Wow kids…There was big news on Monday.
The Harry Reid, negro dialect comment fallout? Not at all, bitches and ho’s.
Mark McGwire admitting that he was using steroids when he broke the home run record? Swing and a miss batter; that’s no surprise.
Simon Cowell announcing that he will be leaving American Idol? This judge says no.
No my friends, the big news on Monday was that former Alaska Governor Sarah “Lame and Dull” Palin was inked by FOX News to a multi-year deal where she will work as a contributor and provide among other things, political commentary.
Political commentary? From Sarah Palin? Holy Cow!!
My funny bone has a hard-on right now thinking about the amount of jocularity that Palin will produce while weighing in with and alongside Senators, Generals, foreign leaders and the like. Oh Baby!!
Say what you want about FOX News President Roger Ailes, the man is a fucking comedic genius. He knows how to take stupid and turn it into ratings as hilarity ensues.
Tune into Fox and Friends in the morning and gaze upon Steve “Sure Thing, Mr Ailes” Doocy, Gretchen “I Graduated From Stanford, But They Don’t Advertise It” Carlson, and Brian “Huh?” Kilmeade do their 21st Century Three Stooges schtick. It’s Hi-Larry-Ous.
Sometimes I wonder how those three keep a straight face while delivering their goofy, tea bagging, right wing paranoia, and then it hits me…
They have no idea what the hell they’re talking about!! Ailes hired those people to be oblivious and the trio have immersed themselves head deep into a bucket full of stupid. Well done, Roger!!
Bill “Ego Oozes From My Pores” O’Reilly of course, pales not to those three. He needs no encouragement from Roger Ailes.
Billy-Boy knows what he says is the truth because, well, he tells you it is. And if you don’t believe him, he’ll threaten to kick your ass. Nicely played once again, Mr. Ailes.
And then there is…
Glenn “Every Book I Write, I Steal The Title From Someone Else’s Book” Beck. Now there’s a man I enjoy watching.
Unlike the aforementioned FOX personalities, this guy is flat out, bat shit crazy. He can become tiring after awhile but when he’s at his crazy, crying best, he is comedy gold.
Well, I have a word of warning for ya, Mr. Beck…
There’s a new crazy person on FOX News, and she is going to be going fucking rogue!!
Sarah Palin is oblivious like the Fox and Friends stooges. She feigns toughness like Billy Boy, and she is bat shit crazy like the Beck-Meister.
Great Googly Moogly, the Eski-Ho is a fricking triple threat, and Ailes will ride her like a bitch-slapped polar bear to the ratings feeding hole.
Congrats on a another slick move, Roger Ailes. I for one, will be tuning in to watch Palin dish the funny.
I just hope you have set aside plenty of thigh high skirts and low cut blouses for Sarah. I want her to blend in with the other FOX babes.