Saturday, December 26, 2009

Christmas Is Over But The Party Goes On

Christmas is over and I hope yours was all that you hoped it would be and more.

Actually, I hope it wasn’t more than you wanted it to be because that would be just selfish. And that is soooo, anti-Christmas.

Of course the holidays continue what with New Year’s Eve fast approaching and today marks the beginning of Kwanzaa.

So, be on the look out for Bantu Claus going house to house tonight dropping off toys to good little black kids, and stealing flat screen TV’s from their crack smoking parents, or more accurately...their parent.

For my full take on Kwanzaa you can click
HERE. It is pretty funny, if not incredibly offensive.

Anyhoo… I would be remiss in my duties if I didn’t mention my Christmas.

Our family gala Christmas Eve was fun as always and my Creamy Christmas Pasta Salad was a big hit. No, I’m not kidding…everyone dug it, and dug into it like a pack of ravenous wolves.

I stayed all night as I always do on Christmas Eve with Ryno and his mom. Being the selfless motherfucker that I am, I cooked them breakfast Christmas morning, and then Ryno opened his presents.

He got some great stuff such as Glow in the Dark boxers…large sums of cash…a new basketball, and center court tickets to a Cleveland Cavaliers basketball game on February 6th among a ton of other stuff.

Other than the tickets to the game, his favorite present was a winter hat that he had requested. His grandma refuse to buy it because she would not be responsible for him wearing it.

No fears, Mom came through and here’s the end result…

Tres Chic, no? It’s as if my son wanted a hat that says, “Hey world!! Look at me and my funniness!!” I have no idea from whom he gets that attitude. But, the hat looks so bad that it looks good on him.

The rest of Christmas Day here at the Bagwine digs consisted of Schmoop and I just hanging out and tipping a few with her brother Dave who stopped by.

We also stopped by Pizza Bill’s house briefly in order to pick up one of his uber-delicious pizzas. I thank him for taking the time to make it for us, on Christmas Day no less.

We were also fortunate enough to receive a Christmas phone call from the lady who is the catalyst for my nocturnal emissions…Dianne.

I only talked to Dianne for a short time as the conversation was hijacked by Schmoop and Di rattling on with each other.

Schmoop was thrilled to get to speak with Dianne’s son, her son that Schmoop finds incredibly hot. So nice.

When Di’s son was summoned to talk to Schmoop on the phone, her son asked, “Who am I talking to Mom?” To which Dianne replied without hesitation…

“It’s the girlfriend of the man that your mom wants to have sex with.” So warm, so Christmassy, so Dianne.

There you have it my friends…I hope your day was a good one.

Today I am back to work, but only from 11-4, so later today the revelry shall begin anew and hopefully I will have sex for the second day in a row. That would be quite a feat…for me.



Phfrankie Bondo said...

...yes, but why would you want to "re-wrap" your presents?...

Matt-Man said...

Phfrankie: I could leave it unwrapped, but it's cold outside today. Cheers P-Man!!

David said...

Glad to know everyone loved your pasta goop. :-)

That hat is uuuuggly but Ryno pulls it off. I bet it is plenty warm and for sure no one is likely to steal it.


Micky-T said...

I fricken LOVE the hat. That young man just got some big points from me.
Glad you had a great day with family.

Anonymous said...

Ha ha love the hat. Wow, so you stay all night with your ex (well, not WITH WITH your ex, but at the same house I mean)on Christmas Eve for the sake of celebrating with your son? That's pretty cool of you both to do. MY parents wouldn't have done that. Glad your pasta was a hit, I wondered how it would go over.

Merry Kwaanza lol ;-)

Anonymous said...

Glad you had such a good holiday, Mattman. Been lurking mostly, but had to come out and wish you and yours the best. Glad you recovered so well. It's been a while! xox Hope

Dana said...

Sex? Two days in a row? Schmoop has definitely gotten stuck in that Christmas giving crap ... I need to talk to her!

Matt-Man said...

David: Not so fast my friend...These hats are big around here. Someone could steal it. Cheers David!!

Micky: Ha. Because of your post the other day, I thought of you immediately after he put it on. Cheers Mick!!

Lady: I like the hat too. And yeah, we get along most of the time but that took quite awhile. Hope you had a great Christmas. Cheers!!

Matt-Man said...

Hope: Thanks Hope. I hope you had a good Christmas and keep up the good work. Cheers!!

Dana: She isn't giving as good as she is getting. At least in my mind. And by the way...Your comment about my salad below? That was just plain hurtful. Cheers Dana!!

Dianne said...

talking to you and the effervesent Schmoop was THE best