First it was Sen. Harry Reid. Then, it was Sarah Palin, and now..?
It’s Bagwine Ruminations’ favorite Vatican City Nazi…Pope Benedict XVI. What kind of Papal Bullshit is Blitzkrieg Benny throwing about now, you ask?
Well, shortly after parliament in the uber-Catholic country of Portugal voted in favor of a law allowing gay marriage, Benny shrieked like a little girl while addressing the Vatican diplomatic corps.
According to the great Catholic Muckity-Muck, laws which ignore the biological differences between men and women are an attack on Creation. He went on to say that freedom is not absolute and man must conform to the structure of God.
In other words…
Blitzkrieg Benny is saying that gay marriage mocks God, mocks His creation, and if it becomes commonplace could threaten not only the continuation of our species, but the Catholic Church as well, as a full two thirds of Priests would leave the clergy in order to marry each other.
I find it ironic that Pope Benedict XVI would condemn gay marriage when it is obvious that the Catholic Church is built on a holy foundation of gayness.
Take God for instance. He created Adam and Eve in his likeness. WTF? So God has characteristics of both man and woman? Instead of saying, “Father, forgive me.” We should be saying, “Rupaul, please don’t spank me.”
Sounds to me like The Almighty has some gender identification issues to resolve.
It’s no wonder he waved his holy hand to impregnate Mary instead of taking her out to dinner and then back to his place for some Fatherly fornication. He didn’t know how to act or what to wear.
And then, there’s Christ and his disciples. A bunch of guys wandering around together, bathing together, on their knees together.
On top of that, everything they did was simply divine. Oh yeah, the disciples were as a queer as a twelve dollar bill, for Chrissakes.
And Jesus? When he built his Church who did lay the responsibility upon? That’s right…Peter!! Is it a coincidence that Christ liked Peter best? Hell no. What gay guy doesn’t like Peter best?
No less gay, is the Catholic Church itself. The names of the Popes for instance…I already mentioned Peter. There is also Linus, Innocent, and dig this…Boniface. Ha!! BoniFACE. Uh-huh.
Of course today as in the past, we have Pope Benedict…Holy Cow, fancy boy, why not just call yourself Pope Bend-a-Dick? I mean, does a straight man dress like this…
Not unless he’s a doing a cabaret show based on the life and times of Elton John, he doesn’t. I don’t even want to rehash how the Catholic clergy enjoys checking out the purity of young, studly boys. Oy Vay, Maria!!
I guess I am just confused. Here we have a Pope who is obviously gay, a religion built on gayness, and a God who may or not be gay depending on His or Her mood, coming out of the confessional and railing against the legalization of gay marriage.
It doesn’t really bother me because I am not gay. But if I was a gay person, I would tell the Pope to go fuck his holy self.
Of course, you wouldn’t want to say that to God...Although among his other heavenly powers, it appears that he could.