While Spring is still eleven days away, there are definite signs of its impending arrival rearing their vernal head in the greater Bagwine metroplex.
There are furry bud cocoons poking out on the ancient Magnolia tree that grows next to our apartment building which has lost its gutters due to the heavy snow and ice this winter.
When stepping outside and smelling the pre-Spring air, one can catch a whiff of the methamphetamine operations cooking up the first batches of the season…just in time for St. Patrick’s Day.
There’s a spring in the step of every hooker…a smile on the face of every pimp, and the homeless are once again maneuvering along every sidewalk and alley with their shopping carts full of cans and coat pockets full of cigarette butts.
Through the recently opened windows of every dwelling one can hear the lamp throwing and cries of young children associated with every incident of an unwed mother and dead beat father beating the shit out of each other after one too many 40 ounce bottles of Milwaukee’s Best Ice.
Gone too, are the vestiges of this winter’s abnormally high snowfall; the ivory foulard that once covered the ground has since departed…
Now, upon the fertile Bagwine soil, contained in the mud, empty Funyun bags, and a stream of urine collecting next to the dumpster, steeps the promise and smell of warmer days ahead.
Yes my friends…Spring is drawing nigh in Bagwine, Ohio.
The first robin of the season has been shot and eaten. The first bicyclist of the spring has been hit.
The first amusingly off the wall prediction that the Cincinnati Reds will finally have a winning record this year has already been made.
But…It’s nice going to work without wearing my weight in clothes. It’s nice getting off of work when there is still a hint of light in the sky, and…
Its nice working with the owner of the Beer Mine, Drive-By Mikey, when the weather is warming.
You see, Ol’ Mikey hates winter, but today as the temp burst into the 50’s under a beautiful blue and sunny sky, Mike burst into song and dance for 13 seconds as he channeled the late James Brown…
In Mikey’s voice and laugh I hear
Here’s to Spring in Bagwine. May the fertile spirit of her eternal youth blanket us soon.