Sunday, February 27, 2011

Sunday Morning Church Service: Bus Throwing Under and Birthdays!!

It’s going to be a warm Sabbath in Bagwine, Ohio but call up Noah and place a reservation on his ark, we are under a flood watch from midnight tonight through tomorrow.

Of course, as our apartment is some 12-15 feet above ground level, I think we’ll be just dandy.

I am in a rush so this post shall be made in haste…

Ryno and his HS basketball mates lost in the opening round of the State HS Tourney so their season is over. They finished 9-12.

Eh, their small school stepped up in the level of competition they played this year, so all in all not a terrible showing.

Better luck next year to Ryno and the returning players.

Lately I have been singing the praises of Libyan Strongman and my friend Muammar Gaddafi.

I have stood by his side while he has been vilified and even been called whacked out and crazy.

Well…it’s time for me to throw him under the bus because, he is mentally unstable. How do I know, you ask?

I received this e-mail from him last night:

Yo Matt-Man…

How‘s my fave infidel? I had milk and honey earlier. My pet goat escaped and ate my drapes. The wailing in the streets sound like Ethel Merman singing and I have gas from the camel balls I had for din-din.

Lipo-Flavonoids are overrated. Bing-do-fulluh-scarpum tada!!

Yours in Christ,

Yep, call me crazy, but I think it’s time for me to re-evaluate my friendship with M-Gad.

Amen, and Amen…

One last thing before I hit that old dusty yet soon to be wet trail…

Today marks the Birthday of my favorite Netherlander…er…Hollander, um Dutcher? Whatever the fuck those dike pluggin’ bastards are calling themselves these days.

Anyhoo…I want to wish a Happy Birthday to the sexiest thigh high wooden boot-wearing Dutchie in the world, the uber-hot…

Dutch Bitch!!

Mmmmm. Man she’s hot even standing in the bathroom fully clothed. Happy Birthday DB. I’m drinking more than a few in your honor today!!



DutchBitch said...

Awwwww Thank youououo!!! *SMOOCH*

Matt-Man said...

DB: Quit being so quick dammit!! It's even better since I made my fucking corrections!! Happy Birthday Hot Stuff!~!

Anonymous said...

God bless the Dutch.

Jay said...

The Netherhollers are some damn cool people. All laid back and high all the time does that to people.

Maybe Gah-da-feee should go and spend a week in Amsterdam. Or, the rest of his life.

Mike said...

You may need DB to plug your dike.

Matt-Man said...

Steven: And their Hash Houses. Cheers Steven!!

Jay: He is a snappy dresser and the Ducyh hotties would be putty in his hands. Cheers Jay!!

Mike: I'd love that!! Cheers Mike!!