had him magically transported to Hawaii on the same day so he could grow up to be elected President of the United States 47 years later. The KGB caught wind of this scheme.
Led by an 8 year old Vladimir Putin, the Soviet KGB did a little scheming themselves and created one, Dr. Orly Taitz who would later be integral to their plan of world domination. But first, there was groundwork to be laid.
During the late eighties and early nineties to add realism to their future plans, the Soviets would make it appear that their iron-fisted, Communist country had collapsed and broken into free, autonomous countries.
The young Taitz would grow up, immigrate to the United States some years later and produce the goods on the Obama conspiracy after his election. This of course, would throw our country into chaos and a Constitutional crisis.
With America reeling from these events, the former Soviet Republics would once again coalesce into their former souless, totalitarian state and smash our nation into tiny, tiny pieces.
Those fucking Soviets are some clever sunzabitches. But…they didn’t plan on the Matt-Man being around to expose their diabolical plan.
Wake Up America!!
So what if Obama spent a couple of his nascent hours in Mombasa? His parents had the foresight to use time travel in order to get him the hell to Hawaii, and later become our President.
Would you rather be governed by Obama, a guy who was born in Kenya, or ruled by Putin…
An evil, godless Commie who is constantly flying over Sarah Palin’s house in a MiG-29 while wearing a Speedo?
I thought so…Instead of getting behind the pod-people Birthers and Orly the Soviet Operative, get behind the Matt-Man, and as you line-up behind me, I’d like to hear you say…
“Thank You. Thank You, Matt-Man for saving The United States of America.”
Happy Birthday Mr. Kenyan-Born President, and…