Saturday, November 28, 2009

State Mottos

I was feeling pretty good after work Friday night.

I was having a few cocktails and watching College Football. I watched the end of the Pitt/West Virginia game and then began watching the Boise State/Nevada tussle.

Thinking about Pennsylvania, West Virginia, Idaho, and Nevada reminded of the time when I used to post State Mottos long ago on my site.

They never seemed to elicit too many chuckles. But, I figured, what the hell, let’s post a few once again. Some of these are new, some I came up with back in the day.

Florida: Where East Coast Jews Come to Die…

Montana: Keeping Canadians at Bay Since 1889...

New Jersey: Fuck You…

Nebraska: Gateway to Wyoming… (My apologies to Jay’s family)

Wyoming: You are Now Leaving Nebraska…

West Virginia: It’s a Family Affair…

Alabama: You Ain’t From ‘Round C’here, Are Ya..?

Pennsylvania: Yes, We Think Rick Santorum is Crazy Too…

Maine: One Syllable is Plenty…

Nevada: Cheat on Your Wife All You Want, One of Our Senators Does…

Utah: Cheat on Your Wife All You Want, With Your Other Wife…

New York: We Gots the Greatest State in the Union. We Gots the Big Apple, The Yankees, Broadway, and the God Damn Finger Lakes. And You Know What the Finger Lakes are Doing? They’re Flipping Your Sorry Ass Off and Saying Fuck You…


Alaska: You Betcha!!

Those are a few…

I can never seem to come up with a good one for Ohio. Maybe it’s because I live here. If you can think of one for my beloved, home state, lay it on me.

Have a wonderful Saturday, all.

Cheers!!

13 comments:

Scott Oglesby said...

I personally love these types of posts. New Jersey was priceless.

Ohio; How the fuck can water catch on fire again?
Ohio; Come and see why we are the birthplace of AA!
Ohio; We have Hall of Fames, and we are the proud home of Drew Carey, and ….uh….uh….no, that’s about it.

Sorry about the Ohio abuse, I’m just pissed that you brought up the Pitt game. God mother fucking Damn it. Can they ever win a fucking big game?

Matt-Man said...

Scott: Ha. Birthplace of AA. I love it.

Sorry 'bout the Pitt game. They have a chance at redemption next week against the University of Cincinnati and UC doesn't have a whole helluva lot of defense. Cheers Scott!!

Jay said...

I don't think I can beat "Birthplace of AA" for Ohio. That's awesome.

Matt-Man said...

Jay: It's hard to top funny and accurate. Hope you're having fun. Cheers Jay!!

Webster World said...

Larry Flynt too?

Matt-Man said...

Webster: Although as an Ohioan I'd love to claim Flynt and he got his start in Dayton, he was born in Kentucky. Kentucky should advertise that fact. Cheers and thanks for the comment, Webster!!

jme said...

Ohio: Home of Mo Fo Matt-Man. Suck it.

Matt-Man said...

JME: I actually dig it. I'm calling my State Senator to put it in resoluton form. Cheers!!

Dice Mardell said...

and what about CA?

OHIO:
Oh-Hi-and Oh yeah...suck it!
We really are the coolest (in their simplicity) group of letters compiled to make a state.

I know that Mike Tyson has a palacial estate in OH, and they have great food. I passed through there only once on a trip from PA to NY. It was FUN.

Matt-Man said...

Dice: You should become the de facto spokesperson for oHIo. You do it better than I. Chers Di!!

Michele said...

Having driven through Nebraska a couple of time we believe the the state motto is,
"Nebraska - Best Seen at Night".

"Oklahoma - of questionable value".

Per David Letterman -
"North Carolina - 4 million people 4 last names".

Bond said...

NJ is actually "fuhgeddaboutit motherf**ker"

David said...

I enjoyed this post and love making fun of/satarizing stereotypes. That having been said, having lived the first 30 years of my life in West Virginia, I'm always befuddled by that stereotype - in all my life, I've never known anyone in WV married to a relative. I should at least know a few.

Cheers Matt-Man