Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Have Any Irish In Ya Honey? Would Ya Like Some?

Centuries ago, Irish raiders kidnapped a young fellow who resided in Roman Britain.

He escaped backed to Britain six years later and went on to become a bishop. This man? St. Patrick.

In order to exact his revenge, Patrick returned to Ireland and converted the drunken, filthy pagans into drunken, filthy Christians and most became Catholic.

Now sure, Patrick could have retaliated by killing his kidnappers, but he knew that converting people to Catholicism was a much more painful form of punishment.

The thing I find most fascinating about St. Patrick is that he was born in Roman occupied Britain.

That means there’s a possibility that he was Roman, which means he could have been Italian. Can you believe that an entire country of shit-faced, pugilistic Micks was converted by a Dago and some kind of fight didn’t break out?

Fortunately, there was no violence, and Ireland has, of course, been violence free ever since.

That indeed is a story worth celebrating every year…And, being the man of Irish descent that I am, that is exactly what I will be doing tomorrow here at the O’Bagwine digs, but...


I’ll be all by my little o'lonesome.

So, if you guys wanna join me please do. I’ll be posting updates here on my blog, updates on my Twitter Account as well as on my Facebook Page.

I may even have my webcam up and running for the festivities, so if you get the chance, please join me in my St. Paddy’s Day Drunken O’ Communiqu├ęs!!

In fact, as you can see from the picture I am doing a little St Patrick’s Day Eve priming of my o’liver. Damn right, O’Bitches; your eyes are not deceiving you…

What you see me imbibing is not my typical Wild Irish Rose “Red.” It’s, Wild Irish Rose “Wild Green Apple.”


I only consume the green during St. Patrick’s Day…for two reasons actually.

One…because drinking it only during the St. Patrick’s Day celebration gives it a special feel, and number two?

This shit taste like, well…o’shit. They should call it, “Wild Green Apple That Initially Tastes Like Apples But The Immediate Aftertaste Has A Flavor Of Mothballs and Crack Whore Pussy.”

Ha…Yesterday, my post discussed the merits of John Calvin and Thomas Jefferson and today? I mention Crack Whore Pussy. Unfuckingbelieveable. Any O’Hoo…

I hope you can spend part of your day tomorrow sharing my Gaelic Gala with me. And, in order to get you in the mood I offer this video that I recorded for St. Patty’s Day last year.

It’s me singing a few verses of Lily the Pink. O’capella of course. Enjoy.

Hope I see you ‘round tomorrow for a few…

Erin Go Braugh and Slainte!!

25 comments:

3 Men and a Lady said...

My husband's Irish and so is my name so I think I'm qualified enough, right? I'll celebrate with you :-)

MysteryChick said...

I have more than just a little Irish in me but always welcome more!

Top 'o the evenin' to ya!

Matt-Man said...

Lady: Yay...and good to know. Don't tell Jay , but I may post multiple times on Wed...Shhhh don't ell him. I know how he hates that. Cheers Lass!!

Chick: That's good to hear and top o' the evenin', right back atcha, my friend. Cheers Chick!!

David said...

>>>violence free ever since

And that must be the miracle that let to Patrick becoming a Saint...right.

I am not inclined to admit to having any Irish "in me" as that would likely just give you fuel to taunt me about what you euphemistically have previously refer to my ambiguous sexual preferences. hehe


Happy St P's to you and yours.

Matt-Man said...

David: Everyone is Irish on Wednesday. Just like you let loose of your feminie side once in awhile let loose of your Irish side on Wednesday. Cheers David!!

Jay said...

Both sides of my family go back to Ireland. On my mother's side to County Armagh. On my father's side we only know they came over from Ireland around 1850, don't have details.

Loved the song. And the sexy green jacket and tie. Well done! ;-)

Matt-Man said...

Jay: Are you okay? I mean, you didn't say anything sarcastic. Do you need me to come visit you with a fifth or two of whatever and chase High School chicks with ya? Thanks and Cheers Jay!!

The Covert Lover said...

Wonderful singing!
I guess there's no need to say I'm Irish, it's pretty obvious with my fair skin and freckles huh? :)

Matt-Man said...

Covert: Why thank ya Covert, and yeah, the freckles, fair skin and most of all, hotness...designate you as a fine Irish Lass with a fine Irish Ass. Cheers Lover!!

Jay said...

What? Can't a guy leave a positive comment and a compliment without being questioned?

I was just being supportive of my fellow Irishman. ;-)

Mike said...

Me Muth'r wa' 'a Manion. So I'm half Irish. I guess that's why I could only watch the first half of the video. Then the Bohemian kicked in.

Scott Oglesby said...

You’re writing is top-o-the-line as your usual me friend!

I prefer to think that the good saint was half Irish half Italian…like me. I seriously wonder how a holiday honoring such a pious man has become a festival of such drunken revelry….no I don’t.

Matt-Man said...

Jay: You are right sir. I apologize. A Thousand O'Pardons to you my good man. Cheers Jay!!

Mike: I understand. I appreciate you taking the time to watch the half life of my song. Cheers Mike!!

Soctt: Ha. You have wonderful comedic timing even when you write. Cheers Scott!!

Evil Twin's Wife said...

I'm mostly Irish and I have the pickled liver to prove it!

Matt-Man said...

Evil: Join the club. I just reminded my liver what tomorrow is, and I could feel it cringe. Here's to you and your Irishness. Cheers ETW!!

Doc said...

Scared to ask how you know about how a crack ho's stuff tastes ??

Doc said...

Oh and before you get plowed you might want to make your NCAA tournament picks... (actually it might be more fun if you do it while drunk!)

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...A mick, a dago and a crack ho walk into a bar...and they all become saints!...

Turnbaby said...

I like to have as much Irish in me as possible seeing as how my wonderful husband is of Irish ancestry.

And somehow I just knew that you would know what crack whore pussy tastes like.

Lu' said...

I LUV'D the video :)

Hey I shit GREEN pooh when I eat wild cherry Rita's Italian Ice and the next time that happens I'll be sure to think of you HA!!!

katherine. said...

It's a shame we don't have WIR out here...not even the regular...let alone the apple.

I felt compelled to learn about "Lily the Pink"

basically she was hawking Midol.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lydia_Pinkham

Matt-Man said...

Doc: Well, there was this one time...anyhoo, don't you worry 'bout my picks mister, I will be making them either tonight or tomorrow morning. Sober or not. Cheers Doc!!

Phfrankie: Ha. Praise Jeebus!! Cheers P-Man!!

TB: I like to get know all types of people. Inside and out. Cheers Sexy!!

Matt-Man said...

Lu: Ha and thanks...I would be honored that if everytime something comes out of your ass that you think of me. Cheers Lu!!

Kat: I can't believe they don't sell it out there. Maybe if you traveled down to Compton you'd find it. I knew all along that she must have been a Midol pusher. Cheers Kat!!

Micky-T said...

I doubt there is any possibility that I have any Irish in me unless of course the Irish at one time conquered Sicily like so many others.

I hope you have a great day.

Is it the ONLY Irish holiday? Clue me in Mahoney!

Matt-Man said...

Micky: Ha...Nothing major out side of religious observances and bank holidays. Of course, that doesn't keep them from partying. Cheers Mick!!