Thursday, September 10, 2009

Truthers, Birthers, Rachel Maddow, and Glenn Beck Need Not Apply

Well my friends…President Obama addressed Congress last night outlining what he wanted to see in the way of a Health Care Reform bill.

I thought it was a pretty good speech, in spite of amateurish Congressman Joe Wilson (R-SC) screaming at the President, “You Lie”. C’mon Joe...classless, rude, and stupid is no way to go through life son.

Anyhoo…

Will Obama get what he wants? Will Congress do anything substantial? Eh, I doubt it. Today’s Congress is far too polarized and representatives are far too self serving.

And, because of their propensity for inaction and off the wall claims toward each other from both Democrats and Republicans, I have decided to form a third party. And yes, I am serious.

I know; there are a number of third parties out there…

The Libertarian Party. I have a huge Libertarian streak that runs through me, but as I do enjoy drinking coffee that doesn’t contain shit, I appreciate government run wastewater treatment plants.

And fire departments…I like fire departments. Plus, the 2008 Libertarian Presidential candidate was Bob Barr. I mean, c’mon…Bob Barr?

The Green Party. Are they an annoying, pretentious lot or what? I’ll cut back on my electric use and recycle when I can; quit giving me grief about it.

You guys are emotionally exhausting, and you only have political clout in places where the majority of voters eat gorp and wear Birkenstocks.

The Constitution Party. You’re still riding the success of that 200+ year old document? Anything new?

Oh that’s right, the 27th Amendment which affects Congressional pay raises and was originally introduced by James Madison finally passed in 1992. Zzzzzzzzzz.

There are others, but most of these third parties aren’t serious or are single issues types of parties that have no broad appeal. I, along with others who want to join, am going to build an effective third political party.

With the help of relatively new Bagwine reader and center-right guy, Clay Perry, the platform for this party is already being discussed. But, before we can fully go to work on that, allow me to toss a few thoughts out there.

This party is for people who are open to differing views, can think critically, and most importantly, can think for themselves.

Truthers, Birthers, and other gray matter deprived nut jobs who hang on every word uttered by folks such as Sean Hannity, Keith Olbermann, Glenn Beck, and Rachel Maddow, need not apply for membership. We will just make fun of you.

If you’re interested, I have a couple of things to ask of you. Let me know through comment or e-mail what things should be in our platform. Secondly…Our party needs a name.

For me, The Bagwine Party, came to mind, but then I thought…People would call us Bagwiners. I don’t like the connotation.

The "winer" thing makes us sound like we are politically correct Nanny-Staters, and of course that is a group whom this party will stand firmly against.

So, give me some ideas so that I can get to work on getting a design for our logo.

That’s where I am with this idea so far. I want to pick a local or regional office for which this party can field a candidate in the 2010 election cycle, so time is of the essence.

Help me out folks…Help yourselves out, and help this country out.

Cheers!!

19 comments:

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...in the spirit of Seinfeld, I submit The Superman Party. The platform: Truth, Justice and the American Way...

Jay said...

Will there be alcohol served at this new party? Cause if it's full of a bunch of puritans who don't drink I can't be a part of it.

katherine. said...

I think I'd like to know more about the platform before I suggest a name.

Matt-Man said...

Phfrankie: Ha. Any name involving a Seinfeld reference has to be strongly considered. Cheers P-Man!!

Jay: Well of course this will be an alcohol friendly organization in fact, another name I thought of was, The Party Party. Cheers Jay!!

Kat: That's more than fair. Clay has given me several ideas already as to the platform. I think it should be a broadly appealing platform seeing as he is center-right and I am left. Please give me your platform ideas if you'd like. Cheers Kat!!

Micky-T said...

Well..... if the government wasn't running TVA I bet we wouldn't have 50 billion cubic feet of coal ash spilt into the Emory River.
They new they had a problem, so they took the long, lazy way to try to fix it, which didn't fix it.
We got the ash!

Micky-T said...

Sorry I have to make a correction...that's 5.4 million "cubic yards" of coal ash.

Michele said...

Hey! I eat gorp and wear Birkenstocks. Can't I play with you guys?

I am a little worried though; there doesn't seem to be that many open-minded, critical thinking and rational Americans out there right now. Or at least not in Texas. I may have some trouble with my party membership numbers.

David said...

Considering your rational reasoned voice on matters of the day, I'm thinking something along the lines of The Coherence Party or The Syllogism Party. Those don't really roll of the tongue though.

I gotta disagree with you on the matter of Rachel Maddow. I don't watch her show consistently but I do see it or clips from it regularly and it seems to me she brings a calm informed voice to the issues she discusses.

My real question for today is: Was Joe Wilson actually smoking the joint of the joint session? But seriously, what is up with SC republicans these days?

Cheers

Dana said...

Hey now ... I voted for Bob Barr ... even though every time I said his name I thought of The Price Is Right. C'mon down ... you're the next contestent on ... nevermind ...

I'm with Katherine, it's tough to come up with a name when all you know about the party is that they aren't Dems or Repubs, although that's enough to get me to join!

Matt-Man said...

Micky: Well that's certainly a problem. A comprehensive environmental and infrastructure plank will be a part of our stance. However it won't include saving every snail darter and banana slug. Cheers Mick!!

Michele: By all means, just don't get uncomfortable if I eat pepperoni pizza in front of you. As for the numbers? I am looking for quality in our membership, not quantity at first. Once our clear thinking common sense shines through, the numbers will follow. Cheers Michele!!

Matt-Man said...

David: Ha. Not bad suggestions at all. However, Syllogism may be lost on the public. I watch Maddow every night, she tries to be cute, funny, and surperior all at once. It's incredibly annoying. Cheers David!!

Dana: Ha. I know you did. It proves that one should not go to the polls drunk. I will have a draft of the major platform positions in the near future. Cheers Dana!!

katherine. said...

hmmmm....ideas for your platform.

I guess to start I would be curious to hear the party position on:

minimum wage
executive compensation limits
human trafficking
cap and trade
NAFTA
immigration/illegal aliens

as I said...to start...

Desert Rat said...

Definitely interested. I'm with Kat - need to understand the platform before suggesting a name.

Have a great day, m'dear!

Matt-Man said...

Kat: Duly noted...I can tell you off hand, NAFTA was the only thing that really stuck in my crawl about Clinton. Well, that, and he should have cheated with a woman who had bigger fun bags. Cheers Kat!!

Matt-Man said...

Rat: Well give me some ideas for the platform. Send some nude pictures of yourself as well. Cheers Rat!!

Micky-T said...

I think your platform should consist of two by ten joists @ 16 o/c enveloped within a double two by twelve boxed frame with a cap of p/t three quarter standard ply.

Matt-Man said...

Micky: Hee Hee. If we ever get to the White House, you will be named the head of Housing and Urban Development. Cheers Mick!!

Starrlight said...

Well the Common Sense party is what I have always dreamed of.

I'd like to know how you are planning balancing discrimination (hate crimes) with staying the heck out of peoples uteri and bedrooms.

Matt-Man said...

Starr: I am against any Hate Crime Legislation. No one's life is worth any more than someone eles's. I think if someone assaults, murders, or oterwise takes or screws up the life of another, it already implies some temporary or complete hate for the other.

As for abortion and sex acts that are consensual that's fine. After all, if Biblical Freaks are going to give me grief about being in favor of abortion because it goes against "God's Plan", they must also say that fertility drugs go against "God's Plan". Cheers!!