Saturday, January 16, 2010

Alisyn Camerota Naked!!

It’s Saturday Bitches, so let’s party!!

Well…you guys can party. I will be spending my entire day and evening supplying folks like you with smokes and beer.

I must man the Beer Mine from 11-9 today. Poor ol’ Matt-Man. Beer and Bagwine everywhere and not a drop to drink.

I did party yesterday, and had a few beers with Schmoop’s brother, David. I also did his city taxes while half shit faced. I’m pretty sure I filled them out correctly.

At least the temps will be in the 40’s. The way it’s been here since the first of the year, it’s going to feel like it’s summer.

Of course, with the warmer weather, every freak in town will be coming through the Beer Mine. I’ll be sure to have my camera on hand just in case that’s the um…case.

I was watching Fox and Friends this morning. I was really disappointed. Alisyn Camerota appeared to have been out shagging all night.

She looked worn out and her hair was not its usual gorgeousness. I can’t believe she’d get her freak on sans Matt-Man.

Her thighs, as always, still looked incredibly tongue-licious, so that gave me a little bit of morning wood.

And hey, what more can a guy ask for when so many Haitians are dead or wondering where their next coup will come from?

Matt-Man…Always thinking of others.

Anyhoo…I hope you all have a wonderful Saturday, and perhaps tonight when I get home I’ll pound some beer, get drunk, and go on Twitter and Facebook for a couple of hours.

I never use either of those things, but tonight could be the night. Maybe Alisyn will be on Twitter and I can finally make my move.

We’ll see, and I shall see you all tomorrow. Well, for a little bit. I have to work the Beer Mine 11-7 tomorrow as well.

Jeebus Christ, if it wasn’t for me, this town would sober up.



Jay said...

You do a very important job Matt-Man. If it weren't for you the people there would sober up. That's true. And, if they sobered up, they would realize they live in Ohio and be all depressed and shit all the time. Way to keep everyone's spirits up!

And I'm just going to pretend that Alisyn looks all worn out because of a night of passion shared with Julie Banderas.

Matt-Man said...

Jay: Fuck the Ohio stuff...You had me at "Julie Banderas". Mmmmmmmmmmmm. God, she's hot. Cheers Jay!!

Dianne said...

I thought that was Meredith Viera

It's kind of you to keep people drunk, holds down the suicide rate

Scott Oglesby said...

That sucks that you have to work the entire weekend. Oh well, I guess you’ll just have to stick it out until you get your comedic show on the road…….wait, then you’ll be working every Friday, Saturday, and usually Sunday. But at least camel-toe girl will know your name. And sometimes that all you want. You know, to go where som…….nevermind, it’s late.

Anonymous said...

I had no idea who that lady was. I think you ought to stick with big names like Megan Fox and Miley Cyrus for maximum traffic. Perhaps try Kim Kardashian or Anna Kournikova for variety.

People in the Sun said...

She was like, "I can't. I have to go to work." And I was like, "Once more?" And she was like, "Can't. Doocy is waiting!" And I was like, "Whatever," and she was like, "Say hi to Matt-Man."

True story.

Dana said...

I’m pretty sure I filled them out correctly.

I'm sure Schmoop's brother find great comfort in your almost certainty.