Sunday Morning Church Disservice: Up and Down

It’s going to be a warm and windy Sabbath here in Bagwine, Ohio today making my stint at the Beer Mine from 11-7 relatively comfortable.

Let me tell ya; that will be more than welcome as yesterday at the Mine was full of many ups and downs.

Early in the day Drive-By Mikey called me and we discussed the abysmal state of beer sales in Bagwine.

I think that due to the economy, people have turned to cooking their own meth instead of drinking. I am going to try to confirm my hypothesis by checking to see if sales of Sterno and Sudafed are on the rise.

After our depressing conversation, I looked out to the lot and there in their van sat Ryno and his mom. My mood improved.

Ryno’s mom and I held our weekly exchange. I gave her 130 dollars and she gave me a Double Cheeseburger and a cup of coffee. As that trade-off demonstrates, I am one helluva wily negotiator.

Eh, my mood improved as Ryno described how well he played during his basketball scrimmage that they had just come from.

And then…Ryno pulled out his Interim Report Card. My heart sank briefly as I envisioned his usual cadre of C’s, D’s, and F’s, and then I opened it up.

Praise Jeebus!! He had 4 A’s, a B, and 2 C’s. Hopefully, he has broken his habitual academic laziness for good. My mood was pretty good upon seeing the grades.

And then my mind wandered back to the state of my employment as I noticed the lack of business coming through the Mine.

Eh…Later in the day shortly after the sun had gone down, I was waiting on a guy and the car behind him freaked the shit right out of me.

I noticed a police officer in an unmarked car. Sitting…Idling…Staring. I thought to myself…

“Fuck. Did I sell to a minor?”

Panic set in, as in a matter of 2.3 seconds, I recalled every customer that had come through on Saturday.

He pulled up, rolled down his window, and in quite the official tone said, “Good Evening, Sir.”

I thought, “Oh Boy, here comes the other shoe.”

Turns out that he wasn’t there to arrest me for mistakenly selling a can of Steel Reserve to an eight year old with a beard which made me happy, however…

Instead he was there to alert me to the fact that several Drive-Thrus in Bagwine had recently been robbed at gunpoint. Weeeeeeee. Put a happy hat on me after that info!!

So much for the short lived joy of my non-arrest…I had another thing to worry about. And worry I did.

Instead of truly paying attention to what I was doing, I was watching the street while waiting on customers.

In fact I was so distracted, that last night’s drawer could very well be off hundreds of dollars. Not literally, but you get the point.

I was focused on the perimeter of the Mine not the money I was handling.

And then…

My rollercoaster of emotions got a bit of a lift about an hour before close. A regular came through and told me how his girlfriend had just told him that I was the best Drive-Thru guy on the planet.

That was nice. I smiled as I paced around the outside of the building keeping an eye out for neer-do-wells.

My nervousness was broken with a laugh as I waited on a hot, barely 18 year chick and her hot friend just before close.

The chick wanted cigarettes. I carded her and upon seeing she had turned 18 last month I sold them to her and then she asked…

“Hey, you wouldn’t mind selling me a 24 ounce Corona, would ya?” To which I responded…

“Sure dear.”

With happiness beaming from her face with the light of a thousand suns she said…

“Really!!?” And I chuckled and retorted…

“No.”

Ha!! As she drove off, she didn’t know whether to laugh at me or be pissed off at me. I like leaving that impression on people.

In a muck and mire of up and downs I drove home and walked into the digs at around 9:10 and was greeted with this:


(Check out the orb that showed up in the picture. We have spirits living in the digs.!!)

Yep. Christmas has come to Bagwine. In spite of her disdain for Christmas, Schmoop had decorated the apartment for Christmas because she knows I dig it.

After a few beers and a pint of Rose, I thanked Schmoop…Twice!!

Amen, and Amen…

Have a wonderful Sunday and I’ll see ya ‘round the internets after work and my Sunday night visit to Ryno.

Cheers!!