Thursday, January 07, 2010

Help A Brother Out

Boy do I catch hell when my post is not up "on time". I received a couple of e-mails about my tardiness...

To you folks who obviously started drinking the Hater-ade early today and attacked me through the tubes of the Internets, I rebuke you.

And please, my late mom had nothing to do with me not posting "on schedule". I mean, really.

The reason I am "late" today is because we are preparing for the White Death to invade Bagwine, Ohio. A full 2-4 inches of snow is on the way, and Schmoop is home sick today.

A double whammy of drammy for the Matt-Man. Oh the Humanity!!

Anyhoo...

I was just thinking of what to make for dinner tonight. I need something that is easy in case the roof falls in from the weight of the snow, the power goes out, and Schmoop needs help to the bathroom.

I thought Hamburger Helper would be a good go to meal. However...

I used all of the hamburger we had on hand in last night's repast. But then I thought, that that shouldn't stop me from making Cheesy Hashbrown off brand Hamburger Helper.

So, I may make this...


Damn straight, Bitches...Hot Dog Helper!!

Schmoop is telling me that my idea is one of the grossest things she has heard of, and at this time is saying she will not partake of it tonight.

I said unto her:

"I shall take the recipe to the readers of Bagwine, and see what they think."

So guys, gals, and transgendered meth heads....what say thou....um, thee?

Cheers!!

35 comments:

Curious Chris said...

sounds yummy to me! Pass the mustard!

Matt-Man said...

Chris: Thank you. A little mustard on top would be a nice touch. I'll put you down as being in favor. Cheers Chris!!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...Methinks thou art the Thomas Edison of the Culinary Blogoshpere!...

Scott Oglesby said...

Personally that sounds like a little bit of heaven to me. I’d love hot dog helper right about now.

I’m surprised that anyone would be upset at your tardiness. I sometimes go 2 or three weeks without posting, well I did twice anyway, but without any repercussions. Whoever did that to you……..I repudiate you! I hope Schmoop starts feeling better soon.

Michele said...

I'm with Schmoop on this one. That sound gross. Want my lentil soup recipe? Makes a great cold weather dinner.

Matt-Man said...

Phfrankie: Why thanks, however I thought you would say the following:

"Hot Dog Helper would make a great name for a band." Cheers P-Man!!

Scott: Thanks for the repudiation. More folks should be repudiated on a daily basis. Yeah, I enjoy saying the word, "repudiation". If I could send some Helper to ya, I would in a second. Cheers Scott!!

Michele: What? Gross? It's not like hot dogs are actually meat.

I have a can of Lentil soup. I love beans and all, but have never felt the love for lentils. No idea why. Cheers Michele!!

doggybloggy said...

if its nitrites you want then its nitrites you get - plus the preservatives have to do something right - like preserve! This is perfect get well food!

Matt-Man said...

Doggy: Nitrites are a delight, but the best part of these Hot Dogs is that they contain, and I quote the package:

"Mechanically Separated Chicken"

Cheers!!

Jay said...

Hmmm ... I can actually think of worse combinations than this. I'm not saying they should serve this at Tavern on the Green, but it doesn't sound all that bad.

I would be more concerned as to what the cheese like product in the cheesy hashbrowns is. Because I'm betting it isn't REALLY cheese. ;-)

Matt-Man said...

Jay: Damn right...It should be much better, than she thinks, and I think she is warming to the idea. And I checked the box...

It says it contains, "Cheddar and BLUE Cheese". I guess the cheese in the box is quite sad.

Cheers Jay!!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...no, but The Damn Straight Bitches might work...

Matt-Man said...

Phfrankie: Ha. I dig that. Cheers P-Man!!

Lu' said...

Now that I have stopped dry heaving at the thought of that meal I say onto you Matt-Man, blecht ick ack! Oh and ew.

P.S. Blecht Ick Ack sound like a good name for a band, maybe a Polka Trio?

Dana said...

Hot dogs ... the other red(neck) meat!

Matt-Man said...

Lu: Well I guess you'll be doing it again tomorrow if you stop by, because there will be pictures and a review. I still love ya though. Cheers Lu!!

Dana: Ha. Very good. You can consider this my attempt at a recipe that utilizes "controversial" ingredients. Hee Hee. Cheers Dana!!

Bond said...

Anything with helper in the name has to be thrown into the fires of hell immediately...

no way jose

katherine. said...

she doesn't feel well...fix her something she wants.

not to mention the fact that you are about to subject her to you carbless for the Lenten season...you might want to be extra nice to her now...while you still can.

3 Men and a Lady said...

Bond- HARSH! Hamburger Helper is delish! LOL.

I don't know about adding hot dogs to it, Matt. Do you have bacon? Or sausage? Or eggs? They sound like better substitutions. Then add some onion or bell peppers if you have them and you'll have "western chessy hashbrown skillet". And make some biscuits to go along with. And we got about 3-4 inches so far and it's heading your way now. Enjoy!

Hmm.... I may have to try that myself.

3 Men and a Lady said...

Not "chessy", cheesey, lol.

Matt-Man said...

Bond: Food Snob. Cheers Vin!!

Kat: I made four cheese potato pancakes with chili hamburger gravy last night. She loved it. She'll like this too and she has already come to the conclusion that that will be the bill of fare. It'll work out. Cheers Kat!!

Lady: We have nothing much to work with and I am not going to the grocery with all of the panicking two inch snow birds invading the stores. I'll take pictures and post them toomorrow. Cheers D!!

Matt-Man said...

Lady: And by the way...if you look closely, or not so closely at my comments, spelling doesn't count here, so there's no need to correct yours. ; ) Cheers!!

David said...

Here on the cusp of Lent, Jeebus should smite those who have such small minds with little or nothing to occupy them for such a frivolous complaint as timing of the post. There is simply not enough smiting going on these days and the negativity has run amok with the nattering nabobs.

As to that proposed fine cuisine, I must concede that Anything Helper never arrives in my kitchen - BUT any regular reader knows you love the Helpers and I dare not diminish your culinary creativity after my predictions were so very wrong about the popularity of the artificially colored pasta Christmas salad. If Schmoop has not become accustomed to your ground-breaking culinary creations by now...well, she wouldn't still be there at the dinner table after these many happy years.

Matt-Man said...

David: First of all...Happy New Year. Schmoop and I have both been wondering where you have been, so it is good to see you.

Secondly, that was one amusing and wonderfully written comment. Cheers David!!

Bond said...

Not a food snob... just someone who know that anything Helper is just going to remain in your colon for 250 years

Matt-Man said...

Bond: What? As opposed to other noodle dishes? Cheers Vin!!

Four Dinners said...

Hot Dogs and Cheesy Hash Browns????


mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm


mail me a doggy bag.....


only 4 inches of snow? Amateur!...;-)

Matt-Man said...

Four: Will do, and the four inches? It's really embarrassing. People freak out 'round here. Oy. Cheers FD!!

Gal 'Lis-na said...

Well, in my astute culinary opinion, one must first slice said doggies on the diagonal; fry them in a skillet until "just so" browned. Toss 'em into the Hot Dog Schlepper and call it Blech Ik Ak Supreme. Buy the way, sounds like a vintage 2009 bottle of MD 20/20 would pair perfectly. Be sure to place receptacle nearby Schmoop. This oughta scare the evil spirits outa anything!
Welcome me aboard!

David said...

Nice to know I was missed. As it happened, I went to Maui right after Christmas for my godson's NYE wedding and then found any possible excuse to keep from flying back to the freezer run amok known as DC.

I saw on the news this afternoon that there was a big tanker truck collision today in environs of Bagwine. I trust you and yours are safe and unaffected.

VE said...

Hot dog helper? Only you! I thought Viagra was hot dog helper...

MysteryChick said...

I have to say Matt-man that sounds pretty good, but I do prefer my dogs to be all beef. I may have to add your recipe to my hot dog post!

boo said...

Personally, I'm not much of a hot dog fan; nor a helper fan for that matter. I've found that I can make just about anything in a helper box without the helper. On the other hand, I've also had to cook many a meal with whatever was on hand, and in the grand scheme of things your meal-plan doesn't sound too bad at all. I'd just dump a bottle of hot sauce in mine, and all would be well. A good hot sauce will cover the taste of *anything*!

*snicker*

Clay Perry said...

you eat that shit & i'll give you three dollars.. cash.. american...

Matt-Man said...

VE: No need for Viagra, she's in the way this week. Cheers VE!!

Mystery: We prefer Kahn's All Beef Franks ourselves but when in Rome...use generic dawgs. Cheers Chick!!

Boo: As you said, ya work with what ya got. She ate it and she really liked it. Pictures to follow tomorrow. CHeers Sexy Boo, you!!

Matt-Man said...

Clay: It's damn good. And I have corraboration. Cheers Clay!!