Thursday, June 03, 2010

Women Suck!!

I hate to get all pissy with a group of people that I love , but…

What is with you women? Holy Cow!!

Schmoop has always told me that women are more catty than men, but I didn’t want to believe it.

Oh sure, men will stand around and make fun of other guys, but not to the level of you chicks. Holy Shit!!

Schmoop is right, and she has always, since the day I met her, said, “ Women are cunts.” I agree in a way, and allow to me to ‘splain.

What is it with you chicks?

There are like, uh, a billion cocks out there…go get one. Oh…

You want the one Sally is using…or Molly…or Nikki?

Oy Vey, Bitches…and this time, I…mean…Bitches!!

I have never seen a gaggle of people more nit-picky, judgmental, and “do as I say, not as I do” people in my life.

Don’t get me wrong…

I love you women, and you have never done anything wrong to me, except take my house and ask for more, but as much as you have always been my best friends…

Ya suck…to each other.

Hell’s fire…I complain how popular mommy blogs are, but half the comments I read on those blogs are from chicks saying that Mommy Blogger ain’t doin’ it right.

A chick I went to High School with wanted an opinion on shaving her hoo-ha and some comments revolved around her needing to do something else.

Hell, she was just asking if it was yea or nay on the hoo-ha shaving.

Why, in general do some women internalize? Why do they think its all about them? Why do they want the best of both worlds?

And by that I mean, I want to be treated just like a guy, but as a woman at the same time? What? Oh Hell, you know what I mean....

Speaking of women…Boy Howdy, Here’s One.

Here’s my friend Desert Rat modeling a Bagwine T-Shirt!!

She’s gorgeous, however, you may say,

She’s exploiting herself…To which I say, “She’s a fucking scientist and has a mind of her own; there’s no exploitation. Dumb Ass.”

Have a wonderful Thursday, and thanks for the picture, my friend. You…are…HAWT!!

Cheers!!

35 comments:

Mrs. D said...

We women are a catty bunch, Schmoop is correct. I think you, Jetsa and I discussed this before. I guess it's just part of our charm ;-)

Matt-Man said...

D: What I don't get, is why is that? Cheers D!!

Dana said...

Can I disagree on principle even though I agree??

How 'bout this instead? Desert Rat wears Bagwine well!

Kim said...

Oh yeah women are so mean to one another. It starts when we're little and never stops.

I wish I knew why but I don't.

Matt-Man said...

Dana: Boy howdy. Yes, she does. And if you didn't disagree with me I would think something was wrong.

Is something wrong? Cheers Dana!!

Matt-Man said...

Kim: Well stop it, dammitt!! Cheers Kim!!

Clay Perry said...

worst insult i hurl at my wife.. "stop acting like a damn woman..." that will always lead to a fight....

Jay said...

Anytime a woman does makes a mistake or screws something up or whatever, it's always another woman who goes after her first. Almost every single time.

The reason women haven't taken complete control of everything in this country is because they're too busy being at war with each other.

I don't have any idea why.

Desert Rat said...

Dearheart, thank you for the compliment! I love my shirt and it is one of my favorite colors, too - matches the curtains! ha!

We are a catty lot, no doubt about it. Might be a "scarcity" mentality - if she has something (a rich husband, a sweet pair of shoes, a great set of hooters) - then I *don't* have it. Or maybe it's insecurity. It's hard to grow up as a woman - especially now, I think, 'cause our roles are confusing - more so than when my mom was young and just expected to have a couple of kids and make meals - not have a career or anything like that - at least that was the "big picture" in the old days - not that all women did that of course - there were plenty of career women - geez I'm rambling - note to self: quit having beer for dinner.

What I'm getting at is we are, therefore we snark. Sigh. I wish we didn't. I'm guilty of it, too, and I always feel a little shitty about it - but it's like there is this bit of evil that lets the snarky out.

What did your friend decide to do? Were the comments helpful? I think it's nice that she wants to spice things up - although I think the shaving might be itchy.

Desert Rat said...

Oh, and Dana, thank you!

Scott Oglesby said...

I’ve found that with women, especially women who know they are beautiful…you have to keep them separated. Put them together and they become an evil entity. Most of the girls I have dated have only had a few close girlfriends.

Look at all those cases where someone is bullied to the point of suicide. It’s always females.

Dessert Rat is smoking hot in the Bagwine gear!

Doc said...

Nice shirt !!

Michele said...

Try working with a bunch of women in a small office. That, my friend, is torture.

Rat looks adorable in that t-shirt.

Evil Twin's Wife said...

After one particularly disturbing job where I worked for and with only women, I vowed to only work for male bosses. MUCH better environment.

I try hard to not judge others. The reason I have so few female friends is that most chicks I know work full time and have older children. It's hard to meet other SAHMs my age with small children.

Matt-Man said...

Clay: Ha. That's funny. And ironic. Cheers Clay!!

Jay: I've noticed that as well. Maybe we notice it more today because women are more out in the open in places were they used not to be. Cheers Jay!!

Rat: What you have said is kinda what I was trying to impart to Jay. Eh, I'm snarky...okay, I'm an asshole but I'm a guy so I guess people are used to it. Women aren't "supposed" to be assholes so maybe we notice it more...or something.

I don't think my friend is going to shave it but whatever she does I hope she shows it to me. Bada Bing. Glad you liked the shirt hubba hubba. Purrrrrr. Cheers Rat!!

Matt-Man said...

Scott: Many of them are a competitive lot ain't they? And Rat? She would look good even if she was naked. What? Cheers Scott!!

Doc: I'd send you one but I'm out of them. Have no fear though...I'm designing a new one. Cheers Doc!!

Michele: I know. Schmoop has been there and done that. Hell, even her office mate who is a guy is a woman. Oy Vaey!! Cheers Michele!!

Matt-Man said...

Evil: And that's funny...not humorous, but odd. I, as I said the other day in a comment, have gotten along better with women especially in the workplace than I have men. Well, until I started the Beer Mine job. I love those guys.

I bet if we looked at it in a study...Men are just as big a bunch of assholes. Cheers ETW!!

Miz Angell said...

Have always admitted that women as a species are a bunch of catty bitches. We can get more brutal than men, because we not only play head games, we get really nasty. With men, mostly, they physically beat the hell out of one another, shake hands and go for a beer. When a woman is pissed off at another woman, we tend not to get physical, but to tear them down verbally, go after their integrity, their intelligence, their parenting and, sometimes, their man.

As Kipling once said "the female of the species is more deadly than the male." You'd better believe it buster.

*And no I'm not proud of being a catty bitch. A bitch is a badge I wear with pride - catty - not so much*

Matt-Man said...

Miz Angell: Ha. What you have said describes what I have seen very often, well except for the men beating the hell out of each other. In my case, I am more of a verbal antagonist. Although, I never back down should it rise to a physical level.

Thanks for stopping by, and for the comment. Cheers Angell!!

Beth said...

This is why I haven't had girlfriends in years. I can't stand the gossip, cattiness, and bitchiness associated with keeping up the friendship. To much effin effort, and believe me, I can be the biggest bitch you've ever seen!!!

Matt-Man said...

Schmoop: I agree, you are the biggest bitch I have ever seen. HA. I crack myself up. Cheers and Zooooves!!

Beth said...

You know you aren't funny, right?!!!

Matt-Man said...

Schmoop: Ha...you tell me that often, but it has yet to sink in. Cheers Schmoop!! Schmoop? I wuvvvv you.

metalmom said...

I saw first hand how brutal this gets in the four years I spent in an all-girl CATHOLIC high school. (Not a very Christian environment) Now, I can count on one hand my very closest girlfriends and my male friends? Outnumber them by a large margin.

Men think of work, sex, boobs, sex, bacon, hoohas, sex, sports, money and sex. See? Very limited time to dwell on more.


Women think of weight, looks, 'the Jones's' and keeping up, the kids and television feeds our inadequacies with models, "real housewives" and myriad other things that show us how we can NEVER be perfect. We have to take it out on someone.

Or some shit. I don't know. If I did, I'd be a fucking millionaire. Or at least fucking a millionaire.

Matt-Man said...

Metal: Hee Hee. I love you, but I'm not a millionaire. Still wanna fuck? Cheers Metal!!

Charlene said...

Man, I had to check my comments on that post.

I told Lenny last night I could never stand to spend a week end with a group of just women, any women. Men put up with us because on some level they want sex. I know all their stuff so I don't have the patience for it.

Marilyn said...

Must be why my nonblogging friends are all men or lesbians... oh wait, I do have a girlfriend that's not a lesbian, but she makes me crazy... maybe it's something about competition?

Mike said...

I'm here late and there's nothing left to say.

Matt-Man said...

Charlene: Fortunately for me, I get along with everyone, so this does not affect me. I'm cool like that. Cheers Charlene!!

Marilyn: Compettiton will always rear its ugly head. Say hello to all of the men and lesbians for me. Cheers Marilyn!!

Mike: That may have been your best comment evah. Cheers Mike!!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...It has always been, is now, and forever will be, ALL about the hoo-ha...

Matt-Man said...

Phfrankie: And occasionally, Foot Long Coneys and Onion Rings. Mmmmmm, onion rings. Cheers P-Man!!

David said...

Well HELL

This stinks

I was expecting a wonderful blowjob story from that title and one that I could ponder while I....well, never mind about that.

You SUCK Matt-Man for causing me to get a chubby that went to waste.

:-)

Matt-Man said...

David: I'm sure you worked it out somehow. Cheers David!!

The Dish said...

Matt, First and foremost, Hello! I follow you on twitter and figured I would wonder on over and introduce myself. Trish aka Mrs Wally aka The Dish.

The Husband has always said, "Women don't like each other, let alone themselves." Truer words have never been spoken.

My theory is that all men are assholes and all women are fucking crazy. There are just varying degrees.

~Isobel~DingoDoll said...

Schmoop is right on.. women are cu*ts, and I am one! Maybe that's why I have always been a tomboy and hung out with 'the guys'. Now I am nopt saying I have never beeen a cu*t, 'cos I have, ask any woman I know, they'll tell you what a cu*t I am, surely, but I think for the most part this why my friends have almost all been male. That and because they had penises. It's gotta be one of those. Thanks for the post!