Sunday, March 21, 2010

Sunday Morning Church Disservice: Spring Has Sprung

It’s going to be a decent day weather wise in Bagwine, Ohio today.

My 11-7 shift on this Sabbath at the Beer Mine shouldn’t be too bad at all.

As you know, Saturday was the first day of spring according to the calendar, however…

In addition to the calendar, there is another way to know when spring has sprung in Bagwine. It’s when folks around our part of the country see the following…



Damn right Bitches, Matt-Man’s pasty white chicken legs made their 2010 debut Saturday and let all who drove by and through the Beer Mine know that spring is officially here.

Damn I’m sexy…even if it does look as though I’m sporting some serious camel toe oddly enough.

There was one setback to the day yesterday. Just a little ways down the road there was a car accident.

I hope it was not the result of one of the drivers involved being temporarily blinded by the alabaster pixie stix that are my legs.

Today is also a big day in a Beer Mine related way.

Our fearless leader, Drive-By Mikey is celebrating his Birthday. Yes indeed, drive-thru entrepreneur, singer of songs about his prostate, and legendary pig inseminator turns 44 today.

He is an impressive guy in many ways but what I truly find impressive is just how deep and reflective he is…

And of course, how can you not like a guy who can somehow manage to have sex with a case of bottled water?



Here’s to you Mikey, may your birthday be a good one.

Amen, and Amen.

Have a wonderful Sunday all and to St. Mary’s College which defeated Villanova (the school which I picked to win the NCAA tournament) on Saturday, I just want to say…

You goddamn Catholics fucked me again didn’t ya? Happy, now?

Cheers!!

14 comments:

3 Men and a Lady said...

Yeah, where did that school come from?? Cracking up over here about the case of camel toe, LOL! Happy Sunday!

Matt-Man said...

Lady: Rotten bastards, oh well, I was already pretty much out of any chance of winning.

Ha. I'd like to take credit for the camel toe comment but Schmoop is the one that pointed it out. Enjoy your Sunday. Cheers D!!

Mike said...

Villanova - the killer of 99% of bracket guessers hopes everywhere.

Scott Oglesby said...

There were so many upsets yesterday. The worst for me was Kansas. WTF? Happy birthday to your character and boss!

Speaking strictly from a personal trainer/sun God point of view, I recommend 200 to 500 squats every third day. And maybe read the paper or write for an hour or 5 in the sun when you can get it. Hahahahahahaha! Great freaking photo!

Matt-Man said...

Mike: It's a travesty, a travesty, I say. Cheers Mike!!

Scott: Yeah it was a surprise but in spite of my bracket going in the shitter I do enjoy watching the smaller schools win these games.

Ha...Actually in the summer I get plenty of sun as I sit in a lawn chair out front of the Beer Mine when no cars are there. Even so, my inherent Irishness prevents me from reaching your Sun God status. Cheers Scott!!

Dianne said...

you should know by now that the damn Catholics will always come out and fuck ya when you least expect it

Happy Birthday Mikey
he does look like a deep thinker in his fully reclined position
here in NJ we drive that way

are you wearing a cup?

Matt-Man said...

Dianne: That's exactly how they are. Hee Hee we have some wanna be "gangstas" that drive like that here as well.

Ha...No, no cup...I think me subtly hiking up the shorts in order to expose every bit of my ambulatory chopsticks left me looking a bit odd, and more than a bit disturbing. Cheers Di!!

Jay said...

I had a tough time with Villanova. I knew they were a shitty team, but I had never heard of their first round or either potential second round opponents. So, I figured they would get through a couple of games on superior athleticism alone. Wrong. Oh well. Still though, Vandy and Texas are the ones that really killed me. Bastards.

Oh and Jeebus dude! The reflection from those legs almost burned out my computer screen! hahaha ;-)

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...didn't one of the Alabaster Pixie Stix get in trouble for dissing George Bush a few years back?...

Simstone said...

My legs are lily white right now too. The reflection I was givin' off yesterday was amazing ...

Sabbath at the Beer Mine ... sounds like a name for a band. Has a nice catchy sound.

MysteryChick said...

Haha! We have the same legs!! Your camel toe is impressive though!

Mike said...

OK I had to come back. Camel toe? Come on. We all know Schmoop put some tube socks down there so she won't be embarrassed with you in public.

These girls know too.
http://verydemotivational.com/2010/03/11/demotivational-posters-your-size/

Matt-Man said...

Jay: Yeah, I had picked Texas and Vandy as well...Oh well, twas not to be. And the legs? Wow...if only my picks had been as bright as my legs. Cheers Jay!!

Phfrankie: Ha...Took me a second to get that. Eh they're all preganant and used up now anyway. Cheers P-Man!!

Sim: You and I could start an entire type of White Power group. Cheers Sim!!

Matt-Man said...

Chick: Ha...How do I know that? Maybe we should compare them side by side. Yeah, all the girls and the guys are jealous of my Camel Toe. Cheers Chick!!

Mike: She would never do that. She lives to embarrass me. And that picture sums my dimensions up pretty well. Cheers Mike!!