Thursday, July 22, 2010

Riddle Me This...

I have a question…

Including today, I will have worked twelve of the last thirteen days, but tomorrow?

I am off all day.

Ryno will be busy helping his uncle’s family move into their new house, so he’s unavailable.

Schmoop will have the car, so I can’t drive anywhere. In fact…

Other than walking up to the Beer Mine to get my check, I’ll be stuck in the Bagwine Digs from the time I get up around 6 A.M. until Schmoop gets home around 4 P.M.

So…Tell me folks.


What the Hell should I do on my day off on Friday?

And please…Don’t tell me to go fuck myself or the like.

I get told that all the time; ergo, I am immune to that line of personal attack.

Cheers!!

35 comments:

MysteryChick said...

I've been thinking and thinking and I still got nothing...sorry!

Matt-Man said...

Chick: Well thanks for trying. I am going to finally shave my head, but that will only take about 20 minutes. Cheers Chick!!

Charlene said...

If I had a day:

I'd take a long bath, wash my hair, pluck anything that needed plucking, shave my legs, manicure my toenails and paint them, read the papers, write in my journal, read on a book, take a nap, write a poem, write a blog entry, comment on everyone's blog, fix something really delicious like brownies or cookies.. see if I could lure a willing victim over for a visit. Lord knows. I know I'd not be bored.

Kim said...

Same thing I will be doing, naked tweeting!!!!

Jeff B said...

Hop on a bus and go across town and back. A couple hours of public transportation should offer up blog fodder O' Plenty.

Matt-Man said...

Charlene: That all sounds good. If I do that, I'll take pictures. Cheers Charlene!!

Kim: Well that's a given that you and I have already decided. Should I walk to get my check while naked as well?

Jeff: Ha. Actually, that's not a bad idea at all. I may consider that. I dig that. Cheers Jeff!!

Mike said...

Stay on the computer until 3am like normal retired people do. Sleep until noon. Go get your check. Hang out at the beer mine. Wait for Boris. When he comes in and asks for something tell him to fuck off, your off today. Come home, drink beer, wait for Schmoop.

Matt-Man said...

Mike: Ha. There's only problem with that. There's no way in Hell I could sleep 'til Noon. Cheers Mike!!

jme said...

no, matt-man, YOU riddle me this -
could my knight in shining armor really just be a fucking retard in tin foil? go!

Matt-Man said...

jme: I guess so. Who the hell are ya, anyway? C'mon now...you've been messing with me long enough. Say your says. Cheers JME!!

Scott Oglesby said...

Write. All day. Just write. You need to let some shit out and you need to allow your creative juices to erupt all over Bagwine.

Matt-Man said...

Scott: That's a good idea. Drink and write. I'll come back later when I'm sober to edit. Not a bad thought although the way your phrased it sounded more than a bit sexual. Cheers Scott!!

Beth said...

How do you KNOW I'll be working till 4:00? Hee Hee! I got idea!!!

Matt-Man said...

Schmoop: Are you speaking of some afternoon delight? If you are, let me know and I'll find my Starland Vocal Band CD. Cheers and Zoves Schmoop!!

Beth said...

I'm not tellllling!!!!

Matt-Man said...

Schmoop: Oooooo, a woman of mystery. I'll leave the door unlocked in case you want to storm the digs so we can play, "Escaped, Horny, Female Inmate and the Unsuspecting Warden."

Cheers and Zoves!!

Andy said...

Axis and Allies the solo edition. Its where you are king of world. Lots of beer, of course.

Matt-Man said...

Andy: You know of course, if I did that, I would play it for at least twelve hours straight. Why do you torture me with such a temptation.

Cheers Anj. Schmoop and I will see ya next Friday!!

David said...

There's always some people watching at the mall which proves very entertaining, an afternoon movie in a nearly deserted theatre, make yourself a nice picnic and go to a neighborhood park.....

but really, if you do develop that skill to fuck yourself, please promise that you will capture that on DVD - I swear you could make millions with a do-it-yourself kit.

Matt-Man said...

David: Thanks, but did you see the part where I have no car? It's kind of like work walking fifteen miles to do all of those things. Cheers David!!

Raquel's World said...

How about get totally sloshed then blog while you are wasted. I bet that post would be FUUUUNNN!

Matt-Man said...

Raquel: Well I am sure that will be part of the day. In fact, it happens often. But because you mentioned it, I'll try to do something special on here at some point tomorrow. Cheers Roc!!

David said...

Do you have the Zip hourly car rentals in your neighborhood? I have a lot of neighbors with no car who use that program for a few hours to get around for fun stuff or errands.

Ironically, you home has two people with one car and my home has one people and two cars...but in fairness an antique convertible is not all that useful for dependable transportation in inclement weather.

Matt-Man said...

David: We don't have the hourly car renatls, but there is a homeless guy 'round here who would probably push me around in his grocery cart if I buy him a forty of King Cobra. Cheers David!!

Evil Twin's Wife said...

Looks like drinking has already been established...so, take a hot shower (and clean your act up in case Schmoop DOES want the afternoon delight),take a nap, order pizza or chinese delivery for lunch, tweet naked.

Matt-Man said...

Evil: Drinking? Check. Hot Shower? Check. Lunch? Unless I take Ryno out, I don't do lunch. But the naked tweeting...

I will beging tweeting wearing only Schmoop's Bagwine boxers and my Bagwine shirt. After that, it's all coming off and there will be pictures. I feel a need for sleaze. Cheers ETW!!

Jay said...

Let's see. You could ..

Go for a walk
Watch a movie
Read a book
Get a pedicure
Clean the apartment
Volunteer at the humane society
Help old ladies cross the street
Solve world hunger, tell nobody
Drink beer and tweet all day (what I would do)

Watch Seinfeld DVDs all day
Practice some new dance moves
Spy on the neighbors
Lift weights
Rearrange your sock drawer
Go to a strip club (the other thing I would do)

Plan for world domination (also part of my plans)

See lots of cool stuff you could do. ;-)

Matt-Man said...

Jay: You know...That's all good stuff, and I appreciate the effort that went in to it, but how 'bout this?

I'll get an early buzz on and then call you and we can talk about bloggers that we think are HOT. Cheers Jay!!

The Dish said...

I thought we were naked tweeting? What happened to that idea? I thought it was genius...

Jay said...

Might be the best freaking idea you've ever had. And you've had some good ones.

Matt-Man said...

Dish: Oh yeah baby, the naked tweeting is still a go, but I can multi-task and need more than that. Cheers Dish!!

Jay: Ha. And probably the safest idea as well. If you're around, I shall ring you on the 'morrow. Cheers Jay!!

Doc said...

Bagwine is gonna be jumping tomorrow!

Matt-Man said...

Doc: Let's hope so. I think Schmoop is pulling a fast one. I think she took Friday off and is going to surprise me. Uh-Huh...I have an instinct for these things. Cheers Doc!!

Dana said...

I'm going to watch you and Kim tweet naked.

Oh! Wait! This wasn't about what I would do, it was about what *you* should do. D'oh ....

Ummmm ... ummmm ...

I got nothin'

Matt-Man said...

Dana: Eh it happens. I got nothin' most of the time but I am really good at working smoke and mirrors. Cheers Dana!!