Hump Day Name Game

I haven’t done this in ages and many newer Bagwine readers may not be aware of something that my brother Marte’ and I do often.

It’s called the name game and it brings out the twelve year old in both of us, and…it can be quite annoying.

Now, it’s not like the, “Jack, Jack Bo-Back…Banana-fana Fo-fack” Name Game song. It is an exercise in fun using famous names.

For instance, one can say, Does Bob Hope? Is Al Green? Was Huey Long? Does Bill O’Reilly? You get the idea.

Marte’ once sent me an e-mail with a subject line that read: “Is Emily Post-Menopausal?”

Juvenile, perhaps, but I laughed my ass off. Contained in his message, along with some rant about how this big gray squirrel in his backyard was telling him to kill the Pope, my brother asked, “Where Did Henry Cabot Lodge?”

I laughed again, and then pondered the question. After a moment I replied back to him, “He probably stayed at the, Oliver Wendell Holmes.” Oh, how I crack myself up.

Another good one that my brother came up with was, Did Henry David Thoreau to Second?

Others that come to mind are: Did Cyndi Lauper Head Off? Why was Richard Nixon all of their ideas?…and, What did Harriet Beecher Stowe in her footlocker?

The best thing about this, is that if you do this continually while out drinking with friends, it becomes highly annoying.

My brother and I did this a few years back while out with some folks including my brother Vince.

Now Vince, became extremely pissed off as my bro and I rattled off such things as: What did Cary Grant? Is Elizabeth Barrett Browning the sausage? Did Bob Dole out Viagra?

As we rattled on precipitously, Vince’s face became the hue and consistency of a rotting plum.

As the vein in his face swelled to the size of pregnant fire hose, we continued the moniker onslaught in spite of our tears of laughter, finally offering up a critical blow, “Did George McGovern the Hamburglar?”

Vince stood up upon his wobbly, hops and barley soaked legs and screamed, “God Damn It, Stop It!! Both of you SHUT UP…Jeez, you stupid motherfuckers!!”

This of course led to more laughter on our part, that air grasping, beer spewing, “I don’t think I’m going to live” type of laughter.

Vince insisted on being taken home after I, through my oxygen starved body managed in staccato to say: Is Oscar Wilde?

So there you have it, fun and annoyance with famous names. Try it yourself, just remember…

There can be no words within the name. They have to be either before the name and/or after.

Happy Hump Day, and…

One very important thing before I go.

My buddy Lu directed an incredible act of kindness toward me yesterday. While I have come to expect nothing but utter thoughtfulness from her, this act was unexpected and incredibly sweet.

I feel the need to say thanks to her and let her know that she has been my friend for some time now, and a friend of mine she will forever remain.

Thanks Lu. In this oft times chaotic and not so nice world, your goodness is one of the few constants.

Cheers!!