It became official on Friday.
The largest denomination of Lutherans in the U.S. has voted to lift a ban that prevented sexually active gay dudes and lesbos from serving as ministers.
The delegates of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (ELCA) which claims a membership of 4.7 million people, voted in Minneapolis Friday on the issue, and the results…?
Praise the Lord and Pass the KY Jelly!! Or, to quote Martin Luther…
“Be thou comforted, little dog, Thou too in Resurrection shall have a little golden tail.”
Well praise Jeebus ye of Lutheran faith, there is going to be a lot of golden tail preachin’ in your churches.
I mean, hell, I don’t think it’s a big deal. Episcopalians allow gay ministers. The United Church of Christ allows them as well, and as we all know…
The Roman Catholic Church allows not only gays into the priesthood, but pedophiles as well.
Hell, for decades, Priests have been nailin’ young boys harder than a Roman soldier hammerin’ a spike into the Lord.
In fact, I hear that when a Priest gets assigned to an all-boys Catholic High School you can typically hear him shout:
“Praise Jeebus, for in the Lord, there lies abundance!!”
Anyhoo…where was I? Oh that’s right…the fucking Lutherans.
I think what the delegates did was great. Gay people should be permitted to serve the Lord and his flock. In a way, gay men specifically, because of their sexual habits, would be more adept at serving a flock.
I also think it is very appropriate that the ELCA held its convention and voted to allow the inclusion of gay people into its cadre of clergy while in the city of Minneapolis.
After all, Minneapolis is where Sen. Larry Craig, eschewed his closeted gayness, and tried to tap toes and make time with an undercover cop in an airport bathroom. God is one clever son of a bitch.
I really do hail this as a step forward, but there is some talk that this vote will cause a schism within the ELCA…so be it.
Those who decide to split from the Lutheran Church over this inclusion can suck it…so to speak.
I do think however, when gay Lutherans start conducting services, the names of the churches in which they pastor might need to reflect the changes.
For instance in Bagwine, if a gay guy becomes the pastor of Zion Evangelical Lutheran Church, it could become re-named, The Manhole Bar and Eucharist.
If some lesbian chick takes over the holy reins of Grace Evangelical Lutheran Church, it could become known as, Grace, Betsy, Juanita and What the Eunuch Saw Evangelical Lutheran Church.
Once again, Matt-Man…Here to Help.
Well that’s it for today. Sunday is the ex’s Birthday so this morning I am taking my 14 year old son and his size 13 feet out to get his mom a present.
Hmmmmmm? 14 years old and wears size 13 shoes…?
Praise Jeebus that my kid doesn’t go to a Catholic School full of Priests.