Friday, March 05, 2010

Happy Birthday You Cynical Bastard, You

It’s a special day here on Bagwine Ruminations.

We don’t celebrate Birthdays often, but our favorite Cynical Bastard, Jay-Man is turning several years old Sunday.

I just could not let this go by without saying how much I love this guy.

I mean, he was knocked over by former University of Arkansas basketball bad ass and five time NBA all-star Sidney Moncrief for God Sakes.

He’s kinda like my brother Marty.

My brother once took a piss in a NYC theater bathroom next to the late John Ritter. While they didn’t shake hands afterwards, they did say hi.

Oh…but wait…this was about Jay, wasn’t it? Yes. I like him. And…

I always tell Schmoop that Jay is a fucking mess.

Now, before you guys go off on me…Anyone who truly knows me, knows that when I say someone is a mess, it’s not a bad thing.

When I say it, it means that I think the “mess” in question is funny, is smart, and is one helluva individual.

And the aforementioned Birthday Boy of whom I speak is all of that.

Jay is a class act…He’s smart. He’s funnier than shit. And, he is one of the nicest people I have ever quasi-met.

In fact, he’s just like me…only he has the nice thing going on.

So here’s to ya buddy…I hope you have a wonderful Birthday. And in your honor I wrote a little song…

It was inspired by you Jay, but I based it on the Divinyls song, I Touch Myself. I hope you like it.



Happy Birthday to Jay, and to you all…

Cheers!!

36 comments:

3 Men and a Lady said...

How thoughtful!

You worked that song over great, lol. My favorite part is the window, drapes open, in the background. I bet your neighbors love it when they see you setting up the camera!

Happy (early) Birthday to Jay!!

MysteryChick said...

What a present!

I knew you'd make me smile tonight.

Happy Birthday Jay!!

Matt-Man said...

Lady: Ha...I am usually at the window scratching my balls...and THAT is what they love. Cheers D!!

Mystery: Awwww....I've been thinking of ya and hope for the best, Chick. Good things will happen. Cheers Chick!!

Jay said...

Holy Jesus! That was the most awesomely disturbing video ever. I'm appalled and flattered at the same time. haha

Thanks for the birthday video. Even if it will take me a few weeks to recover. ;-)

Seriously, you rock buddy. Good job.

Matt-Man said...

Jay: Anytime my friend...I wish it had been a video of Schmoop naked but she was in "the way" so I had to substitute. Telly your B-Day next year to happen when her basement isn't flooding.: )

Happy Birthday Jay, and Cheers!!

Mike said...

Happy birthday JAY! Where ever your are. Hey MM, I see your ready for next Christmas already.

Matt-Man said...

Mike: We keep it up all year and put topical decorations on it. As I did last year, come April, I will be hanging dead Baby Jeebuses on it. Cheers Mike!!

Clay Perry said...

holy fucking shit.. LOL

Scott Oglesby said...

Great song Matt, I love doing parodies myself. You’re hit the Jay on the head, he is one sweet, hilarious guy!

Happy Birthday Jay, I hope you’re up to your neck in strippers!

Micky-T said...

I'm glad you don't know when my birthday is.

Matt-Man said...

Clay: Ha. Your brevity and choice of words always cracks me up. Cheers Clay!!

Scott: Thanks Scott. Jay is indeed a helluva nice guy. Cheers Scott!!

Micky: Now see? You had to challenge me. I will find out. Cheers Mick!!

Lizza said...

Awesome video, Matt! You had me really laughing out loud.

Happy birthday to Jay!

Matt-Man said...

Lizza: Ha. Thanks Lizza. You'd like Jay's site; you should stop by when you get a chance.

You'd add some much needed class to those who comment on his site. I should know, I'm one of them.

Always good to see you, Lizza. Cheers my friend!!

bobbybegood1 said...

O-U-T-S-T-A-N-D-I-N-G!!!!!! You are a wonderful friend to the end Matt. CHEERS & HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAY!! SMILE!

P. S. Yo, Matt -- what up with the Xmas tree?

Matt-Man said...

Bobby: Thnaks and Ha...We keep it up year round and decorate it according to what time of year it is. As I told Mike...

April will find the tree decorated with pictures of the crucified Baby Jeebus. Cheers Michelle!!

irene said...

Matt you really sound like you love Jay what a lucky guy.How can he not have a happy birthday after that song. :o)

Matt-Man said...

Irene: I try Irene. I just hope that come Sunday when he's celebrating, drinking tequila, and watching strippers he will still remember the man in Bagwine who loves him, but I doubt it.

His his well-deserved celebration will be my heartache. Cheers Irene!!

Lu' said...

Just my guess but I pretty sure Jay is one frightened Birthday Boy :)

David said...

That is quite the interesting video there Natt Man...although I'm left with an odd sensation of relief that you don't know the date of my birthday.

Matt-Man said...

Lu: That may very well be the case. Sometimes love is scary. Cheers Pal!!

David: I try to be interesting, usually it doesn't happen. Cheers David!!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...I have it on good authority that Mic will be wearing a special moo-moo on his birthday..

Matt-Man said...

Phfrankie: He is so damn sexy when he exposes his feminine side. He makes me swoon. Cheers P-Man!!

Dianne said...

the best!!
not since Marilyn sang Happy Birthday to Jack have I been so moved

Jay makes me tingle and touch myself too

Matt-Man said...

Dianne: Ha...You're a "mess" too. Love ya, Baby. Cheers Di!!

Lu' said...

Sometimes I sit and watch the food channel while caressing my Viking hat wearing crystal figurine and think of Jay. I feel closer to him that way.

Matt-Man said...

Lu: Ha. Why didn't you just go ahead and write this post for me. Nicely done. Cheers Lu!!

Doc said...

Happy Birthday you Bastard!

(I always wanted to say that)

Matt-Man said...

Doc: Ha...Brevity is the soul of comedy. Cheers Doc!!

katherine. said...

Somehow that video is inappropriately appropriate.

or...appropriately inappropriate.

Happy Birthday to Jay!

Matt-Man said...

Kat: Why thanks...I tried to capture my true feelings...my bsession...my angst...my--well whatever. Yeah I was buzzed. Have a lovely weekend Kat. Cheers!!

Four Dinners said...

Happy Birthday to Jay
I so hope you get a lay
'cause on your birthday
dear Jayman
You so deserve a big bang!!!!

RobinF said...

I only know ya by proxy but.. Happy Birthday Jay! Now... Matt...that was arousing and yet disturbing at the same time...oh and I do believe you had hard man nipples... or MIPPLES as I am so fond of calling them...after a totally shitty you managed to make me laugh to tears.. Love ya!

RobinF said...

Oh... insert DAY after shitty..LOL

Matt-Man said...

Four: Let's all get drunk and shag some hussies. Cheers FD!!

Robin: I do my best...I make a lot of women cry. Chers Robin!!

Starrlight said...

Jay is da man =)

Dana said...

Awwww ... it warms my cockles to see a little man love going on here!