Saturday at about 5:30 PM, an undercover cop came through the Beer Mine and informed me that several Beer Drive-Thrus in the area had been robbed by armed thugs.He was going around to give all places such as ours a heads up. I appreciated it, but it put me on edge a bit…made me a bit nervous.
Anyhoo…
I worked 11-7 on Sunday and with this info still fresh in my mind I began to lock up at 7 PM. I was in the office doing my closing shit when there was a knock on the door to the outside.
Nervously, I yelled to the unseen fucker…
“We’re closed!!”
The knocking on the glass continued and I said once again…
“We’re closed asshole!!”
The glass door is covered with a full door sized poster so you can’t see in or out.
The anonymous rapping continued and got louder. I bellowed:
“Damn it!! Get the fuck outta here or I’ll call the cops!!”
The knocking continued so I dialed 911 when I hear in addition to the knocking of the potential armed robber on the outside chuckling and then saying to me through the door…“Hee. Hee. Matt, it’s Mike!!”
I hung up the phone; let the “incredibly amusing” owner of the Beer Mine in, as he was laughing his ass off.
Two seconds later, the Police called me back stating they received a 911 hang up from us and wanted to know if everything was alright.
I explained to the dispatcher everything was fine and the problem was, and I quote…
“My damn boss!!”
Drive-By Mike was rolling and so was I by then, but was still fucking pissed off as hell at the same time!! Fucker.
And there you have it…My incredible excitement from the Beer Mine yesterday. And?
I get to do it all over today and I believe the cops may get called again, because I am seriously considering taking the baseball bat we keep in the office and bludgeoning Drive-By Mikey with it.
Have a wonderful Monday all and if you’d like to listen to the Thanksgiving episode of I’m With Stupid, just click on the spiffy sound machine:
Cheers!!
13 comments:
Guys named Mike can be pretty funny.
Damn, you could have punched him through the poster covered glass. I always wanted to knock someone out through a pane of glass; it always looks so cool in the movies. I hate when my hand gets cut though….
Mike: Hee. Yeah...sometimes. Cheers Mike!!
Scott: Yeah that would have been pretty cool, well...until the shots rang out. Cheers Scott!!
That was a bit scary. Good thing you called the would be robber fucker, that way he knew in advance that you don't play. Glad you didn't get robbed.
Raquel: That's my plan of defense every time, for as we all know, a man with a gun and a meth addiction can be stopped in his tracks by calling him a fucker. Cheers Roc!!
Mike sounds like a riot. I'd be half tempted to let the police explain why this practical joke is not all that funny. As a joke of course.
Michele: Oh he's a riot alright. I explained it to him. He didn't know about the cop coming through or the robberies. Cheers Michele!!
P-Man: He'd probably enjoy that. he's a freak. Cheers P-Man!!
I think he knew, that's why he showed up and just kept knocking. Unless you made that part up. he he he
Micky: No, he didn't know and I didn't make it up. In fact his wife was with him and gave him tons of shit about it after I told her about the cop. Cheers Mick!!
Be careful out there ...
And tell Mikey it's all fun and games until someone loses a ball - or is that an eye?
I'm betting if the robbers were hot 18 year old girls you would have no problem letting them in. You might even beg them for a pistol whipping.
At least it was not some effin armed robber. getting a gun stuck in your face is not fun.I know.
Dianne: Ha. I told him just that today. Cheers Di!!
Knight: That's tempting but no...Mikey hates when the drawer is off. Cheers Knight!!
Mike: I can imagine. Glad you survived. Cheers Mike!!
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