Sunday, December 27, 2009

Sunday Morning Church Disservice: A Personal Dichotomy

It’s going to be a snowy and blustery day in Bagwine, Ohio this Sabbath.

As I am manning the Beer Mine from 11-7 today, I ask for your prayers that the warmth and glow of the newly born Baby Jeebus keep me warm.

Funny thing about this time of year…

Christmas is over, but most folks are still in a good mood.

Maybe it’s the lingering aura of the Messiah’s afterbirth lying on the straw strewn floor of a Galilean manger; perhaps it’s more the anticipation of the New Year.

Who knows why the joy of Christmas lingers..?

Whether it’s a glob of supernatural, pacifistic placenta or the hopes of getting laid on New Year’s Eve, this time of year is wonderful.

I think that between the Nazarean Natality being celebrated (whether one believes or not), and the coming of the New Year, many people look at this time as a fresh start.

I dig the attitudes of the people that I encounter at this time of year. The sarcasm is softer. The cuss words are fewer…

My attempts of getting hot chicks that come through the Beer Mine to sleep with me, are met with a chuckle rather than a call to the police.

This is one of the few times that we celebrate the death and ending of something rather than mourning its passing. Its quite an odd, yet joyous time.

I am one who does not celebrate the passing of anything or anyone. Oh sure, when Jerry Falwell died, some said that I was glib and almost happy about it.

I was NOT happy about it. In fact, when Falwell keeled over, I was in grief over the fact that the Devil now had another foot soldier to serve within his army of sin.

I dread the day that Joyce Meyer, Benny Hinn, and Rod Parsley kick the offertory bucket. When they do…Satan will have the group he once only dreamed of. But I digress…

Anyhoo…I don’t know where I was going with this. Maybe it is just a way to innoculate you to the fact that with the coming New Year, I may be introspective this week.

I know how you hate it when I am introspective rather being one who spews my 13 year old kid humor. So, I thought I’d give ya all a heads up.

Until tomorrow my friends…



3 Men and a Lady said...

I enjoy the merriness of this time of year, too. Attitudes are actually better AFTER Christmas I think, since the stress of shopping and get togethers are past.

People in the Sun said...

Sometime in January we realize we're going to let ourselves down and fail in keeping our resolutions, and that this year is going to be as miserable as last year, and that life is an endless cycle of self-defeat. This pretty much affects the rest of the year. We get optimistic again in December.

Josh said...

Great blog, really funny. Good reads!! Take it easy, keep it up ..

Matt-Man said...

Lady: Another good point. I think you are correct about that. Cheers D!!

PITS: Ha. That was quite the uplifting comment. I really don't make resolutions I just try to be and do better in general. Cheers PITS!!

Josh: Thanks for stopping by, and thanks for the comment, Josh. I hope the ladies and wine of Spain are treating you well. Cheers!!

Micky-T said...

You are a master at spewing, keep up the good words.

Matt-Man said...

Micky: Ha...I spewed Christmas Night. It inspired a song:

I Came Inside You at Midnight Dear.

Cheers Mick!!

Dianne said...

I have found that you can manage to be introspective in a 13 year old's way so I think you'll be able to keep everyone happy ;)

Jay said...

My theory on why everyone is so nice and happy during the holidays is because they are all pumped up on happy pills and wine. That's the only way they can deal with all the family members being around all the time.

The pills and wine wear off around mid-January. ;-)

Matt-Man said...

Dianne: It's a gift. Thanks Di, and thanks again for the call. Cheers Sexy!!

Jay: I think you and Lady have probably captured the reasons for the jovial season quite well. You are so frickin' smart. How'd you manage that while living in Arkansas. Cheers Jay!!

Dana said...

Thanks for the introspective warning! This usually means that I am less offended than usual when visiting :)