Here’s a few things I am thinking about…
Schmoop and Dave’s mom is in the hospital. The lovely Patty Ann is resting comfortably, but is suffering from an acute case of dementia and/or Alzheimer’s.
She went in Sunday evening and may very well be going into a nursing facility upon her release.
There’s one thing of late that I truly get a kick out of about Schmoop’s mom…
Schmoop will go over to see her on Saturdays and hang out with her and Dave while Schmoop does some laundry.
In the course of any conversation that Schmoop and her mom have, ol’ Patty Ann often doesn’t realize that Schmoop is her daughter and doesn’t know her name.
Her mom however almost never fails to ask Schmoop one very important question…
“How’s Matthew?” Ha!!
I dig that. Schmoop? Not so much. It kinda makes her want to throw up a little, so of course, I bring that fact up often.
Anyhoo…Any kind thoughts for Schmoop, Dave, and most importantly for their mom, would be appreciated.
Now dig it…Dave brought some of these over for Schmoop the other day…
That’s right, bitches. Pickled Fucking Eggs. Oh dear God!! Is there anything in the culinary world more horrid than pickled eggs?
Schmoop loves them, but wondered where Dave got them. I had to tell her that he made them and that in fact, pickled eggs do not as she thought, come from drunk chickens, however…
They do sit on the counter of many an old time bar, so pickled eggs are primarily eaten by drunk people, which makes perfect sense as to why Schmoop loves them.
When I see pickled eggs like those pictured above, I think to myself:
“Those god awful things look and smell like the result of the ovarian discharge of an incredibly fertile 50 foot tall woman who went unfertilized and got her period.”
On the upside, upon seeing those nasty beet intoxicated eggs I thought of something that made me smile.
This year, I am going to color some damn Easter Eggs. I haven’t done that in ages, so by God, I am at least going to do 6-12 eggs this year.
I mean, it’s fun. I love hard boiled eggs (if they’re not fucking dripping in beet juice), and it will give me a chance to put pornographic designs upon them.
Damn straight, I’m gonna make me some Easter Porno Eggs.
Should be fun, and I’ll take pictures.
One last thing before I go…
With the warmer days coming, on the days I work now, I don’t get off until nine at night, so my posts will be popping up later than the typical 10 PM from here on out.
Please make a programming note, or just say to yourself, “Who the fuck cares Matt-Man?”
Either way, I’ll be happy.