Funnies and Gays Unite!!

As Monday at the Beer Mine was rather slow, my mind began to wander…and wonder.

I don’t know why, maybe it was the homeless transvestite walking past, perhaps it was because I was laughing about something while hearing a promo for the Rachel Maddow Show, but…

I had an epiphany.

Funny people and gay people have many things in common. First of all you are either born with it or not.

Seriously…

Just as gay people are born with the desire to be intimate with those of the same sex, meticulously shave their chest and facial hair, or if a butch woman like Rosie O’Donnell, meticulously allow their chest and facial hair to grow…

Funny people are born with the desire to be intimate with the misfortune of others, meticulously point out the stupidity of society, and...

if you happen to be a funny person named Butch, delight in the fact that everyone will laugh with you for fear of you beating the shit out of them should they not.

Another thing…

Just as far too many gay people suppress their natural gayness to avoid getting the stink eye from society, many funny people suppress their funniness.

I know many naturally funny guys who refuse to publicly be funny, because their wife or girlfriend will give them the stink eye and withhold sex.

Conversely, sometimes gay and funny folks should suppress their genetic make-up…

There are times when gay people run around unabashedly promoting their sense of gayness through parades full of gay men dressed like Cher, and gay chicks walking their bitch around with a leash.

Gay people should stop that; it’s creepy.

And...

There are many funny people who unabashedly promote their funniness through parades full of grown, fez wearing men driving in figure eights in tiny cars, and funny women dressed as clowns handing out candy to little kids.

Funny people should stop that; it’s creepy.

The last thing that came to mind to me?

Both groups are oppressed and unfairly treated by some, and why is that, you ask?

Well, in the case of gays, many folks find their looks, lifestyle, and sexual proclivities to be strange and an abomination before God.

In the case of funny people, many folks find their jokes, sarcasm, and laughter to be strange and an abomination toward their lack of a sense of humor.

Based upon these commonalities, I think the Funnies and Gays should unite…some type of coalition united in fostering understanding and acceptance.

Hmmm? Funnies and Gays united. I deem today this day October 19th, the day that this coalition be known as…

FAGs United. Let the oppression end with me.

Matt-Man…Bringing the world closer together through bareback joke telling.

Somebody please alert the Nobel Peace Prize committee.

Let them know that they can contact me at the Beer Mine today from 10-9.

Cheers!!