Saturday, January 09, 2010

Miley Cyrus Naked!!

We are a full week into 2010 and you know what I have found thus far?

It’s been pretty damn boring. Don’t get me wrong; boring can be good, but not when one is trying write about people who do stupid and/or funny things. Even our President isn’t giving up any laughs.

President Obama? Pfffffft.

Talk about boring. I find it un-American that our current Comedian-in-Chief is about as funny as having over a half gallon of infected, liquid lung funk drained from the right side of my chest.

Even my first three days off of 2010 were bromidic and drab. I was going to work on my new website Wednesday through Friday, but got next to nothing done.

The main reason was that Schmoop was home “sick” Thursday and Friday. When she is home during those times it completely disrupts my routine. My OCD is shaken to its foundation and I become Rain Man.

I know, some of you are thinking, “Well, dumb ass why didn’t you try to enjoy some sick day sex with Schmoop while she was home.”

I couldn’t. Schmoop is in the midst of her monthly basement flooding. So, when I even broached the subject I was met with Schmoop saying…

“Quit humping my arm. Why don’t you and your OCD go alphabetize the cans of soup and empty all of the ashtrays again, ya freak!!”

I did have Schmoop, as you can see on this post, take random pictures of me for my new site. But other than that, these past days have been commonplace and uneventful.

And now…I return to work today, and the crappy Saturday shift at that. I work 4 P.M. until 9 P.M. It really muddles the day. Plus, it is going to be 17 degrees when I get there and 13 when I leave. Brrrrr.

Oh well, maybe something funny will happen at work tonight. Every time a customer pulls in, there is the potential of hearing something stupid that I have never heard before. One can hope.

January has always been a relatively boring month, I guess. Around here it is always cold, gray, and unfunny.

That is why I used the title that I did. I thought if I titled this post, “Miley Cyrus Naked!!”, anyone trying to spice up their vapid, sterile January would be excited to see a hit pop up when doing a Google search.

Plus, when I titled one of my posts, “Megan Fox and Heidi Montag Naked” weeks ago it did and continues to send over 100 new visitors to my site every day. So, it is a win-win.

As Schmoop will be doing laundry at her mom’s today, I do have some alone time this morning. I may do Schmoop’s taxes this morning. Then again…

I may listen to the radio and look at plus sized lingerie sites on the internets. Or…

I may make a countdown clock for my site that denotes the time left until November 23, 2010. Why that date, you ask?

That’s when Miley Cyrus turns 18, and if I ever do get pictures of Miley naked it’ll be all legal like and what not.

Until the ’morrow my friends…try to find some excitiement in your lives and as always…

Cheers!!

26 comments:

Michele said...

I concur, January has been pretty boring.

Brrrrr....13. Makes our 29 degrees seem warm.

Matt-Man said...

Michele: Well 29 is pretty damn frigid for where you are. We're all giddy here because this coming Wed. thru Fri. the temps are going to be in the mid-30's. Cheers Michele!!

Michele said...

We are freezing our asses off but since mine has been sagging a bit chipping some off would not go amiss.

Matt-Man said...

Michele: Ha. I'm sure it is just fine. Hell...I weigh ten pounds less than I did in High School and look worse because it is in different places than it was back then. Cheers Michele!!

Four Dinners said...

I wonder whether this posts title will increase your hits?

I once entitled a post 'Four Dinners Naked' and even my regulars didn't show up....odd....;-)

Matt-Man said...

Four: Ha. I can't imagine that. You are sooooo Adonis-Like. I'd be all over that post. Cheers FD!!

Jay said...

I once tried the "Miley Cyrus Naked" thing. Absolutely nothing happened. I didn't get any extra hits at all. I put her name in the title and in the body of the post several times. Then I even put the "Miley Cyrus Naked" label on there.

Nothing.

Then, a few days later I mentioned my disappointment in the lack of increased hits. Luckily someone in comments pointed out that I had misspelled both "Miley" and "Cyrus" and that was probably why.

Anyway, Google searches include comments as well as blog posts, so hopefully my mentioning "Miley Cyrus Naked" a few times will help you out. ;-)

Matt-Man said...

Jay: Ha Ha. That's funny. And I double checked my spelling for once before hitting, "Publish". Are you and I living vicariously through each other and don't know it? Cheers Jay!!

boo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
boo said...

Tell ya what, Matty - find a way to get me the House, and I'll seduce some wretched skeez-bag politician, punch Ann Coulter, and then cry to the media about how they cornered me in a stairway and gang ogled me. ^_^

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...well I for one am fantastically dazzled by this stunningly creative and dynamically produced post of the boring January variety...

Matt-Man said...

Boo: Ha. I want to kiss your brain and then film everything you just mentioned. Think we can get someone to fund us and go on the road together? Cheer Boo!!

Matt-Man said...

Phfrankie: Many people say, "When it comes to boring, nobody does it like Matt-Man." Cheers P-Man!!

Clay Perry said...

what the hell.. where's the naked miley pics?

Scott Oglesby said...

I think that you just got red flagged by big brother for the title of this one Matt. I don’t mean the cool as hell TV show hosted by Julie Chen….no, I mean that scary, all knowing big brother. Next they’ll be trying to get you in some dateline sting.

Dude, I get a little OCD-ish at times too. Mostly at night. Since I’m not used to having a fireplace, and it’s not even a real fireplace but a Ben Franklin style, which to me seems dangerous as hell, I’m checking, re-checking and re-re-checking that fucking thing all night. Then, are we really sure that the stove’s totally off? Maybe we better check again!!!!!

Matt-Man said...

Clay: In my mind. Cheers Clay!!

Desert Rat said...

I'd like a boring January. So far, it's been kind of shitty. I did get my spices alphabetized, though, so all is not lost.

Matt-Man said...

Scott: I feel your pain. I'd be re-checking that damn thing myself. I hate it!!

And you may be right...I may be showing up on America's Most Wanted for running a kiddie porn ring out of the Bagwine Digs. If you don't hear from me, I've gone undercover. Cheers Scott!!

Matt-Man said...

Rat: Ha. Alphabetizing makes me hot. But, I'm sorry your month has been shitty. It will get better. So says the optimist in me. Cheers Rat!!

3 Men and a Lady said...

Poor guy! Boredom is the worst. Hope Saturday is more exciting for you!

Matt-Man said...

Lady: I don't have to be bored but we (or I) do that to ourselves. At least I have let that happen. Love the new pic. Have a great weekend. Cheers D!!

You can Call me AL said...

OCD.........You?
hmm...... No WAY!

Matt-Man said...

Al: Yeah...and the odd thing is, is that developed later in life. Go Figure. Cheers Al!!

David said...

My January was off to a good start...until I got back home from the warmth. So, yeah, bromidic is a good term for the dreary mid-winter yuck.

I usually like to have a warm weather destination trip for the beginning of Feb so I have something to look forward to during the dreadful month but alas, I've already had my vaca.

Hope you have some crazy customers today to fuel your imagination and blog.

Dana said...

But ... but ...

I'm kind of enjoying the doldrums. I always liked that word ... doldrums ...

Matt-Man said...

David: No crazy customers tonight, other than a couple of hot babes coming through, it was quite uneventful. Here's to warmth. Cheers David!!

Dana: Ha. Like I said, boring is not always a bad thing. Cheers Dana!!