Friday, April 30, 2010

Streaming Friday!!

It’s Stream of Consciousness Friiiiiday so finger me like your keyboard and wrap your legs around my hard drive ‘cause I am singin’ in the Key of F5.

Damn right Bitches, I’m your personal refresh key so touch me…TOUCH ME!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhh.

Bom bom feedle bom, and dosey doe in your underwear, I wanna dance dammit!! I’m off today. What to do? What to do?

I need to walk to the Beer Mine and get my check this morning. Nice day for a walk, partly cloudy and 80. Not too nice for Pizza Bill though. He’s working from 10-9 today. Ha.

Temps in the 80s and busy on a Friday at the Beer Mine. I’m putting out an Ass Chap Alert!! Don’t go near Pizza Bill today, Whoa Nellie…He will have a major case of Ass Chap today.

Bill will be sweating and yeastifying all over his ass and the rest of his nether regions. Poor fella. Ha!! Ass Chap, what a freak that boy be. And I call Pizza Bill a freak…

Hell, I commented to Evil Twins Wife that I have three testicles. I don’t, but the two I do have are huge.


They’re like super balls…especially when contrasted against my diminutive cock. But man, those boys can shoot gallons of spooge, and with force.

When I cum, it’s like someone stuck a pack of Pop Rocks and a dozen Alka-Seltzer tablets into a bottle of Pepsi. Whooooooooooosh. Old Faithful gots nothin’ on me. I’m Old Mattfull, Boo Yah!!

Shit…I should call Richard today. Haven’t talked to him in a couple of weeks. I bet the crazy bastard has another three dozen cats. He really needs to stop.


I should call my brother Marty too. Wow, what a fun day off.

My life sucks. After I get my check, I’m going to spend my time talking to a crazy old cat man, and my brother. Oh well, at least Marty is funny.


Maybe some hot chicks will want me to call them today, I mean I got nothing else to do. Drop me a line, Bitches…we’ll chat.

Ol’ Drive-By Mikey went mushroom hunting the other day. I wonder how the mushroom got its name. I mean, was it first discovered inside a room that was used by a sled dog trainer? Maybe I’ll Google that…or not.

Hankie Pankie…what a stupid term. Can one have Hankie without having Pankie? I guess it’s possible.

I mean, if I was looking at a picture of a hot chick and jacked off, I would be the only one doing anything and when I was done, I would definitely need a hankie…or a towel.


So yeah, I guess I could simply have Hankie.

I have an itch in my ear. I hate that. It’s too deep to get to without compacting all the wax into a brick. Dammit. Auuuugh. Annoying.

Now I’m all horny ‘cause I mentioned Hankie Pankie…Oh well. What? Ha…I should show my cock to everyone and I know a classic Inky and Lola that will show it…

Have a wonderful Friday all…let me refresh you if you’re bored today.

Cheers!!

21 comments:

Mrs. D said...

Were you the kid that drew obscene stuff on the desks at school?? Just wondering, lol.

Maybe this weekend you'll get the hankie AND the pankie.

Matt-Man said...

D: Ha...Actually I was always drawing airplanes and tanks on my desk back then, and thanks...I hope I do get both ends of the deal. Cheers D!!

Scott Oglesby said...

This was a stream of something…I guess consciousness will work.

Mikey went mushroom hunting huh? I’d like to hear about your hallucinogenic experiences someday soon. I’ve had a few as you could probably guess. And they were good….

Matt-Man said...

Scott: Hey now...Don't diss the stream. I bet you have had some hallucinogenice times, but Mikey? he went looking for wild mushrooms. I know, we're an exciting bunch. Cheers Scott!!

Doc said...

Oh it's going to be a fun Friday!

Matt-Man said...

Doc: I hope so and am going to work hard to make it so, because man, I have been in a funk for about a week and a half. Cheers Doc!!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...I like my pankies with butter, peanut butter and maple syrup...

Matt-Man said...

Phfrankie: You are so damned eclectic. Cheers P-Man!!

David said...

Some time ago I read an item in the National Enquirer about some guy in Ohio who would cum so forcefully he would knock his companion completely across and off the bed. I didn't believe it at the time but now...well, not only is it true I know who the guy is.

btw - tilt your head and pour a small amount of hydrogen peroxide in your ear - cleans up that wax situation.

Matt-Man said...

Dabid: Wait just a minute now...They did my story and didn't pay me for it? I cry, "Foul!!" And thanks for the tip, but the itching has since passed. Cheers David!!

Jay said...

You've got a pretty exciting day ahead.

If you get some hankie in the morning, and then some pankie at night, do you still get to claim that you engaged in hankie pankie that day? I guess so.

Dana said...

Did I really say I missed these??? *shakes head*

Matt-Man said...

Jay: Damn right, Jay. As always, I am livin' on the edge, and whatever the rules of Hankie Pankie are, I'm claiming to have had both. Cheers Jay!!

Dana: What are you saying? C'mon, Seamus RAWKS!! Not nearly as often as he would like to, but rawks nonetheless. Cheers Dana!!

Mike said...

If what you say is true you should draw DF and his friends more to scale.

Matt-Man said...

Mike: Who's DF? Cheers Mike!!

Evil Twin's Wife said...

If I posted some of the Evil Twin's underground comics/cartoons, I'd lose half my readers. Tommy Turdola, anyone? He was a frickin' TURD cartoon character!

Matt-Man said...

Evil: Why shy away? Fuck em. Eh, I have great numbers but would never shy away from what I do. Cheers ETW!!

Dianne said...

when I read the first line of Hanky without Pankie I immediately thought of jerking off

and then you said it first!!

it scares and excites me that we think of things the same way

倫妍 said...

快樂的微笑是保持生命康健的唯一藥石,它的價值千萬,卻不要花費一文錢........................................

Matt-Man said...

Dianne: what are you thinking now? If you're picturing me and you naked together, we are once again thinking the same thing. Cheers Di!!

倫妍: Me love you long time. Hava Hava.

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