Thursday, June 17, 2010

To Quote Me Is To Love Me

Happy Thursday all!!

I am working on something, and to this end, I need to catalog a few of my quotable quotes.

In this forum, and without context, some of them may seem a bit odd, but so be it. Here are but a handful of:

Matt-Man’s Quotable Quotes:

“Every time we fuck, a blind dog gets the gift of sight.”

“Politics is no more than two guys in the same bed, with the same girl, trying to be the one who gets her pregnant first.”

“It’s funny how she loves me when she’s buzzed.”

“That’s what pussy is all about sports fans.”

“We’ll only go out for a couple.”

“There are two types of people in this world. Those who are assholes, and those who aren’t.”

“Does this look infected?”

“Make sure you wrap your wank when poking the pig.”

“The obvious is often lost on the obviously stupid.”

“We should put all the dead dogs into a pawsoleum.”

“We have plenty of gas.”

“I know she’s a little on the big size but she has big tits. I like big, okay?”

“I have a three inch dick and a six inch tongue. It’s who I am.”

“That dumbass is as sharp as the leading edge of a rolling ball bearing.”

“Tobit fucking rocks.”

“It’s like the fly of my boxers has not been sewn up in coordination with the back seam.”

And there is always...

“I’m Matt-Man, Bitch!!”

I’m taking inventory for a reason, so if you remember any, let me know.

Have a wonderful day, and of course, my favorite quote…

“Cheers!!”

26 comments:

Jeff B said...

One that was uttered in your honor many moons ago, "You look like a big bowl of spilled fuck!"

Claim it as your own if you like.

Matt-Man said...

Jeff: Ha...I still to this day, mention that to Schmoop and we both laugh. Cheers Jeff and thanks!!

Mike said...

Then they said, “Oh, Matt you’re the most”

Scott Oglesby said...

“We’ll only go out for a couple” and “I’ll just get a six pack” used to be my catch phrases. And I always, always used to say, “Here, hold my beer and turn on the video camera…” right before a trip to the emergency room.

Matt-Man said...

Mike: Are you referencing a song that I wrote? 'Cause I've used that. Cheers Mike!!

Scott: Ha...Love the turn on the video camera line. Cheers Scott!!

Dana said...

A bit odd out of context?? There have been so many Matt-isms over the years - Yogi has nothing on you!

Matt-Man said...

Dana: Ha. Very good. I appreciate that. I think. Cheers Dana!!

Dice Mardell said...

The one of yours that I even honored on my "Don't Quote Me" sidebar for a while was:

"It's true 'cause I believe it"

Matt-Man said...

Dice: I know and it's on my FB page. However, I left it off of this post. But....There may be a reason for that. I can be quite calculating. Cheers Dice!!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...something about a hoo-ha, I think...

Matt-Man said...

Phfrankie: There's nothing better than a hoo-ha, I think. Cheers P-Man!!

Lu' said...

Yabba dabba bite me Bitch! Well it sounds like you any way.
Have a great day Buddy because I said so :)

Marilyn said...

I'm partial to the recent,"I shall leave no asshole unturned."

Out of context it's even funnier.

AceOfHeart said...

“Politics is no more than two guys in the same bed, with the same girl, trying to be the one who gets her pregnant first.”

hahahahaha........... so creative...

Mike said...

I went all the way back to your second ever post in 2006 to find that.

Jay said...

“The obvious is often lost on the obviously stupid.”

LOL .. I think that one is my favorite.

~Isobel~DingoDoll said...

I'm stuck between these two, courtesy of the immortal Kwanzaa post:

"The diminutive, cycloptic bastard died, that’s what."

' think Hindus should have to have sex with cows and Jews and Muslims should be wrapped in bacon and forced to eat themselves. Blow Me. Cheers!!'


I'm partial to the second one as nothing shows the holiday spirit like non-discriminating racism and angering the small-minded. Go Matt-Man!

~Isobel~DingoDoll said...

Wait, what I MEANT was, nothing shows love like 'Blow me", and 'Cheers!' in the same sentence (and yes, I AM guilty of plagiarizing this one and passing it all over mobsters, I LOVE it!'

Charlene said...

I really liked the one: We have plenty of gas! hehe

Matt-Man said...

Lu: Ha. I like that and will use it soon. Cheers Lu!!

Marilyn: It is kinda funny out of context but could lead to some unwanted ramifications. Cheers Marilyn!!

Ace: I just came up with yesterday. I was so proud of myself. Thanks for the comment and Cheers, Ace!!

Matt-Man said...

Mike: Good man. I think I have a You Tube video of me singing it. Hell, I wrote that song over 20 years ago. Cheers Mike!!

Jay: Ha. It may be mine as well and it is so damn true. Cheers Jay!!

Dingo: Ha. I do love the Hindu quote. I didn't remember that one. Thanks for pointing it out, and dear, you can plagiarize me all you want. Cheers Doll!!

Matt-Man said...

Charlene: That is a bone of contention bewteen Schmoop and I. I run it down to E, and she starts getting nervous when there is still half a tank. Cheers Charlene!!

Desert Rat said...

Ack! Late to the party, again! How about this one:

"Greek men and dudes from Kentucky are always tryin’ to sneak up from behind me and screw me in my hindquarters. So far, my ass has remained chaste."

I'd say, that's a winner!

Matt-Man said...

Rat: Ha...That rings a bell. when did I write that? Cheers Rat!!

Marilyn said...

see, the unwanted ramifications are the funny part...

Matt-Man said...

Marilyn: Exactly!! Cheers Marilyn!!