Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Tiger Woods and His Mistresses: Whores One and All!!

I’ve been thinking about Tiger Woods and his steamy, adulterous, sexcapades with his nine or whatever mistresses during his short marriage.

I think, “Holy Cow!! Nine different women!? It’s a shame that he got busted at the turn or he could have played an entire course.”

I also think about the women with whom he has cheated. I can’t help but think that as much as any golfer hates to be in the rough, all of Tiger’s babes probably have shaved hoo-ha’s.

But I guess those facts and/or hopes of mine are quite inconsequential…anyhoo…

Poor Tiger…I heard late Monday, that his wife, Elin Nordegren has moved out of their palatial estate, helping to deliver a blow for justice for his evil, sinful, cheating behavior.

Tiger is now merely another pig shit sucking man who got caught fooling around on his wife. May the women of the world rejoice. And they do.

During the coverage of Tiger-Gate I have heard women (and some men) describe Tiger as a jerk, cheater, immature playboy, and selfish.

Yeah, maybe so, but…

Tiger is a big boy and can handle all of the names that people are throwing at him, but I think he deserves a break from the verbal assault.

How about we take a day or two off from attacking Tiger and level pejoratives and names at the opportunistic skank ho’s who slept with him?

That’s right…The mistresses? Pfffft, they’re not mistresses. They’re money grubbing bitches who care nothing about anyone but themselves, and they all knew what they were doing, who they were doing, and how big the potential payday was.

I have heard a couple of them say, “I really thought he loved me.” “We just clicked on a number of levels.” “Blah, blah, blah.”

Gimme a break. Tiger was into the cheating in order to keep his sex skills sharp by practicing on different courses, and the nine or whatever bitches were in it for an eventual payoff.

Well, the whores have their payoff. Elin has Tiger’s balls, and Tiger is left holding the bag. Tiger is certainly guilty of screwing up, but I think his amorous accomplices are getting off without being outed for what they truly are…prostitutes.

And why are they not being vilified? Because they’re women…Women who were obviously "unwillingly and unknowingly spellbound" by that lecherous and conniving man, Tiger Woods. Fuck em’, they’re as guilty as Tiger.

As for Elin? I have mixed emotions. She was cheated on and that in a word, hurts.

However, if she is re-negotiating her pre-nup and asking for guaranteed money to stay with Tiger without a thought as to how she and Tiger truly feel about each other, isn’t she just doing it for the money as well?

To me, Tiger is not alone in this mildly amusing yet sad episode. And, this unfolding scenario isn’t pitting a lone man, a chorus of concubines , and an estranged wife against each other.

It is evident that it is pitting a group of rattlesnakes against each other and each and every one will soon be spitting venom in order to protect their fortunes or promises thereof.

Cheers!!

39 comments:

Scott Oglesby said...

This is starting to get really strange. I mean most men cheat, even if it’s only once because of some insecurity. To be hitting every whore within a 10 block radius, it must be something big. What the F88k does Tiger ‘F88cking’ Woods (and that's how he shall be referred to forever more) have to be insecure about? I’m seriously wondering if Elin was doing fellow Swede King Federer right in front of him and making him ‘catch’ the spill? There has to be something we don’t know. Something is going to come out that will blow our doors off.

Doc said...

I had a female co-worker who happedn to be black tell me that she and her friends are p.o. ed because Tiger was only cheating with white women? No what kida sense does that make?

Lu' said...

Doc, HA! I can believe that.

Poor Tiger fell off his pedestal and landed flat on his, dick! I hear that can be painful. I can't cotton, ha, to cheaters in my play book it is just w.r.o.n.g. To do it with nine different women and counting well that is just stupid.

Matt-Man said...

Scott: Who knows what went on between them. It is getting interesting however as it has just been reported that an unidentified woman has been taken by ambulance out of the Woods' house. Stand By for News. Cheers Scott!!

Doc: I heard a frequent caller to a radio talk show that I listen to early on Saturday mornings. She is a black woman and she was raising hell about just that. Go figure and WTF? Cheers Doc!!

Lu: I agree, but what about the women? Cheers Lu!!

Dana said...

Ha! I just had this conversation with a female co-worker who was talking about what a douchebag Tiger is ... then I reminded her the douchebag had a willing partner!

Matt-Man said...

Dana : Damn right. Tiger AND the chicks were all willing, ready, and able. The chicks too, were giving a big ol' FU to Elin. Meeeeeeow. Cheers Dana!!

Micky-T said...

Poor Tiger! Poor, poor Tiger.

I think all this trouble he has managed to get himself in with all these women is exploding, because he has a little dick (for a black man) and all the woman expected more.......he he he

Matt-Man said...

Micky: They were expecting more alright, but I don't think it had anything to do with the size of his putter. Cheers!!

Lu' said...

The women, well I think they suck probably, they are more at fault than Tiger. Most (not all) men think with their dick or so I've heard but... For these women to have slept with him there is no doubt in my mind it was for their 15 minutes of fame and the almighty greenback. So what if they had to get that greenback by laying on theirs; ho bags!

Matt-Man said...

Lu: Well there ya go. And as for me? I haven't let my dick think for me since the day years ago when it led me to ask some angry, bi-polar chick to marry me. Cheers Lu!!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...The Shaved Hoo-Ha's would be a good name for a band...

snugs said...

I predick that he will end up in rehab for sex addicts...I honestly don't know how he ever had to to play golf!

Matt-Man said...

Phfrankie: It would indeed...especially if the group was an edgy, all-female polka band. Cheers P-Man!!

Matt-Man said...

Snugs: He will indeed go into rehab for sex addiction, painkiller addiction, and then go on Oprah and apologize to the world. The bitches in question will sell their rights to Lifetime Network to produce a TV movie. Cheers!!

Lu' said...

Matt-Man and you have been spaking that bad boy ever since haven't you HA!

Matt-Man said...

Lu: Hee Hee...Of course, but not always because of the mistake he made. Sometimes, it just feels right. Cheers Lu!!

Lu' said...

Oh you believe in tough love *wink*

You know one thing, some of those broads will regret their choice to bed the wedded duffer once they themselves are put under the media miroscope. Not even a close shave and hot bath will make them feel clean after that.

Matt-Man said...

Lu: Ha. Well said. Cheers Lu!!

You can Call me AL said...

I never knew golfers could get so much strange!
You will now find me at the course...DAILY!

Matt-Man said...

Al: It's always the quiet ones who get the strange. Hope you're well. Cheers Al!!

Rich Sands said...

Very nice, and your point about the women is well taken.
Let's go a little easy on Tiger. Without even trying, he can have women the likes of which you and I can only dream of, not just sometimes, but EVERY day. I'm not endorsing marital infidelity, but I'm just saying...

Matt-Man said...

Rich: Two things...I live with a woman who is every bit as hot as his "sexy" tryst mongers.

And...Making love to a different woman "EVERY" day is easy, keeping the same one satisfied over a lifetime takes skill. Evidently, Tiger has nothing on me, so I need not dream. Cheers Rich!!

Schmoop said...

Preach it brother!!! Whoo!

Matt-Man said...

Schmoop: Smooch. And I do it without the aid of a billion dollars that would artificially inflate the size of my wanker. Zoooooves and Cheers Baby!!

Jay said...

You called this "mildly amusing." I disagree. I find it VERY amusing.

I cant wait for the divorce!

3 Men and a Lady said...

I think the women involved are definitely a bunch of whores. Nasty, trashy whores. I am especially laughing at the 1st one who denied and denied it and was claiming defamation from Elin. She seems like the one that had the most class (out of the other women)and what "class" she had is now gone with all her "he loved me" and lyinh crap. LOL.

And if it's not bad enough to be cheated on, to find that one of them was a porn "actress"... I'd make him suffer. I hope Elin gets him good.

Matt-Man said...

Jay: It was the ugly streak of PC showing through in me. Enjoy the mess as I will. Cheers Jay!!

Lady: The first chick had a press conference scheduled and she canceled it because she was one upped by a "new" mistrees. I love it.

And don't diss porn actresses...Some of them are my best friends. Cheers D!!

Four Dinners said...

I've never been convinced that we (men) are capable of being monogomous. It's in our genes...or jeans if you prefer.

Personally I've been (mainly) monogomous with Caz - how the hell can you be mainly monogomous? - primarily because she knows what John Wayne Bobbits wife did to him with a carving knife.......

Just as well for Tiger his wifey chose a golf club really....

Clay Perry said...

i may just be old fashioned... but i find cheating spouses and the people they cheat with to be the top of the list for showing a lack of honor and character. the women here dont even have the lame ass excuse of not knowing he was married... when you make a commitment to a person to be in a life long relationship with them, it means just that, life long. if the two of you are ok with bedding every cheap ass looking porn slut that tosses her tits at you, then fine, go for it... but something tells me that his wife wasn't too happy with his behavior...

as far as him not cheating with black women.. that confuses me.. black women are pissed because they weren't represented in the whore category?

Bond said...

This story ran its course a week ago... the rest is for the courts to hash out...

David said...

If a couple has an open relationship, then who they sleep with is only their business and not a problem. Otherwise, they are cheating scum. And while this has diminshed my opinion of Tiger, I think the women are money grabbing ho's cause they all had to know he's married. There are women (and men) who are attracted to money and power like the proverbial moth to the flame. This is why Monica was hot on the trail to give Bill the bj and soak his cigar for him.

But geez Louise, it has been entertaining to watch the parade.

Desert Rat said...

He's a great golfer - probably the best we will ever see.

Great golfer does not necessarily equal great human being; however, I do not believe we have the right to hold him to some sort of higher standard just because he kicks ass on the links.

I'm disappointed in his behavior but this who screwed who is irritating and between the parties involved - not US. Let it go.

Candice said...

I agree with Snugs. He will go to sex rehab just to get people off his shit.

In reality, he's no sex addict. He's just a man who had plenty of options and went with it. Give any man that option and see what they do. Not ALL men fuck around, but the overwhelming majority do, and certainly WOULD if they could.

I do agree that the women he porked are out for the money and 15minutes. It's all pretty pathetic in my humble opinion.

Michele said...

This is why we can not use sport figures, politicians, industrialists, etc as role models. They are people and some people are inherently stupid.

Guys with perceived power lose their power to think with their brains and not their dicks. Women are drawn to men with perceived power.

Evolutionary biology at its most basic.

Matt-Man said...

Four: Well good for you, mainly monogamous man, you. I'm doing pretty good after nine years or so. Cheers FD!!

Clay: And I agree with everything that you just said. As for the black thing. I have only it heard about a couple of times. Cheers Clay!!

Bond: Not for me as far the double standard goes. I feel better calling a whore, a whore. Cheers Vin!!

Matt-Man said...

David: That was my point. Yes Tiger was the asshole here but so were these women and that gets glossed over. Cheers David!!

Rat: I am holding him to the same standard as the women involved and vice versa. Cheers Rat!!

Candice: Of course it's pathetic, but there are a couple of videos I'd like to see if they're out there. Cheers Candice!!

Matt-Man said...

Michele: In this behavior, I prefer to think it is God's making rather than evolution. I like to think that God is one bitingly funny mo-foe. Cheers Michele!!

Candice said...

I'm sure there are videos. That will come out in the coming weeks I'm sure. Stay tuned. ;)

Matt-Man said...

Candice: If only they'd come out before Christmas. I'd have someone buy me the entire DVD Collection. Cheers Candice!!